Momof2inIowa

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the Food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

A lot of weight loss surgery patients struggle with weight for their entire lives before deciding to get surgery. The same is true for Michele Elbertson. The difference is that Michele was only 23 when she hit 427 pounds and got her wake-up call. She got the lap-band, changed her lifestyle, and dropped 260 pounds. She’s run 6 marathons in the past two and a half years, and is training for her first Ironman triathlon this spring.


Bigger from Birth…And Then College Hit
Michele was always big. She was at the top of her height and weight charts from the time she was an infant. She remembers times in her childhood when she couldn’t or wouldn’t participate because she was so big. She didn’t like physical education or sports, and the other children teased her.
Food was a comfort. Michele describes the situation as a vicious cycle. The more kids teased her, the worse she felt. The worse she felt, the more she ate. The more she ate, the more she weighed. The more she weighed, the more she got teased.
College was a disaster in terms of her weight. Forget about the freshman 15. What about the freshman 40? And the sophomore 40? Add to that the junior 40, the senior 40, and, for good measure, the super-senior (fifth-year) 67, and you now know how Michele Elbertson got to be 427 pounds at the age of 22 years.
A Young Weight Loss Surgery Patient with New Relationships
Michele made the decision to get the lap-band on her own. She needed a tool to help her control how much she ate, but understood that it was up to her to control what she ate. She only told her parents about her decision after she was sure about it. They were supportive, and have been since then.
Michele has taken full advantage of and responsibility for the band. She has lost 260 pounds – 260 pounds! – in less than four years. As she says, she’s a determined person who will accomplish anything she sets her mind to.
Michele began to “eat to live” rather than “live to eat.” As her relationships with food and exercise changed, so did her relationships with some friends. She lost some friends whose relationships centered only on food. She gained many more, though, through her new activities. She says the friends she’s gained through running and fitness far outweigh those she lost by changing her lifestyle.
An Athlete Is Born
Michele ran her first 5k after losing 100 pounds – when she was still 327 pounds. She was hooked. She loved the training, the atmosphere of the race, and the accomplishment. She has never looked back. Since then, she has run countless other races, including 38 half-marathons, 6 marathons, and a 50-miler ultra-marathon. She has also competed in triathlons.
Now at an athletic 159 pounds, Michele has her sights on even greater challenges. In the near future, she wants to run a 100-miler and complete an Ironman. Both are feats that most people wouldn’t even dream of.
Marathons, Ultras, and Ironmans
Now, not everyone’s a distance runner or triathlete, so to understand Michele’s accomplishments, here are a few facts about these endurance sports.
A marathon is 26.2 miles. All marathons are 26.2 miles.
An ultra-marathon is anything over 26.2 miles. Michele’s recently completed ultra-marathon was 50 miles, and she is training for a 100-miler.
A triathlon includes swimming, biking, and running. An Ironman triathlon consists of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile marathon.

Fitting It All in Every Day
Michele works out 6 days a week. Currently, she’s training for an ulta-marathon and is running 5 days a week and lifting weights 3 times. She also does Zumba classes. She takes a rest day once a week.
Michele has built her life to be able to accommodate her training schedule. She recently quit her teaching career to focus instead on helping others achieve their fitness and health goals. She is a personal trainer and group fitness instructor. Working at a gym is pure genius – it leaves her with no excuse not to get her workout in!
Eating Like a Bariathlete
How do you have energy to train like an athlete and work full-time while losing over 200 pounds in 4 years? Ask Michele. Here’s how she eats and works out in a typical day.
7:00 a.m. breakfast: almonds and yogurt or eggs/romaine lettuce
9:00 a.m. snack: protein bar
Workout, such as running, lifting, or group fitness class, such as Zumba or bokwa
Noon. lunch: soup or salad, usually the largest meal of the day
2:00 p.m. snack: cheese and crackers or something small, equivalent to 200 calories (may include a fruit or vegetable)
4:00 p.m. snack: hot tea
6:00 p.m. dinner; lean protein, veggie, possibly a carb
7:30 p.m. snack: lemon water/hot tea.

The number of calories Michele eats during a day is 1,800 (her resting metabolic rate) plus half of the calories she burns through exercise. So, if she runs 10 miles and burns 1,200 calories in exercise, she’ll eat 1,800 plus 600 calories, or 2,400 calories. She allows herself an occasional treat meal with junk food, but still counts those calories.
The Accolades
Michele is more than your typical bariatric patient, and she’s been getting the recognition she deserves for her extraordinary achievements. These are a few recent examples.
Runner’s World magazine Cover Contest Finalist.
Makeover on the Rachel Ray Show.
Local feature on 6ABC Action News in Philadelphia.

