Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Not telling family



Recommended Posts

Surgery is 12/9. I don't want to tell my family I am having the surgery, but I am not sure what I am going to tell them at Christmas when all i can eat is puree.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps you can tell them you ate already and stick to snacking on the mashed potatoes?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the stomach flu one year at Christmas and couldn't even be in the same room as the food. I believe in everyone's right to privacy but sometimes not saying anything can cause more problems. A simple, "I'm not feeling well" may suffice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you not want to tell family because you are afraid they will be negative? If so, just focus on your diet and do not feel the need to make an excuse for what to tell them. Focus on visiting and catching up with relatives. No one should be monitoring your food intake. I know I wouldn't pay attention to what people are eating. I am just happy to see people I don't get to see all year.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not telling my family either. I'm scheduled 12/10/14. So Christmas will be the norm to tell you the truth. There's so many of us. Know one will bat an eye. Unless I make it obvious. Besides my weight has fluctuated so much in the last 10yrs LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sure you each have your reasons for not wanting to tell your family, however, I was so excited to share my journey with my family and know that I have their support along the way. It isn't anything to be ashamed of you are doing this for you. I am proud of you for making the decision to better your life!

I was the extreme opposite, before surgery I made sure my co-workers, friends and family all knew what was going on so that when I came back or ran into them again they wouldn't worry that I was sick and they would support me in knowing that they don't bring a lot of extra "snacks" around my desk to tempt me away from what I know is good. Just a thought! either way you will have all of us here cheering you on!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sure you each have your reasons for not wanting to tell your family, however, I was so excited to share my journey with my family and know that I have their support along the way. It isn't anything to be ashamed of you are doing this for you. I am proud of you for making the decision to better your life!

I was the extreme opposite, before surgery I made sure my co-workers, friends and family all knew what was going on so that when I came back or ran into them again they wouldn't worry that I was sick and they would support me in knowing that they don't bring a lot of extra "snacks" around my desk to tempt me away from what I know is good. Just a thought! either way you will have all of us here cheering you on!!

I haven't had surgery yet but I am so much like you. I have told pretty much everyone about it. And have a great support group. I honestly have been that way about everything in my life up until now. But I do understand that some people are intensely private. I have no idea how my family would react if they didn't know and I had to sit through a family dinner with them weeks after surgery. My family is definitely the "try this, it's amazing, go on, try it, try it. just one bite" type even after someone's said no to something.

I agree that telling folks you're feeling sick to your stomach might be the best way to go!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sure you each have your reasons for not wanting to tell your family, however, I was so excited to share my journey with my family and know that I have their support along the way. It isn't anything to be ashamed of you are doing this for you. I am proud of you for making the decision to better your life!

I was the extreme opposite, before surgery I made sure my co-workers, friends and family all knew what was going on so that when I came back or ran into them again they wouldn't worry that I was sick and they would support me in knowing that they don't bring a lot of extra "snacks" around my desk to tempt me away from what I know is good. Just a thought! either way you will have all of us here cheering you on!!

That's how I was with my family. When I told my mom, I ended with "I just wanted you to know so you don't think I'm dying or anything."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Today was an exciting day, My insurance has approved my surgery. So scheduling should happen any day now. I have chosen to do this so that I just feel better. But I know that the surgery is looked upon negatively by friends and family, My husband is aware, but we will keep it at that for now. I know this is the beginning to a healthier me and will allow for more quality time with loved ones.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am telling my mom boyfriend and two teenage daughter's. Mostly because I need them to help with my youngest son and they have no judgment and won't tell anyone. I had planned on getting surgery two years ago and things happened ppl were very rude to me said it's easy way out. My sister in law had it done and ppl still three yr latee say she could have lost if she wasn't lazy. It's just not something I will put myself thru. I am going to tell ppl if they ask that I stopped soda bread and eat less with exercise. All is very true I am working on my weight now because I have 6 months to go before surgery can be approved by insurance

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only told my husband and sister. I tell everyone else I'm "going hard" on my new diet. They're going to see a change even that close post op. They'll admire you're dedication. After all it IS a new diet...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am having surgery on the 11th. I have only told my sister and a friend. Don't want them to worry. I don't think the would approve, they are pretty old school.. So, I am "dieting". Will figure out Christmas when the time comes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm scheduled for December 26th. My husband knows but I haven't told the kids yet (Ages 14,13 and 10). I don't want to worry them before it is necessary but I'm going to have to have a talk with them before I start the pre-op diet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 4 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

      4. AmberFL

        How are you doing? any update?!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×