Hey guys this is my first post in the 20something group!!

I'm scheduled for banding on 6/24 and unsure of who I want to let in on it.

I've been very outspoken on how proud and happy I am of being a big girl and feel like it could be taken as me flipflopping on the matter.

Any thoughts or personal experiences?

stupid fiances and husbands, see my hubbys bigger then me so I dont get it, he knows what it is to be obese and I think he should be happy and supportive!

argh!

stupid fiances and husbands, see my hubbys bigger then me so I dont get it, he knows what it is to be obese and I think he should be happy and supportive!

argh!

IMO.... he's insecure that you're leaving him behind. When two people are chunky together... and eating together is usually a common bond, there is a comfort there. You are leaving the pack and now he will still be the chunky one, and you're gonna be the skinny one. And..... there is a lot of insecuritites that once you get thin, you may move on. Not saying you will, but it definitely is something that goes on in their mind.

But I think it's more of you leaving the 'club'..

IMO.... he's insecure that you're leaving him behind. When two people are chunky together... and eating together is usually a common bond, there is a comfort there. You are leaving the pack and now he will still be the chunky one, and you're gonna be the skinny one. And..... there is a lot of insecuritites that once you get thin, you may move on. Not saying you will, but it definitely is something that goes on in their mind.

But I think it's more of you leaving the 'club'..

yeah I totally understand this, I have been trying to overcome it by bringing up the positive points that will effect him (dirty things of course) >:thumbup: and giving him lots of love and attention so he knows my love and my thoughts are with him-not on getting skinny and leaving!

At the same time, life post op is gonna be hard if he doesn't change his eating habits as well. He's working on it though.

IMO.... he's insecure that you're leaving him behind. When two people are chunky together... and eating together is usually a common bond, there is a comfort there. You are leaving the pack and now he will still be the chunky one, and you're gonna be the skinny one. And..... there is a lot of insecuritites that once you get thin, you may move on. Not saying you will, but it definitely is something that goes on in their mind.

But I think it's more of you leaving the 'club'..

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. I feel the same way about my sister and am worried what kind of effect it will have on her. For most of my life, she was the skinny one and I was the big one so I know what it feels like to be on the other side, and I'd hate for her to feel that way even if it's not my fault. All I can hope is that it will be a motivation for her and we can work on it together.

My DF is not at all bigger then me, taller, yes, which is why Me being a big fat cow is really hard on him. Because usually the pattern is when your happy & comfortable with someone you usually gain weight, I'm the opposite. and then we moved in together, and I started gaining out of nowhere a few lbs here and there, then I had a miscarriage, and thats where my weight went and ballooned. And that is why I'm now here because it was getting to the point where he was miserable, I was miserable and almost immobile, and if not only for myself, but My son, and my relationship. When your kid gets teased in school by other classmates that his mom is fat, thats when you get off your ass and do something.

I told most of my friends and family before surgery. but I didn't really tell people at work I didn't think it was any of their bussiness and what if I failed. I didn't want people expecting me to loose a bunch of weight overnight. Now that I'm only 35lbs away from my goal I'm debating on telling EVERYONE! hahaha I keep playing with the idea but I'm still afraid that people will think that I took the easy way out because I couldn't loose the weight by myself. I have told more and more people at work if it comes up. I have noticed that as I loose more weight it is hard to tell people that I just eat less and exercise. hahaha I have also realized that it is alot more awkward to tell guys about my surgery. They normally have no idea what it is so then I have to explain it and half the time they just end up really confused but still suportive.

I struggled with who to tell and who not to tell for a while. I decided that while I wasn't going to run through the streets screaming it, I couldn't exactly hide it forever.

As of now I have told majority of my family, a few friends, and my boss. I haven't told many of my friends yet because I don't see them too often and I don't think its necessary for them to know because it would just lead to a lot of questions that I honestly don't feel like explaining to them.

Tell who you want, when you want - there is no right or wrong way. If you want to keep it a secret from people, there's no need to tell them. If you had an IUD you wouldn't necessarily tell everyone, and I feel the same way about my band.

i actually told my co-workers and not most of my friends or family lol. i work in a small office with a great group of supportive people. with my family or friends, most of them would just criticize the entire process. i've told a close few of my friends. my husband has been extremely supportive and has respected my wishes in not telling everyone my plans. i am interested to see if post surgery, will any of the people i know, change in light of a new figure. at the end of the day though, if they do, they're not worth having in my life to begin with, or so i think.