Dealing with Negativity – Don’t Worry About It
One of the most striking things about Michele is her drive. She has worked very, very hard to get where she’s at today. She’s lost 60 percent of her body weight through being very disciplined every day. And, she has run marathons. Anyone who has run a marathon can tell you that it is was harder than they had ever imagined. Anyone who hasn’t run a marathon cannot imagine how difficult it is.
But with all the publicity, Michele has receive a lot of nasty comments. How is she supposed to react when people slam her? They say she hasn’t accomplished anything, that the band has done it all. In fact, they basically say what a lot of weight loss surgery patients hear all the time from people who don’t know any better.
So how does Michele react to negativity? She doesn’t want to respond directly and add “fuel to the fire.” She knows they don’t know anything about her, and she’s probably done more exercise and worked harder than they ever have. So, she just goes about her business.
Leading by Example
Michele says she hopes her successes and story will give others hope. She describes herself as a “real person” and “very down-to-earth,” and she hopes others will see that they can accomplish what she has. In the future, she would like to travel to seminars as a motivational speaker. In the meantime, we congratulate her on her amazing story and wish her well in her 100-miler this spring!

Love this. Thank you for sharing.

Years ago when I was in my early 40’s I wondered if it was possible to be considered grateful while still wanting / seeking more in my life. That presented such a conflict in my mind and heart. I felt that I was truly grateful but at the same time driven and desiring so much more.


Years ago when I was in my early 40’s I wondered if it was possible to be considered grateful while still wanting / seeking more in my life. That presented such a conflict in my mind and heart. I felt that I was truly grateful but at the same time driven and desiring so much more.
I pondered this each Thanksgiving for a number of years then, I just let it go. Just last week as I was browsing Pinterest, this thought popped up.

“Gratitude is what turns everything into enough”


This beautiful sentiment touched my heart, filled my spirit and answered my question from long ago. I heard and understood something different about gratitude. I suppose that I see many things differently now, now that I am in my mid-50’s. My priorities have changed my attitude has improved. I am happy, content and grateful beyond measure. Perhaps I have gained an understanding that only time can teach. Or perhaps it is simply about pausing long enough to count my blessings. So this season, I am grateful to be grateful!
Please take a moment to enjoy one of my favorite poems:

Drinking From My Saucer



I've never made a fortune
and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.



And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.



I don't have a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loved ones around me,
and that makes me rich enough.



I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'cause my cup has overflowed.



I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.



So God, help me not to gripe about
the tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.



If God gives me strength and courage,
when the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.



And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.



~ John Paul Moore ~


My wish for you this Thanksgiving is that you will find contentment in our current circumstances, whatever they maybe. May you find joy and happiness in the simple blessings life and may everything you have be enough.

Since you first started looking into weight loss surgery, you’ve probably been hearing a lot about the importance of protein. You need at least 60 to 80 grams a day for the following reasons:
It’s a filling nutrient that helps you lose weight by decreasing hunger. It’s an essential nutrient for healthy skin, hair, nails, hormones, and enzymes. It helps stop you from losing too much muscle while you lose body fat.

