Does anybody else receive words of discouragement and a complete lack of understanding from others?

In addition to being over weight, I am also very muscular so people tend to think I am less fat than I actually am. I explain that my muscle accounts for maybe an extra 20-30lbs and that I need to lose about 80lbs. Plus I have co-morbidities.

Anyway, I just get sick and tired of hearing the same old saw about not needing a band and that I should just lose weight naturally by making better food choices.

What really makes my blood boil is when thin people keep insisting that the only reason anyone is over weight is because they choose to eat fattening foods and that losing weight is as simple as making better choices. In their minds that's all there is to it, eating is a choice just like picking out which shirt to wear - nothing more, nothing less.

Why is it so difficult for people to understand that some people have an overwhelming urge to eat that others just don't experience? Why is it so hard to understand that people do not all have the same metabolism? If you look at the facts, it is obvious that these things are true and yet most people prefer to believe that fat people are just weak and lazy. I honestly believe that these beliefs make people feel better about themselves.

I just wonder if people realize how infuriating and insulting it is when they minimize the difficulties that we face. Really I have to think that's part of their pleasure. "Let's tell the fat guy that his weight problem is just due to him being weak and lazy and then when he gets pissed, that will be an example of his weak character."

And what burns me up even more is when overweight people buy into it and make the same argument as if they are not fat themselves. I guess when a lie is repeated often enough it becomes fact.

The fact that most really skinny people eat whatever they want whenever they want is simply ignored.

Here is a good one, my boss said that I was losing the "easy way"! Ha! Easy! That just shows you the world has no idea what we are going through. I also hear about the aunt, uncle, friend of a second cousins hair dresser who had it done and threw up all the time or gained the weight back etc. I just let it roll off. I know from all the stories here that this is good stuff and it works as well as you are willing to invest in it. I know that if I did not have it I would say to myself that I can have that apple pie or shake because I did a mile on the treadmill. So for me, this is what I needed to save my life. Yup, I choose the easy way! LOL

Hey flowers...My Grandma used to say to me ALL the time..."You'd be so pretty if you were skinny"

So what the heck am I now? Gee thanks!

It's funny what people will say to you when they are "just trying to be helpful"

When I first had surgery, family/friends were encouraging. A relative came over last week and saw me >40lbs and commented about patient she knew that had died from staff infection from this surgery! Really? Does my wloss bring out the negative side in her? Do tell! Im not mad, just give me time, Ill just lose-lose-lose,lol!! This talk just fuels my wloss, little do they know.

Most people are pretty positive and are waiting to see how much I actually lose and if it works :mad2:

maddy

S205lbs

C166lbs<

G145lbs

Surgery4/o8

Plano tx

My DH is one of those that can eat like a horse and never gain an ounce, he has absolutely no fat on his body and his entire family is thin. Even before getting the Lap Band I ate less than hubby and still kept gaining. But all have been surprisingly supportive. MIL didn't quite get it at first and with good intentions suggested Jenny Craig and the gym as an alternative to surgery but she is so on board now. Mom worried about the surgery but is supportive now. Pretty much everyone around me knows that I have had it done and I have not had too many problems. I am sure that there are people who may seem supportive but are judging my decision behind by back but I am also sure that some of these same people judged me when I was obese too...thats just the way people are.

I completely understand where you are coming from, my own father thinks that way. I have tried numerous times to convince him that it's one of the best things I can do for myself. I can't understand why he would think it's all my fault when his own grand mother was extremely overweight, and I have her body style. Maybe one day he will understand, maybe he won't...personally I could care less because it's how I feel about myself that counts. don't let anyone bring you down, it's just their way of making themselves feel better [i know that is so cliche, but it's true].

wow - edub, you have had similar responses that I have....I have a surgery date of April 28 - and a co-worker/friend still can't believe that I am having the surgery.

She says, "but your not that fat".

She says I don't look fat, that I look athletic and big boned. (I have 90 pounds to lose!!)

She thinks I should just have the will power to eat less and exercise more.

Realisticlly she is right, but I need that tool to help me with that. The band will REMIND me not to overeat -

The co-worker/friend that is making the discouraging comments to me -- well, I have decided that I can't talk with her about it anymore. I will not bring it up -- I don't want to hear her comments anymore. I need positive encouraging people around me,

I believe I can succeed!!

MSan914 you are right to stay away from her. You do only need positive and sometimes when we ask for only positive we still get the negative. I posted here one time asking for only positive about the doctor I had chosen, and well, sure enough, someone can't read or they just have to try to ruin it, she posted a very negative about my doctor. I have later found out he is wonderful and would recommend him to anyone. So, let them stay away from you, you can get all the postive support from many wonderful people here. Your questions and concerns will get answered from people who have been through it. You will also learn the people who are most knowledgable from those who are just learning. I was only banded on 10 Feb so I just don't know that much yet but if you need support, you sure have mine. You just ask away and we will find out together! Keep your chin up, you are doing the right thing for you.