Well I am 3 days post op and I have only told my closest family, closest friends, and 2 co-workers. Those 2 co-workers know to keep their mouths shut. I am a pretty open person 24/7 but my weight is one thing I'm private about. So I don't need bosses or hott guys knowing my weight issues or that I've had surgery. maybe after I've lost a lot of weight I will feel different, we'll see.

I'm not telling anyone, besides my mom and boyfriend. Of course my mom told my dad (I don't mind, he's my dad... I just didn't want to have a wierd conversation about it with him myself), and my boyfriend told his family. I've got mixed feelings on that. I've always been very private about my weight.

As far as people at work, I've had one person ask me if I'm losing weight and wants to know my secret! I haven't been banded yet so I told her I cook every meal now and I eat real food. I exercise and I don't drink my calories. All true!

I wasn't as concerned with who knew. Everyone at work knows, everyone at home knows, most all of my family knows, and the majority of my friends know. In fact, the only people who don't know are my ex and my current crush. I'd just rather my transformation be a surprise to either.

I've told everyone who would listen. I'm not ashamed of it and I want people to know that there are ways to get healthy. My parents, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's sister (who told my boyfriend's parents, who I DIDN'T want to know, because his mom is CRAZY and now harasses me about how I'm going to die from some complication), my close friends, and my co-workers. I didn't tell everyone at work, because I just don't like some of the people - but my supervisor knew and a few other people. My Mom's friends all knew.

Then, after surgery, I tell anyone who will listen. I'm proud of this thing - and I should be. The insurance company got billed 104,000 dollars for the surgery itself - I almost pissed myself when I saw that. Thank god they covered the whole thing.

Even the head of my department/professor at school knows. He was part of my inspiration to do this - and every time I see him, he acts like he doesn't know me because I'm disappearing.

I even keep a blog to keep friends/family informed of my progress.

I guess part of it is that I've never been ashamed of my weight. I'm the type that I'll tell people how much I weigh and not bat an eye. It doesn't bother me - I'm not out to hid anything. Especially, since most people you meet now know someone who has had a band/bypass.

I've told a few people... My mom, two of my best friends, and friend from middle school who recommended the surgeon, my sister and two people I am close to at my work. I am now wishing I didn't tell my mom, she doesn't seem to be very supportive - maybe because she just doesn't understand. I feel obligated to tell my grandparents for some reason, but I haven't yet and I don't know that I will. I don't want to tell my boss, but I may have to if I can't get my surgery scheduled over my vacation in September or if I need more time off for recovery or if I can't do everything that I typically do in a work day. I have always been very private about my weight, and I don't like people to focus on it or whatever so I probably won't tell anyone else. Although when I get to my goal, I might feel like telling everyone! I am just going to take it as it comes. For now, I kind of wish I didn't tell anyone and could just go have it done without anyone knowing.

here's my kinda funny story... i was not going to tell anyone. except my immediate family, i was absolutely not going to tell a soul. but my mom was telling everyone she talked to. but that was ok with me, because my mom never talks to my friends, i thought.

well my mom is friends with one of my best friends on facebook, and when my best friend saw my mom's status, about how much i had lost, my best friend texted me and asked me what i was doing. so i told her and i was ok with that...

than tonight, i randomly decided that i didn't care who knew and what they thought, so i posted it as my facebook/myspace status.

i know that what I am about to say will shock many of you but It was the only way I felt I could handle it. Ihave always been HUGE and as such always dieting sometimes successfully but often not for long and the sense of failure and judging that I got I think was contributing to the problem. So when I decided to do it I told no one - not husband, family, friends children no one. I know this is a risk and I carry a card that my doctor gave me (in case of medical emergency with me at all times. Everyone thinks I went in for gall bladder and as such I now cant have very fatty food and need to watch what I eat. I just couldnt face another failure in particular because of the money involved. I know I would never hear the end of it. Perhaps once I really have the thing under control I will share with hubby but not until then. What surprises me is that everyone buys it! Just goes to show you people dont really think much if it medical but once its "weight related" out come the judgements and quite frankly this is hard enough without that. I think this is why I love the forum it is my only way of sharing the experience and getting lots of info from people who really know what they are talking about