Almost everyone needs protein supplements right after weight loss surgery. Protein shakes and powders give you the protein you need when you’re not allowed to eat solid foods. But which types should you choose? And should you keep using them when you’re eating solid foods and surgery is long behind you?
Protein for the Liquid Phase of the Post Weight Loss Surgery Diet Progression
After a day or two of sticking to clear liquids, you progress to a full liquid diet. You can be on this diet for a few days, if you’re a lap-band patient, or a couple of weeks, if you have the gastric sleeve or gastric bypass. Protein sources include the following. Non-fat milk, with 90 calories and 8 grams of protein per 8 ounces. Non-fat milk powder, with 100 calories and 10 grams of protein per ounce. Low-sugar protein powder, with 110 calories and 25 grams of protein per ounce. Low-sugar protein shakes, with 100 or more calories and 15 or more grams of protein per 8 ounces. Without supplementing your diet with protein shakes and powders, you’re not going to be able to hit your 60 to 80 grams of protein.
Protein Powders and Shakes in the Pureed Foods Phase
This phase is really a transition phase. You’re adding foods back into your diet, but aren’t yet ready to eat chewy, sticky, crunchy, or other solid foods. Protein foods include the following.
Non-fat cottage cheese, with 12 grams of protein per half-cup. Non-fat ricotta cheese, with 5 grams of protein per half-cup. Egg whites, with 4 grams of protein per extra-large white. Non-fat Greek or regular yogurt, with 8 to 14 grams of protein per container. During this phase, your surgeon will probably have you start to decrease your use of protein shakes and powders, but will probably recommend keeping them in your diet to help you get to 60 to 80 grams of protein per day. You might need one or two shakes a day, plus powder in foods such as oatmeal, yogurt, or pureed potatoes.
Be Wary of Protein Supplements in the Long-Term
Protein shakes and powders can be convenient, but they’re not your best bet for long-term weight loss. As you progress from pureed foods to semi-solid and then solid foods, your surgeon will probably recommend that you stop drinking shakes and focus instead on solid sources of protein.
They’re more substantial and satisfying than liquid shakes. They take longer to eat than drinking shakes. They’re easier to fit into a real-life eating plan. You won’t be “drinking your calories.” They have more natural nutrients than processed shakes and powders. Most weight loss surgery patients can get enough protein just by choosing one or two high-protein foods for each meal. You’ll get 60 to 80 grams with the following foods.
Breakfast: 2 scrambled egg whites with ½ light English muffin and some fruit. Lunch: ½ cup fat-free cottage cheese and a green salad with 3 ounces of canned light tuna. Dinner: 3 ounces of chicken breast and steamed spinach. Snack 1: 1 low-fat cheese stick. Snack 2: 1 6-ounce container of plain low-fat yogurt and ½ cup carrot sticks. When Protein Supplements Are Okay
Still, some weight loss surgery patients may still need protein shakes and powders in the long term. That’s often the case for vertical sleeve patients if your sleeve fills up too quickly to allow you to eat enough solid protein throughout the day. Talk to your surgeon to find out whether you should still use shakes and powders. Your surgeon might suggest that you include one or two protein shakes a day as snacks or mix protein powder into your yogurt, cereal or other foods.
Protein supplements can still come in handy even if you’re able to meet your protein requirements on your daily weight loss surgery diet. If your routine gets interrupted, you might come up short. Consider the protein you can miss if you need to change your regular plans for a meal or snack.
10 grams of protein if you run out the door without grabbing your yogurt in the morning. 22 grams of protein if you forget to pack your tuna for lunch. 26 grams of protein if you’re stuck in a meeting instead of cooking your chicken dinner at home. When you’re stuck in the car or too busy to plan ahead, protein shakes can be lifesavers. On vacation, you can take protein powder with you so you’re always sure to have a source when you need it. You could also try Unjury Protein’d Cheese Sauce on steamed vegetables for an extra 21 grams of protein.
Read the Nutrition Facts Panel to Find Protein Content
The Food and Drug Administration lets food manufacturers call a food “a good source of” protein if it has at least 5 grams of protein. If a serving has at least 10 grams of protein, a food can be labeled “high,” “rich in,” or “an excellent source of” protein. That doesn’t do you much good if you’re trying to find a shake or powder with at least 15 to 20 grams of protein per serving.
Don’t rely on a claim on the front of the label when you’re looking for a protein supplement. You could end up with a “high-protein” shake with only 10 grams of protein! Instead, check the nutrition facts panel to see how many grams of protein the food or shake has per serving.
Check the Label for Calories and Sugar
Protein shakes and powders can be high in calories and sugar. A bottle of Special K Protein has only 10 grams of protein, but 190 calories and 18 grams of sugar. A Pure Protein Frosty Chocolate Shake has 15 grams of protein, but 190 calories and 25 grams of sugar. A can of Boost High Protein drink has 15 grams of protein, 240 calories and 27 grams of sugars.
No matter which stage of your weight loss surgery diet you’re on, you can’t afford to eat too many calories or too much sugar. The only way to protect yourself is to read the labels.
Protein supplements can be great choices for boosting your intake to 60 to 80 grams a day. Shakes and powders can get you through the liquid and pureed foods stages of the post-surgery diet progression, and they can have a place in your diet even when you reach your long-term weight loss surgery diet plan. Just make sure not to overuse them if your surgeon is concerned, and to choose low-sugar options.

