Not banded yet & already got discouraged...

[mom2trips06 0]

I was debating whether to post this yesterday but today I feel the same. I am normally a VERY positive person - I make most of my friends annoyed seeing the positive in anything I can. I went in for my pre-op testing. After sitting through all of pre-op testing stuff I started to feel very discouraged.

Here's why:

Self disappointment - I know exactly what to do without the band. The dietician sat there explaining how to eat - normal food, normal portions after we have our bands. At first I was all for it then I started getting down on myself thinking.. 'you have a great life, perfect babies but you just can't stop eating! Now you have to get surgery to control yourself.' I was pretty disgusted with myself to say the least!

I'm almost doubting my choice and wonder if I should cancel my surgery? :tongue2:

I keep telling myself I'm not alone and someone out there felt this way. Any encouraging words would help immensely...

[greytz 4]

I don't think there is hardly a person out there who hasn't felt the same way. I kept thinking when I lost a little pre-op weight, well, why can't I do this all the time without the band? It entirely depends on your eating habits in my opinion. I turned to food for comfort and out of boredom. However, I looked at the surgery as a minor inconvenience for a Lifetime of Committment. I have the band simply as a tool to help me on my path to "Food Recovery". I also thought to myself pre-surgery, do I really want to go under general anesthesia for this? I have had a lot of medical problems recently (heart) and I have had to undergo several catheters and surgeries that put me under local and general anesthesia. I decided to look at this like any other disease or health condition. I have not hesitated to go under for those things so why was I hesitating to go under for the most important health tool of all? That was what helped me make my decsision. I was banded on 06-17-09 and I am very glad I made the decision. I have lost 17lbs. so far and have my first fill on 07-07-09. I can't wait. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

[greytz 4]

Oh. I too am a very upbeat person normally. I don't let too much get me down. I have had a lot of trials in the last year. I was forced to retire due to my health condition. That seems like a good thing but I was a workaholic around 100 to 120 hours per week so to just suddenly stop was heartbreaking for me. I couldn't drive for many, many months either and that was hard too. I still can't sometimes depending on my condition. It was difficult and then to undergo the band wasn't something I was totally sure of until I found the right surgeon. She and her staff made it all good and positive. It was a great experience and they support me all the time.

[Portola Suzanne 3]

My heart goes out to you, I know I thought about why I was doing this when I was so good about sticking to the liquid part of the process. But I know the reason for me is of course I can stick to a plan for a while and have lost a million pounds again and again. The point is I never keep it off and this time I will because of my friend the band.

[Grandma26 1]

Hey !! Don't be so hard on yourself. Stopping eating is a hard thing and sometimes in our lives we all need a little help.

I had similar feelings as you, but I decided that I needed help. I know the band isn't magic and I still need to work hard at losing, so I feel being banded and loosing weight isn't a walk in the park for any of us. We still have to work hard.

Only you can make the decision to be banded or not, I for one and glad I did. I didn't tell anyone but my DH, not because I didn't want to hear what they have to say, but because I was embarrased that I couldn't do it on my own. I am over that now. We all need help now and again. Be good to yourself and do what's best for you, not what you think you "should" be able to do.

Hugs to you and good luck!!!

Edited July 2, 2009 by Grandma26

[Rutiglius 0]

I had the same thoughts until I attended the information seminar before my surgery. The Dr. giving the seminar explained that once your body reaches a certain weight, it becomes greedy and does not want to lose its protective fat. This goes back in time to when humans had to constantly hunt and forage in order to survive. The body thinks the fat is a precious commodity that will protect against starvation. The only problem is, we don't need to hoard fat anymore to stave off starvation.

The body doesn't know this, however, and when we begin to lose weight, the body actually secretes a hormone that increases food-seeking behavior. It makes you hungry, makes you crave things and food dominates your thoughts. This hormone is called ghrelin and it is produced in the stomach (google it for some good info).

As this doctor stated, many doctors and GPs don't study weight loss specifically, and don't understand how ghrelin works within overweight individuals.

The lap band does NOT cause an increase in ghrelin (accordiing to studies) and thus helps you avoid the constant cravings and food-seeking behaviors that have sabotaged previous weight-loss attempts.

SO...DON'T feel guilty! Your own body is conspiring against you!

