I am going to need to tell my Father and sibs I want the surgery and I'm not exactly sure how to go about it. I am afraid I will break down in tears. We all have a weight problem. My DS just recently lost 100 pounds and continuing. My brother is a WW goer and exerciser and is doing great. I just have more trouble than the two of them. My 83-year-old dad walks 2 miles a day.

I don't want them to think the worst of me, like I think this is a quick fix and that I have not considered all the risks of surgery. I need to be healthy which is the bottom line.

How did some of you tell your family?

Thanks,

Barb in Arizona

The first person I told was my hubby. When we had went through all of the thought process together, I then told my mom. I just out and said I was starting the process to get lap-band surgery. I had mentioned it in the past before, but more a just casual "i wish I could do that".

As far as family goes that was it really. I waited until after the surgery to tell my dad. I didnt know how he would respond and I didnt want any negativity going into the surgery. From there my dad told his mom who (like grandmas do) told the rest of the family, and my mom told her family (with permission first).

Everyone was very supportive. I have a pretty skinny family so I was nervous. But no negativity at all!

Hi Barb. I did all of my research, had copies made of some online information about the band, figured out a timeline, and then told my mother and my daughter that I needed to talk to them. We went out to dinner and I told them that I had decided that getting the band was what I needed to do for me. They looked over the information, asked some questions, talked about the timeline I had, and told me that they were there to support me. I cried as I was telling them.... but then, I'm a crybaby. As with many things I've been afraid to do, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. As you said in your post - "I need to be healthy which is the bottom line." If your sister or your brother point out how well they are doing, tell them that you are proud of them and have supported them, and now you would like their support in your weight loss journey. Just remember, that you have to do what is best for you and only you can decide what that is. I hope it goes well for you. Good luck and know that you have a lot of support here. Take care. Becky

IF anybody accuses you of taking the "easy way out", please remind them that this is most certainly not easy. You will have a lifetime of making the right food choices and getting the exercise you need, and that the band is nothing more (or less) than a tool to help you stay "on the wagon". They know you've tried weight loss more than once and they know you've failed. Tell them after the surgery, after you're starting to lose. Some people don't even tell anybody but their spouses and maybe their children (if they are older kids). You have to do what will give you the support you need. The main thing is to remind them that you've done your research, studied the options, the possible complications, etc. AND this is YOUR choice.

I am going to need to tell my Father and sibs I want the surgery and I'm not exactly sure how to go about it. I am afraid I will break down in tears. We all have a weight problem. My DS just recently lost 100 pounds and continuing. My brother is a WW goer and exerciser and is doing great. I just have more trouble than the two of them. My 83-year-old dad walks 2 miles a day.

I don't want them to think the worst of me, like I think this is a quick fix and that I have not considered all the risks of surgery. I need to be healthy which is the bottom line.

How did some of you tell your family?

Thanks,

Barb in Arizona

Hi Barb:seeya:

I've decided not to tell my family - of course, since they are 1600 miles away, there really isn't a need.

They may surprise you and be supportive since you are actually looking for a solution. Good luck!

I didnt tell my family until after banding and coming close to goal. It was easier for me this way. I knew I had to do this for myself and just didnt want to many people involved in the early days. This made the process easier for me.

Regarding a quick fix, let me point this out to you. Some people with heart disease can control it with exercise and diet. Some need medication. SOME...need a pacemaker. Would your family, if you needed a pacemaker, say to you" OH that's a quick fix" or just be glad you got it? See my point?

I just told the people who love me. They've seen me struggle all my life, they know I am smart and strong and stubborn, and they are all glad.

My husband was a little reluctant because he thought the band had complications similar to bypass, but because he respects me, he went to a seminar with me and realized he was misinformed.

So my advice? Just tell them. If they know you they shouldn't think you are lazy or taking the easy way.

I told my family that I was 'exploring the option' since all the testing and other requirements were necessary first before a final decision was made. I informed them of the process all the way thru it.

I was initially upset with my mother, as she was not being very suppportive. I expected that she would be my BIGGEST supporter. It took me about 4 months to realize that she thought I wanted Gastric Bypass. Once we got that figured out we were good.

I haven't told many outside of my immediate family and best friends/coworkers. I have found that many people have no idea what I'm talking about anyway! I was asked the other day "How's your stomach stapling thing going?" GEESH!!! I just replied, "I'm not doing that!" My surgery is scheduled for 4/15...4 days...until the beginning of my life!!

I am the only large person in my family immediate family, there seems to be a gene that gets passed down where only one person in each generation acquires:sneaky:. I married a man who is a health freak, so I knew it was going to be hard to convince him that this was a good choice for me, so I left the orientation material with him while I went to an art class and asked him to be open minded while reading it and that we would talk when I returned. We then went for a long walk and discussed it, he is now my biggest supporter. I then slowly told my siblings and 3 of my best friends. That is it.......anyone else I just say I'm on a diet that re-teaches you how to eat (which is true)..........liquids, purees, soft, and transitional foods......almost like a baby (they totally buy into this).

Hope this helps.

I am going to need to tell my Father and sibs I want the surgery and I'm not exactly sure how to go about it. I am afraid I will break down in tears. We all have a weight problem. My DS just recently lost 100 pounds and continuing. My brother is a WW goer and exerciser and is doing great. I just have more trouble than the two of them. My 83-year-old dad walks 2 miles a day.

I don't want them to think the worst of me, like I think this is a quick fix and that I have not considered all the risks of surgery. I need to be healthy which is the bottom line.

How did some of you tell your family?

Thanks,

Barb in Arizona

When I told my husband I said:

"Honey, I went to Mexico and got a Lap Band."

No, not kidding. ;o)

When I told my husband I said:

"Honey, I went to Mexico and got a Lap Band."

No, not kidding. ;o)

OMG I can't believe that. Thats crazy. Did he FLIP out?

OMG I can't believe that. Thats crazy. Did he FLIP out?

What could he do? It's my body, my choice. I told him I wanted to do it and he was not supportive so I did it anyway. It wasn't his decision, it was mine.

It's not all that unique, I know of 5-6 others that did the same thing. ;o)

Well, I have to say that I did not tell "everyone" either. I am very happy with that decision. I still have not told my mother or brother and being that they are 1500 miles away, I see no need to. While I have told them that I am losing weight and have quit smoking, I did not tell them about my surgery. I have told some people at work, but only those that I knew would support me and encourage me. My husband has been my biggest supporter and motivator through all this. I did this for me, not anyone else and you are doing this for YOU. Good luck with your journey!