To be desired again

[gowalking 10,790]

I post about all kinds of things on this forum knowing that if I'm feeling them, or experiencing them, so are others. So..I don't feel that I can leave out the fact that I've begun dating again. Scary stuff...and especially as I'm right in the middle of body image issues, and this brings up rejection issues, and control issues for me. I feel like I'm walking in a field of landmines. Talk about being vulnerable...sheesh.

So last night, the fella I've been dating for a couple of months is coming to my apartment. My train is late and I get home and text him to find out if he's on his way. Turns out he's already waiting for me and comes up a couple of minutes later. I'm still in my work clothes..which happens to be a very handsome dress in a rust/coral color and he stares at me and says that I look fantastic in that dress and the only thing that would look better is if I was out of that dress..lol.

It's been such a long time since anyone has shown that kind of attention to me. I'm not a kid so no worries about being swept off my feet by a few choice words but it none the less, warmed my heart to know that someone wanted me again. Desired me again. I must be somewhat attractive for an older and somewhat wrinkly old broad.

I feel like I'm on a high today in the office. This was not on my radar. My WLS was to allow me to walk without pain and to get my mobility back. That was the plan. This romance stuff has been a really nice addition to the mix. Yes, I know putting myself out there is risky but right now I'm enjoying it and I hope to keep on enjoying it. If it's vanity, well so be it. I think I deserve a little vanity after all I've been through. I'm so happy to know that I don't have any surgeries coming up in 2015. That sentence alone tells you some of what I've been through.

So friends...back to my conference call. Break's over. Have a great rest of the day everyone!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

confidence is sexy.....and it shows (clothes or without)

you deserve every bit of happiness

Edited November 18, 2014 by ☠carolinagirl☠

[lisacaron 5,075]

@gowalking@☠carolinagirl☠ I echo those comments LOUD and Proud!!! "confidence is sexy.....and it shows (clothes or without) you deserve every bit of happiness"

Life is meant to be enjoyed and Liz my NYC pal I am so happy to read about all the wonderful things that you are experiencing in life!!!

I think I have a contact high....Woooo hooooo!!!!!

[bikrchk 1,313]

I've had very much the same experience only sounds like mines moved a bit faster which was scary as hell! I went from this body dismorphic late 40s divorcee to the very obvious object of desire in what felt like a hot minute! It was a few weeks. We've really hit it off and I LIKE this one. Kinda scary to be in this vulnerable position where where we can get hurt huh? This is the second guy I've dated (out of probably 50 in the last 6 months, yeah, I was going for volume, heh) that I LIKE. The first one broke me a little. But I finally decided that I wasn't going to remain "shut down" for safety anymore. It's a good thing. Feel like a teenager again! Feel like I'm growing. It's easy to hide behind all that extra weight and use it to shut people out but look what we were missing! It's good to feel strong enough to take a risk!

[Garifab_VSG 122]

Awesome post! I am married, however, I honestly don't think that matters in wanting to feel desired by your spouse AND others. If a cashier or gas station attendant or someone I pass in the street happens to look twice, or wink, or whatever -- that's the stuff that natural highs are made of, and I want 'em!!!

[Elode 8,093]

Stella got her groove back!!! Ha! Good for you! You enjoy every bit of it I'm sure it's well deserved!

[SillyAuntDi 1,610]

Girlfriend!!! I am so with you on this! The first guy that I semi-seriously dated this summer kept telling me how hot I was. I just laughed. But it made me feel good. I hadn't been told that in so long! He did make me feel desirable and beautiful. And when he flaked out on me, I was tempted to shut down. But I realized that I wanted more of that feeling The guy I've been seeing for a few weeks now gives me that feeling. He smiles when he sees me. I smile when I see him...it's fun and exciting and terrifying all at the same time!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I just love this thread.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Even us wrinkly old broads appreciate a man with slow hands and an easy touch. Congratulations you sexy thing!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

@@Miss Mac, I saw what you did there.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

I love those moldy oldies from days gone by!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Enjoy it all! You DO deserve every bit of happiness in any shape or form.

I post about all kinds of things on this forum knowing that if I'm feeling them, or experiencing them, so are others. So..I don't feel that I can leave out the fact that I've begun dating again. Scary stuff...and especially as I'm right in the middle of body image issues, and this brings up rejection issues, and control issues for me. I feel like I'm walking in a field of landmines. Talk about being vulnerable...sheesh.

So last night, the fella I've been dating for a couple of months is coming to my apartment. My train is late and I get home and text him to find out if he's on his way. Turns out he's already waiting for me and comes up a couple of minutes later. I'm still in my work clothes..which happens to be a very handsome dress in a rust/coral color and he stares at me and says that I look fantastic in that dress and the only thing that would look better is if I was out of that dress..lol.

It's been such a long time since anyone has shown that kind of attention to me. I'm not a kid so no worries about being swept off my feet by a few choice words but it none the less, warmed my heart to know that someone wanted me again. Desired me again. I must be somewhat attractive for an older and somewhat wrinkly old broad.

I feel like I'm on a high today in the office. This was not on my radar. My WLS was to allow me to walk without pain and to get my mobility back. That was the plan. This romance stuff has been a really nice addition to the mix. Yes, I know putting myself out there is risky but right now I'm enjoying it and I hope to keep on enjoying it. If it's vanity, well so be it. I think I deserve a little vanity after all I've been through. I'm so happy to know that I don't have any surgeries coming up in 2015. That sentence alone tells you some of what I've been through.

So friends...back to my conference call. Break's over. Have a great rest of the day everyone!

[finediva 979]

@@Miss Mac you naughty girl! Old wrinkly broads don't say such things! So you just gave yourself away. Obviously you are NOT an old wrinkly broad.

[finediva 979]

@gowalking. Good for you. Hoping you'll have many more days where you'll be feeling like you are on a high.

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

I haven't dated in so long, I don't even know how to meet anyone anymore. Any tips on THAT would be really helpful.

I put off dating to raise my kids, then I put off dating to finish college, then I put off dating to have & recover from a boatload of (non-elective) surgeries. I realized there's always something to put off dating for...

but now there's not really a good reason. I feel ready but have no clue how to meet a good, respectable man.

Clarification: I've had a lot of 1st dates, a couple 2nd & third along the way, but wasn't ready to date 'seriously'. I had a couple bad experiences dating after my marriage ended. Wanted to get to know ME well enough to be a good "I'm interested in him" picker.

So now I'm ready, but frozen, like a deer in headlights without a clue where to go

50 dates in a couple months? wow I wouldn't even know how people can 'connect' that many times to go on a date. Did they all ask you out? I like the man to do the asking but ... none have. I need to get out more, that's a good 1st step- but where? lol

And what's the get it started protocol these days?