Complications....so broken and sadden

[boojak2003 24]

as im writing this i am uncontrollably crying. I had gastric sleeve surgury on 8/25. I was fine the first week, the second week i noticed I had lots of gas pain...so i thought...then i thought it was Constipation. Called the nurse at the office and she gave me more pain meds and told me to take a mirilax. After i did all that I did feel better, but my upper left side of stomach still was hurting. I also felt that i couldn't drink enough so I felt dehydrated. So on 9/7 I went tot he hospital. I was admitted once they did a CT scan and found an infection and abcess with a small leak. I was then rushed to surgury and admitted to the hospital. I had a horrible time at the first hospital I was at because the nursing staff seemed to not know how to do anything. They even had me miss a dose of antibiotics. I got a PICC line and was told that my white blood cell count is high and needed to come down to normal range. Throughout the week, things only got worst. Finally on that friday my doctors wanted to transfer me to another hospital in case they needed to put in a stent. I went there and everything was seemed to turn around. On that saturday, I got a CT assisted procedure where they sucked out the bad stuff in my abcess and put in another drain. Afterwards my white blood cell count decreased and I felt better. Well Im home now with 2 drains, a PICC line, and TPN and 5 days with of antibiotics.

Im so sad and hurt because I don't know what to do. Im so scared this is going to go on for months. I'm only 29 years old. I look at all these boxes of medicine and I break down crying. And the thing about is is that I did it to myself. I was pefectly healthy. I was 297 lbs, but i was active. I have faith in God that he will bring me through this and take care of everything. Its just so hard right now. I am out of work, I can't bathe myself, or even comb my hair. And my poor fiance. He is hanging in there with me and supporting me. He helps me do everything while still working. I just cry everything I think about what I did to him. I love him so much and i never wanted this for him. He was fine with me, he just wanted me healthy and thats all. Not a certain size or anything. I did this because I couldn't control myself and displine myself to stay in a healthy lifestyle on my own. I didn't think it would be easy, but I didn't think it would be like this. I am sooooo scared.

i have an appointment on monday for a swallow study (don't know what that is), then an appointment with my surgeon the next day. I pray that everything goes well. I don't know how much I can take of this.

Has anyone went through something like this?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Whoa! You have had some bad luck. And I can absolutely understand how you are feeling and why you're feeling that way.

I don't speak from personal experience, but there are people here who've also had leaks and recovered from them. It seems that your leak was caught relatively early on -- and that's the important thing to focus on.

I hope they'll chime in and give you their stories and how they went on to conquer their initial setbacks. But in the meantime, you can use the search function here to find and read some of their stories.

I hope you can find a path toward some optimism, because that would make your recovery easier. Maybe you could focus on all the things about the identification and treatment of your leak that were done correctly and from which you benefited?

(By the above I'm not trying to negate your need to express your actual feelings right now. I wish you all the best as you continue to recover from your leak and its repair.)

[WL WARRIOR 690]

I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain. I hope it all turns around soon. I will be getting the sleeve in two weeks. Were there any warning signs early on? I am glad you have your fiance to help you. My biggest fear is having complications similar to yours because I really don't have anyone to help me out.

[finediva 979]

Hello my love. So, so sorry about your current experience with the surgery. First, the swallow test>>>you will drink some special kind of liquid and a scan will be done to see how it moves through your system>>sleeve>>. I had one done the day after my surgery and most people get some form of it done also. Some doctors do it during the surgery. I hope all of this clears up soon and you can be on your way to a full recovery. You seem really worried about your fiance, but you also stated he is being supportive. Try not to worry too much about him right now and instead focus all your energy on your healing and recovery moving forward. With excellent medical care and attention, your medical team will see you through this. Hopefully soon things will turn around and you will begin to feel differently about your decision. I know it's tough to do so now. Blessings.

[utahgirll 81]

Sending prayers and positive thots your way,dear. Others have had this happen.. And made it through.. U can 2. Please stay here with us and feel free to write your feelings and experiences. So glad they caught it early. I wish i could help u in person. Sending u hugs and moral support... Tristan

[Miss Mac 6,261]

One of my daughters is a traveling home health occupational therapist, who helps people adjust and relearn skills after a severe health issue or dibilitating accident. She was a big help after I had a stroke in 2010, and one of my biggest issues was not that I had health problems to address, but that I had dependance issues to address. In my impatience to recover, I did not want to be a burden to my boyfriend whom I had just moved in with one week prior. I felt that he did not deserve to have to work 12 hour days and then come home and be a nurse to me.

I read from your post that in addition to your concern about healing your physical body, you are worried beyond consolation that you are becoming a burden to him. However, I also see that he cares for you deeply and really doesn't mind at all to be your rock through this whole process. It also appears that, were the tables of fate turned to where he needed you more than ever to care for him through a despairing setback, you would support him with all the love you can give.

When you have you wedding and come to the part where you vow to love each other "in sickness and in health" you will feel that little tug on your heartstrings because you know from experience what that really means.

