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Am I making the biggest mistake of my life?



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I am scheduled tomorrow surgery and I am soooooo freakin' scared!!! All these "what if's?" are going through my head. Do I really want this? What if I can't handle it? Can I handle being thinner? What will I do if I can't eat like I did before? I jumped through all the hoops and did everything I was supposed to just to have this surgery and now I don't know if I even want it? Did any one else go through this? Will I say "What was the big deal?" next week? I really need some guidance from you all. Thanks for letting me vent.

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I went through the same thing. I think a lot of people did. It is normal to question yourself before such a major step. This is a major thing, but I would not go back and change a thing. The surgery part was easy. It is the after that takes some work. The band will be there to help. I am healthier than I have been in years. I weigh less now than I have in over a decade. Now, only you can truly decide if this is right for you, but I bet you didn't go into this lightly. You didn't make the decision to get surgery as a lark. You can do this. Your new healthier self will be your reward.

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I was 40 on the day I was banded and it was the first surgery I had ever had. I was terrified! I began playing every horrible scenario in my head. My surgery was uneventful and I recovered fine. Being banded was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I don't regret one minute of it.

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Well I saw this post and I just had to reply I am exactly 9 days out and I can tell you that I was asking myself the same question the night before. I was worried something would happen to me and my children would be without a mother and for what? Well I got over it pretty quickly once I woke up and was OK. The first week was very challenging for me as I had the surgery on Friday and was back to work on Monday. Make sure that you have at least 3 days to receover. I think it would have made my recoevery alot better. I am still kind of struggling and I can already feel the hungry.

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I think everyone is scared of surgery and has second thoughts. It's a big life change, but in a good way. I don't regret getting the band at all...I only wish I had gotten it sooner. Best of luck!

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You have typical pre-surgery jitters. We can all say "relax", and "you'll be fine" but you're still going to be a bit nervous. But when it's all over, I have no doubt in my mind you'll ask yourself why you were so upset!

What if you can't eat like you did before? Hello! That's why you're scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Change is part of the deal. You'll be able to eat almost anything you want but not in the quantities of the past....and somethings are best left in the past. Like giant bowls of ice cream, fried stuff, white bread, etc. No, you won't be able to use food to bury a bad day, hurt feelings, loneliness or whatever other emotion has been driving you to the kitchen but is that bad??

Can you handle being thinner? The best news here is that you don't wake up from surgery instantly thin. It is a change that takes place over time. You lose, say 20-30 pounds and you realize that your knees don't hurt when you climb the stairs, or that you don't get winded walking a block. And you think "well, this is pretty okay!" And you lose some more and suddenly you're not shopping in the plus size stores and a whole world of more stylish clothes that look nice on you are out there for the choosing. And you think "Wow! This is great!" And along the way, people will start complimenting you and you realize you aren't questioning those compliments, but are taking them for what they are...recognition of the results of your hard work. And one day you realize that you ARE thin and that you love being thinner, healthier, more attractive......

So go outside, take a walk, go to the movies today. Do a few things to keep you from sitting in the house worrying. And tomorrow is the beginning of something new and wonderful.

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What Parrothead said! I coudn't have said it better!! I am 10 days post op...I was freaking out as well...mourning the life I knew, the beer I loved, the plates of mexican food that would stuff me to the hilt, but the better questions are these: Can I handle my life the way it is now? Am I going to live to have children, much less watch them grow old and have children? Am I going to dread getting on an airplane and praying that the person next to me is tiny or that the seat is empty. Am I going to go out to a business lunch and pray that they don't sit in a booth, just in case it's too tight. Am I tired of my girlfriends kindly letting me sit in the front seat...I would recommend thinking of all of the things you are sick of...through with...the real reasons why you're doing this, including health reason, comfort and self confidence. It is easy for someone to say, don't worry...you'll be fine...and damnit! You Will!! but I would reevaluate how life is as a fat person. Someone who gets looked at, not because she's "hot" but because she's morbidly obese. Good Luck. If you ever need anything, you found a great outlet!

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I'm sure there are millions of people out there that feel the same way you do and in six months you will say to yourself "I'm so stupid why did I feel that way." Good luck and be scared it's natural!

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I was banded 18 days ago, and I had the worst jitters. I was approved for the surgery in Nov.08, but kept changing my surgery date due to fear. I suffer from panic disorder that takes the smallest fear and turn it into a major event.

From the bottom of my heart I will tell you that I wasted 6 months worrying for nothing. The procedure lasted 45 minutes. I woke up to a small tummy ache, but no real pain. I felt sore for the first 48 hours and its been all up hill from there. The hardest part in the first week was me getting bored with the liquid diet. I went to creamy and soft food the second week and I am a happy camper. :laugh:

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Quite normal reaction.

I was banded on 4/16, and up to the point when my doctor left my bedside (pre-surgery) I was nervous. I remember my doctor asking, "ready kiddo"? and I said "no", yes, no, yes, I'm not sure, yeah I'm ready".

You've made this decision because your are disgusted with life/weight as it is, and nothing else has worked, right? Go for it, girl. Within the first week of post-op, you'll never look back.

Go to U-tube and look at all the success stories. Just do a lapband search on the site.

Beat wishes!!!!!

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I was sort of scared because I didn't have a lot of support. Even lost a few friends at the time because of it. But at that point I knew how being fat just wasn't working. This might be my last shot to change I thought. Change for real.

Now it's 9 months later and I'm so glad I went through all that hard stuff (the liquid diet, the classes) with no support, and I'm scared to even think what I would be now if I didn't make that scary change. I just wish I would have done it sooner. All that wasted time makes me sad to even think of missing out on all that happiness. Life is short, don't waste it. :laugh:

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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