Tony Robbins says, "“The secret to unleashing your true power is setting goals that are exciting enough that they truly inspire your creativity and ignite your passion.” I agree with this idea, I LIVE this idea and my clients who reach their weight loss and wellness goals LIVE this idea. It is a beautiful concept but it can be easy to get lost in the implementation of it.
Everyone would like to unleash their true power to achieve the body they dream about! Everyone would like to be creatively inspired and ignite their inner passion to achieve physical health! So why does it seem that many people, maybe even most people, fall short of this desired state?
Weight Loss Surgery is a great tool to help us along the way but something I realized, in the years after WLS as the pounds returned along with unhealthy thinking and calorie choices, was that the part of my body that REALLY needed surgery was my brain! Surgery changed my ability to use food in a certain way, but I was still left with two hands and a mouth, both programmed by my mind to look for soothing and comfort by lifting things from the fingers to the lips.
WLS doesn't prevent us from continuing to harm ourselves with food. If we don't change our thinking and our beliefs about our lives and the place of food in our lives we will find creative ways to continue to seek comfort through unkindness to the body. How often have you eaten something that you knew would generate "dumping" or vomiting in search of a comforting sensation from food? I know I've done this.
One way to change the trajectory of our relationships with food after surgery is to actually consider with the help of another person what we are trying to achieve when we make unhealthy choices and to set small, achievable goals for slowly, kindly changing our relationships with food. Then, once these small changes are cemented in us we make another small change. After a few months who we ARE has changed. We become a healthier mind inhabiting a healthier body. The key is to start small.
Set an achievable, small goal. Live that goal. Embody it for 3 weeks. Then make the next small change. And talk to someone about your thinking and self-limiting beliefs along the way. That will truly set you free from the post-surgical food and high-calorie liquid addictions that are so common.
The clients I have partnered with have taught me that there is no goal too small and that the achieving of small goals over and over again is how we achieve what Tony Robbins describes......the source of power that exists in every human gets excited, inspired and comes to life with each small success. Then, once success is no longer surprising but is expected, inspiration and creativity arise within us and ignite our passion to create a level of health and wellness beyond our wildest dreams. At that point this journey becomes an "inner and outer party!" But it all starts with making a small change and embodying it for 3 weeks.
My journey to lose 170 pounds and become a mountain climber (with a body people think is that of an Olympic athlete) began with cutting myself down from three 800 calorie Starbuck's drinks per day to three 500 calorie Starbuck's drinks per day......but it started!! That is the important thing! What small behavior would you like to get started changing today and who can help you change it? A Bariatric support group, a therapist or a certified Life Coach specializing in Bariatric Obesity can help you achieve the body and wellness you desire, help shift your beliefs about yourself, and end the struggle with food. Whatever path you choose make sure you have challenges and accountability. They are a recipe for success.

When you release your need to control the actions and moods of others you free yourself to actually show up for you!


LET GO!!
Letting Go doesn't mean you give up.
Letting Go doesn't mean you don't care.
Letting Go simply means you relinquish your struggle to force things to happen a certain way.
You release your struggle to make people behave the way you want them to
(even if you really believe your way is the right way,
it is only the right way for you).
Letting Go means you begin to accept people and situations as they are.
Letting Go means having the courage to give up your idea of what you thought your life was supposed to be
and embrace your life as it is.
In Letting Go you begin to look at the world through kind and compassionate eyes.
You shift from living in the energy of judgement, fear, and frustration to living in the energy of unconditional love and acceptance.
When you Let Go of trying to control things that you cannot, you free yourself to control the one thing you can: YOU.
In Letting Go you give yourself the gift of finally
being able to show up for YOU!
Affirmations:
In releasing my need to control I set myself free!
The only thing I can control are my
thoughts, feelings, and actions...
Wow, that means I get to control how I experience my life!!
AWESOME!
When I stop trying to control others, I actually have the time and energy to take care of me!
Live in love,
Louisa
www.liveyourhighestgood.com
www.louisalatela.com
856.429.9799

Being single just as being in a relationship is a lifestyle choice, but what happens when you are tired of being single with no apparent relationship in sight? Do you become depressed, find yourself eating more and feeling like a loser? If you answer yes, then it’s time to re-think and renovate how you think about your status of single.



A relationship is a lifestyle, not a destination. Being single is a lifestyle too, not a destination.
Quit putting off living and doing the things you want until you find someone.
Live in a place you love. Why wait to have the place of your dreams? This is an opportunity to have the type of furniture and décor you want. If you like eating off china, eat off china.
Travel and learn. There are many single travel groups and you will get a diverse world view when you travel with others. Who knows, you may end up making a great friend.
Immerse yourself into a project or a cause that is meaningful to you. The great thing about being single is you don't have to be accountable to anyone else. Doing what makes you feel good about who you are is a mood elevator. You won't have time to focus on what you don't have if you focus on all you have to do.
Dress in clothes that flatter you, and make you feel good about being you. When you're single there is no one you have to impress, which ironically impresses others due to your independence.
Explore your faith. There is never a more opportune time to mediate, read and pray. If you aren't solid in your faith, improving the relationship you have with your faith will improve many other areas of your life.

Stop moping and get re-involved with your life and your single lifestyle. Relationships are built on great friendships and great relationships begin with liking yourself in your current lifestyle.