I will have had my band for a month on the 5th. I've done excellent on my eating and pretty good on my working out up until last Saturday and Sunday. I tried to get back on track yesterday. I did okay, but didn't exercise.

I'm beginning to feel like life with the band is too hard. Finding the right things to eat, getting enough to eat, making time to exercise. It's making me very upset.

I get my first fill next week, and honestly I'm really scared about how I'm going to handle it.

My Mom recently asked me if I thought my band cost me too much. I asked her what she meant and she said "it seems you've lost your relationship with your best friend (which is likely true), and you're having to totally change what your eating and how you're living your life".

Up until now I was really loving my band and feeling really positive, but now I'm feeling really frustrated. Not to mention that last Thursday I supposedly gained 1.8 pounds back from the 9 I had lost - if that's even accurate.

Has anyone had a similar experience to this or can help me?

Lindsey,

I think being discouraged is typical and I think you are just worried about the changes that are going to be happening in your life.

I felt bad for my husband, because especially at first when I was on a liquid/mushy food diet, he "lost" his eating partner. Once you are back on real food, socially things should get better. Reach out to your best friend and make sure she understands that just because you made this life changing decision, your relationship is the same. The price of this surgery does not have to be about loosing friends!!!

YES this is a life changing event. I am new to this too, but these changes that we are going to make are for the best! Just think you will have more energy and feel so much better once you get to the top of the mountan that we are climbing.

Take care and as we say here in Seattle:

"keep smiling at the rain"

p

Sometimes we all feel like that, I think the loss doesn't come any where near the gain. Just hang in there. Why would you lose your best friend? If they're a true friend they will stand by you.

It's all in how you view it. I know I panicked the day I was having surgery wondering if I was making the right decision. My boyfriend told me- "It took you months to get here, and you could have backed out a billion times before this- but you didn't- which means you know in your heart you're doing the right thing."

So I say to you the same thing- you knew what you were getting into, you know in your heart it's the right thing for you. It's for your health. Think of all the reasons that made you choose to do the band to begin with- focus on that. Everyone is a critic and unfortunately not everyone understands why you made this decision, but you can't allow that to deter you from your personal goal and reasons. The band is a tool, not a solution, it's going to be difficult and there are still going to be struggles, but if you keep your focus you WILL succeed like so many of us.

Good luck!!

"...and you're having to totally change what your eating and how you're living your life".

Of course!! That's the whole reason for the band to begin with. That means you're on the right track! :thumbup:

I thought she meant food by her best friend? I could be way off though.

In the end its about what is more important because you do lose some things. For me, I just couldn't stand feeling as poorly as I did and knowing it was only going to get worse. I already miss the solace I found in food. It wasn't a healthy relationship though.

Lindsay

The jury is still out. Give this some time to reap all of the benefits :thumbup: Sure in the beginning this is going to be hard. Keep up the good work and focus on all the good things.

Keep on trucking!

Lindsay,

Things will get better after you get some fills. I think we all understand how food can be comforting like a friend but it's time for us to put our health and relationships with family and real friends first!

Band life is an adjustment. Believe me, it's not easy but, we're worth it!!!

We were both banded about the same time (I was the 28th of May) and I understand how you feel. I think what you are going through is a major adjustment to a different life, but it can be an awesome life! This is part of bandster hell, the period between surgery where you are healing before your first fill, where it is impossible to follow all the rules. Dont let it get you down, this will get better and once you have your first fill you should start seeing more results. As for weight gain we are all going up and down as we heal, some days water weight some days a bit too many calories, but it is a learning experience and once you get it figured out you will be stronger. Hang in there you are doing great.

Just remember that you've got a new way of life. Things that you have to think about now will become automatic. It's like learning any new skill -- remember when you learned a new program on the computer? You'll get it. Good luck. :thumbup:

Well, yeah, but I embraced the changes. I didnt want to be the lazy person sitting round on the couch stuffing my face any more.

So although it was VERY hard to change the habits of so many years, I truly wanted to do it. I got a gret thrill and sense of achievement out of changing myself in that way. It wasnt easy, but nothing worthwhile really is, is it?

The way I saw it (and this was my "A-Ha" moment that convinced me to have the surgery - I could have a band or not, but either way I had to give myself a complete and permanent personality change if I was going to ever lose this weight.

Because our habits and daily actions are all about the way we look at things. That's what's got to change. It's scary to contemplate but it must be done, surgery or not, if you are ever going to lose weight.

once you adjust,you will be fine...its a learning curve for all of us but you will be fine.What you are feeling,we all have felt that at one stage or another.

Hang in there,once you reach you sweet spot and start to see the results,you will love it.

Hang in there! You will feel this way many times during your journey. At the beginning it is rough because everything you are doing is new!

This is a lifestyle change and it will be rough, just keep your eye on your new future and all that it will bring you. I am almost one year out and still sometimes scream to take the band out and just let me eat! Argh, and then I am over it and go about my day and I am thankful that I have lost the weight and I am active and healthy!

Hang tough, you will get through this!

Everyone's experience is different. My doc told me, way back at the start, that the goal would be for me to be able to eat ANYTHING post band that I had eaten pre-band, but that I'd eat less and be satisfied longer.

Low and behold, that's exactly how it has happened for me. I have not found a single food item I cannot eat. I don't choose certain foods because right now I'm going for the maximum nutrient value and length of satiety, but I CAN eat anything.

And at 405 being fat was WAY WAY harder than the band.

Sounds to me like you are, at less than one month out, forgetting that you are in a healing stage. You've forgotten to look ahead. The band isn't for everyone but you thought it was for you; I think you're being too hard on it and on yourself. Give you and your band a chance.

And guess what? If you meant food was your best friend...it was a back-stabbing beotch. It's not a friend, it's just fuel.

As far as I'm concerned, the only thing I've given up is the offer of a seat belt extender on planes, thighs that chafe in the heat, the nudges of other diners when I walk into a buffet restaurant, an inability to make my body move the way I need it to and the possible prospect of losing years off my life.

So as hard as it can be at times to make this change work, I am not going back and I WILL make this work so that my exterior finally reflects everything that I am inside.

You know we work so hard just to get the band that after surgery we think, "ok... I've got the band, let the weight start falling off." And then we're dissappointed to learn that this isn't the way it works.

The first few months after surgery are tough, with most people experiencing bandster hell. But once you achieve satisfactory restriction, learn to make better food choices, and learn what real exercise is all about - victory will be yours.

Those first few months are hell - but it will get better, and you'll look back and know that it was all worth it.

Stay focused!

Brad