Your doctors can get you through your medical healing, but you need to let go of your independance long enough to let your fiance provide you the peace of mind that you need so much right now. I wish you good luck, and good health, and a long and happy marriage.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Hi;

I know exactly how you are feeling. No one really knows unless they go through it all. They can show compassion but they don't know really! We are groomed to think that it is going to be a piece of cake ( sorry ) And to a lot it is. But some of us like you like me and some others on here and people I have had experience with have to see things in a different way.

We have to look at everything moment to moment. Day to day, week to week and believe and trust the team that got us this far. Talking to those who have had complications is a way to see that you are not alone. I am out almost 2 years outand still suffer from complications. But I take it one thing at a time. I also concentrate on why I did this and like you said you were healthy. I was too sorta. But I knew it would not be long before I was not.

When the complications started I was unaware of anything much until I came out of a 19 day coma. Then the battle really began. Each day I feel a little different and a little better. Each day I do not second guess why I did this because I already knew why I did this. ( To live a better healthier life style and be around for my grand daughter

It did not go the way I dreamed it would and although the surgeon made me say I could die from this surgery I really did not believe it. Hind sight is 20/20 for us all.

My advice to you if I can give it is to not look at the big picture. Handle it one day at a time. Write down the reasons you chose to do this for you and your family and mark all the changes good that happen to you as you travel this rocky road to fitness and health.

This Wed. I have yet another scope and they want to see if my abscess is healed over from the ulcer and leak I got at 18 months out. Here is hoping for good news.

The million dollar question is whether I would do this again and the answer is yes!!!!!!!!! My life has changes for the better even with all the complications. I can go anywhere. Do anything. Walk for hours and stand for ever. I can sit in a plane seat and don't have to use the big wheel chair at the hospital. i can bend down and tie my own shoes and hold my grand daughter so tight to me that she says I squeeze her too tight....I love it.

I would not trade it for anything. Saying that does not help the moment you are in right now. Right now you are frightened and scared and worried for you and for your loved ones. I understand that all to well. But I want you to know that this is going to make you a different person. Not only in health but also personally it will change you and make you a more tolerant and caring person. You will reach out to others and help them understand that you had to do this no matter the cost. You have not lost your life over it. Others have you know. That does not make it easier but it does help. You see that you are still alive and closer to the goals you set for yourself.

You must be your own champion and do research on what they are going to do next. Ask questions, hundreds of them if you need to until you feel safer.

You will get better and this will pass. But you must calm yourself and let it happen so that you can feel the differences as they happen. Cry if you must but you have to pick your attitude back up. Way up as that is 50 percent of the chance of improvement.

If you need to talk to me. PM me and we can make arrangements. I have done this before for other people on this forum. I am not saying I have all the answers but I know where you are and where you are coming from. We can talk whenever you want.

Jane

hug your fiance tight and tell him this is going to be a bumpy ride but worth it okay!

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Well said.

[boojak2003 24]

thank yall so much for the words of encouragement. i hope one day i can set back and say this was all worth it. I'm really just depressed and sad but I will be okay. I am just looking forward to tuesday so i can see where I'm at with this situation.I really don't think I should have came home from the hospital. I probably should have stayed til the leak study. At least I wasn't depressed.

But I'm here so I guess I will try to stay positive

[finediva 979]

@boojak2003. Was it your choice to leave the hospital? Did they want you to stay or gave you a choice?

[IncredibleShrinkingViolet 22]

Hang in there and just keep doing what you need to in order to get better. I was on TPN (feeding tube) for three months, after 5 weeks in the hospital. It helps to do what you can to feel better in the interim; play your favorite music, have a manicure, put your mind in your favorite place and allow people to help you (that was hard for me!).

It's hard to believe right now, but it will get better. Nurses told me I would look back on it as a mountain to climb, but when it's over, you will go on to better times. I didn't believe them at the time, but they were right.

Remember, this is a temporary affliction and you are fortunate they caught it before you became septic! sleep and rest right now will help you heal and make sure to get the Protein you need for that, too. You can do this!

[swimbikerun 1,038]

I am so very sorry to see you went thru all this. I went thru my own stuff and then didn't have a supportive surgeon and he dropped me later on. Apparently I hear he's also saying items that are not on medical record and that concerns me also.

I know its bad and whatever I can do to help and cheer you I will. I have a supportive system here that and that it made things better. Now I fight because the truth about after care and how some doctors and groups are, people should know about so they can make an educated & informed decision on what they want.

[boojak2003 24]

they told me I could go home...i wasn't siked (my fiance was)...they didn't really ask me but told me i was getting discharged.

[ImOnMyWay61 55]

My thoughts are with you sweetie. I hope everything gets better for you soon. I was told that this could happen. It sounds to me that you were listening to your own body and got help fairly quickly. Great job in knowing something was wrong. As for your fiance, he must love you very much. He is a great support system. I am sure the two of you will be just fine. Look toward the future, you may have done this to yourself, but you will be happy in the end. I want to hear how you are doing, so keep us posted

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

they told me I could go home...i wasn't siked (my fiance was)...they didn't really ask me but told me i was getting discharged.

Keep a close eye on your temperature and if you feel pain in the left side under your ribs. Also tight tummy. Okay! If your temp goes up go to the ER okay!