ok.. not to get too personal here. but I have always had insecurities about my body. lately when my husband and I are intimate.. i am disgusted with myself...and only because i feel the fat getting in the way. i know he is completely comfortable with my body.. but it's how i feel in certain positions.. with that said, it's getting old for my hubby.. and i don't blame him. I feel like i lost all sex drive. i ALWAYS have a reason why I can't be intimate. and it always seems to be fat related. so my question is, will this weight loss help the sex drive? get the hormones flowing? i know we are all different. but i wasn't always like this...as i gained weight.. i lost the drive. I need to get the hormones flowing... my husband deserves it.

any advise?

thanks!!

Since my weight loss I have noticed a major decrease in my libido. I do not initiate it myself, if hubby does then fine. But it’s not on the top of my list of things to do.

My doctor says the body goes into shock with major weight loss and that everyone’s body reacts differently. I lost me some libido and hair.

Since my weight loss I have noticed a major decrease in my libido. I do not initiate it myself, if hubby does then fine. But it’s not on the top of my list of things to do.

My doctor says the body goes into shock with major weight loss and that everyone’s body reacts differently. I lost me some libido and hair.

WOW, i was totally expecting a different response.. was kindove hoping it increases.. hhaah. if you don't mind me asking.. is there a lot of loose skin? and do you feel more insecure about that then prior to the surgery?

sorry to hear about your libido and hair loss..

i am a man my sex drive is always high

My sex drive has increased since I started losing weight and I think that has a lot to do with feeling comfortable and confident...I'm not even half-way there with my weight loss but I feel much more comfortable while intimate with my hubby. And for that I think he loves my band as much as I do :thumbup:

Lien -- aaaaaaand what are you doing in the powder room???? hmmmmm? hahahah it's a given no matter what weight..men have an endless sex drive. lol :sneaky:

Rafa2- thanks for something to look forward to. i think i will feel the same. regardless of an saggy skin or whatnot. atleast i won't feel like a balloon. lol. and that will make my hubby love the band as well.. he thinks i still won't be confident cause of extra skin. i don't think the skin will be that bad.. who knows. :thumbup:

THANKS!!

We always had amazing sex.

We noticed it was better when we lost weight.

But I don't think we knew exactly how much better it had gotten until we both regained some weight.

We're losing again - we want that back!

I am down 66lbs and it seems the more I lose the more my sex drive is just not there. One would expect it to be higher since the weight is gone but its not. Im glad I ran into this thread cause I thought I was the only one! It's weird I felt more comfortable being at my highest weight of 322 and now being 256 I am constantly criticizing myself. Does anyone else relate to this. I am very happy that I have lost so much weight I couldnt be more elated. I just wish my sex drive would arise from the dead and make me and my husband a little bit happier.:scared2:

Dragonfly,

I'm 50 and I have to say that the weight loss makes me feel 35 again!!! Hell yeah it made sex better!!! I'm more flexible. I can reach "places" I couldn't reach for years. I don't have the arthritic aches and pains I had before, I'm more relaxed and comfortable with myself, My husband is more turned on, and more frequently. I feel sexy again and have even started buying lingerie again. I even got a couple things at Victoria's Secret. So much for feeling old. LOL I feel better about myself, have better self esteem, am more confident in everything. My job, my relationships, my image... and it shows. At 50, I expected to have a bit of a skin issue, but I have to say it's not as bad as I thought it would be. that's one reason I went with the LapBand instead of RNY. The slower the loss, the better the skin fares.

I definitely relate and I have a theory....

At higher weights, I was more comfortable because I wasn't looking. I wasn't paying as much attention to what was going on with my body. Now that I'm losing, I'm checking out my body, looking at all of its different parts, figuring it all out. I'm looking. And in looking, there is discomfort.

That's my theory, anyway.

It's weird I felt more comfortable being at my highest weight of 322 and now being 256 I am constantly criticizing myself. Does anyone else relate to this.

I can SO agree with the feeling of discomfort now that I have lost weight. I critisize EVERY part of my body now. I believe it has everything to do with, when I was heavy I consentrated on my makeup & hair (shoulders up). Now that I am thinner, I look at everything and find myself thinking, "geeze, I have big thighs or a loose tummy". I have considered going to a shrink to find my self acceptance again... I just hope it goes away when I get to goal.

As for the sex life. Gosh yes it gets better!!! I am 24 and completely lost my drive with my husband the fatter I got. Now that I am smaller than when he met me, I feel like we first met again. It is great & I am sure you will be the same!:confused:

As my weight has dropped, my confidence has soared and the sex is definitely better. Now, keep in mind, it isn't because my body looks great. I have lost over 90 lbs, it is smaller, but can not possibly look fantastic naked. BUT, the confidence I feel everyday definitely makes its way into the bedroom.:confused:

There's possibly more going on then just weight loss. Hormonal imbalance & your relationship might play a factor. For me, I had a hysterectomy 10 months after my lap band surgery because of a prolapsed uterus. My uterus put some much pressure on me down there that I was always "ready to go." HOWEVER, the surgery, although making thinks better, also took so much of my drive away. I'm on hormones now. If you are secure in your relationship then maybe try flirting - its a sure fire way for me!

I am also much happier in the bedroom. My favorite part is that my DH is much more interested!!!

I am down 66lbs and it seems the more I lose the more my sex drive is just not there. One would expect it to be higher since the weight is gone but its not. Im glad I ran into this thread cause I thought I was the only one!

You and me both. I am down about 65 pounds and have ZERO drive. I sometimes wonder if it will ever return. I honestly don't ever think about sex ever and DH is getting a little frustrated. I have to wonder if it's my age. I'm on the fast road to 40. I'm not even attracted to other men, not even the really good looking ones. I have issues, I know. lol.

My hubby doesnt want me to have the band, he doesnt think I need it and utterly loves all my lumps, bumps and wobbly bits just as they are.

Which means we have a really good sex life, because we both fancy the pants of each other and are happy with how the other person looks naked.

So I dont think a band would increase our libido as such because it's already pretty high, but I think for me it will make me feel a whole heap sexier so perhaps it will up mine a bit more? Poor hubby, he's already knackered before work!