Edited July 3, 2009 by Rutiglius

[blklab70 1]

I believe we have all been there. You are still very young and I know exactly how you feel cause I did too. Being young you can do it alone, but can you stay with it? I kept thinking I am losing so well before my surgery that I did not need it. Well, how many times have I said that to myself and then I would lose a pound or two and get a little lax with my eating and pretty soon everything I had lost was back and then some. For me, I wish I would have done this months or years before my 10 Feb 2009 surgery. If you are uncertain, then maybe you should not do it. But for those of us who can admit we needed extra help, this was the answer to so many prayers. I am only down 55 pounds at this point, but I find it much easier to move and to play with my grandkids. For me,it was the best thing I have ever done for my health. Good luck, keep researching till you are comfortable and keep us all posted.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I don't think many (any?) of us get the band without trying the diet/exercise route. Some of us have done ALMOST every diet known to man. I had a WONDERFUL doc once (loved that man) give me a new perspective about 15 years ago when I was literally in tears at my weight (then 290) I said "I just feel like such a failure. I'm smart, I'm accomplished, but I can't ever seem to get a grip on my weight. What is wrong with me? I'm useless". He grabbed my shoulders (!) and looked me dead in the eye and said "You are in a war for your life. You're fighting your body, your chemistry, for your very existence. Nature is on the side of your body...BUT you have won many many skirmishes in the war and you must NEVER give up." WOW.

The lap band, as I see it, is a tool. Would you berate yourself for losing weight "only if you diet"? NO. Would you berate yourself for exercising? NO. Would you say "But my friend never diets and exercises and SHE is skinny?" Maybe, but only to whine a little! LOL You wouldn't think you had be BE like her.

SO you need the band. Big woo. Lots of people need it (or SOMETHING) and don't ever get it. You are smart. You are getting more weapons to put in your arsenal for this war you're in. Don't feel guilty. If diet and exercise worked (and the percentage who do lose and keep it off that way is excruciatingly small) no one would be fat.

[blklab70 1]

RM, that is so totally cool! You had a wonderful doctor who cared about you not just you being a paying patient. Wonderful words for all of us to live by. Thanks!

[davidsmom08 0]

I think how you are feeling is very natural. I too felt the same way throughout my journey to get banded...many family members took notice that I had lost 20 lbs in my pre-op diet and tried to convince me I didn't need it, but I can tell you in the 2 weeks that I have been banded I DID need it to help me in my desire for a healthy happy me. I have a 4 yr old son and I want him to be able to enjoy the best part of me. It's so hard to get control of your love of starches when your are cooking for a family. I now eat off of a salad plate after dinner and I am stuffed. I eat 3 times a day and really so far have no desire to snack in between meals...even while my co-worker sitting right next to me is eating chip, Cookies, and candy...that in itself is AMAZING to me. Only you can decide what is best for you....for me I am addicted to carbs...I was in denial for a very long time but the band is a great tool to help with that addiction so I am going to embrace it...your not alone we are all here for you!

[mom2trips06 0]

Oh my gosh you guys!!! I cannot say how grateful I am for your posts. Your encouraging words help me so much. I really needed to come home and read through these posts after my serving job tonight - there is a lady I consider my friend that said to co-worker (when she asked me why I have to have this surgery) "she doesn't want to diet and exercise". It crushed me even more for a second then I stuck up for myself. I told her that she has no idea what it feels like and I am admitting that I need help. I really do. I've been over 200 lbs since I was 18 yrs old. I keep reminding myself that I have 3 - 2 yr olds that need their mommy at her best!!!

Thanks everyone!!!

[jodonnell 0]

I understand! Ive had people tell me that I'm doing this the "easy way out" or losing weight the "lazy way" and it annoys the heck out of me.

Looks like we are having surgery the same time (pretty much---mine is the day after yours).

[blklab70 1]

My boss who is near 400 said it was the easy way! LOL They have no idea that this is not in any way easy, it is a tool, just a tool. When I hear that I just laugh to myself and bruch it off as ignorance on their part. The hardest thing we humans have to do it ignore what people say. How cares? We have eachother here to share, cry, praise with. We don't need to take uneductated persons opinions! So, you go girl. It is a wonderful journey you are taking along with all of us here who are your friends on a mission!

[Rutiglius 0]

My boss who is near 400 said it was the easy way! QUOTE]

Even though the band is not as easy as the "unbanded" think -- what's wrong with doing it the easy way? Is something only valuable if you try and fail numerous times? Sheesh!:eek:

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Hearkening back to our Puritan or "Protestant Work Ethic" roots, for many old school types,(not everyone comes from protestants or puritans ok? not saying that LOL ) fat is a sin, fat is gluttony, fat is a character flaw, and to lose weight without working or struggling is wrong.

I don't think the ideation is quite that strong or straightforward, but it is all tied in. Fat people are lazy. To get thin we have to work to earn it. (uh huh) Assinine as it is, that used to be the prevailing attitude, even among the medical professionals.

Attitudes have changed a lot but some old prejudices linger. And some people just say that because THEY have heard it over and over.