Is it just me or does anyone else find it irritating when others "assume" what you should or should not eat?? or like their watching every bite that goes in your mouth?? or stupid questions like"you can eat chocolate?" .Yes I can,I probably shouldn't but they didn't remove my stomach I just have a band on it!! Soooo irritating!! :rose: I know I shouldn't worry about others but I hate feeling like I'm being treated like a child or an invalid!!:thumbup:

I think for me, that was one of the biggest reasons why I only told three people. I didn't want people to scrutinize me or see if I failed (I think I still had it in my mind that I could or would fail like I had with diets in the past). Maybe find a polite way to tell them to mind their own beeswax. :thumbup:

It is very annoying. Sometimes when they say, "Oh you can have bread?", I'll say, "Yes I can have a slice, but not the whole loaf anymore." Anyone else who has good answers to these questions - please share so we can all use them. Thanks for the post lacasst!!! Becky

For that exact reason the only people that knew i was going to have weight loss surgery were my husband and daughter. Saved alot of greif and expectations.

That was my exact reason for only telling my immediate family and only my two closest friends about my band. (Oh and I told my hairdresser. I'm a long time client, and we share everything..lol). I'm not the least bit ashamed or embarrassed about it, I just didn't want the scrutiny, whether it had to do with my rate of weight loss, or the food I eat. I've been really happy with my decision.

Edited February 14, 200917 yr by kiz

I don't know... it just seems like there are many people in the world that are jealous of anyone making positive changes in their life, so they just sit there and wait and watch and hope you will fail.

Hypothetically, (since I haven't told more than five people either) I would giggle and say, "Yes! Isn't it wonderful! I can eat this and not worry that I have eaten too much! I don't feel deprived at all, and I definitely feel better not carrying around all that guilt! Woo hoo! Yum! Yum! I'm free!!"

Okay...your mileage on that one might vary depending on your personality!! ha ha ha

I know what you mean. But what makes me mad is my husband because he thinks I should still be able to eat like I did preband. He gets mad when I only eat a little of something. And he will bring donuts in here, like I can eat them. Anything with bread gives me trouble, and he knows it, but he will still bring the stuff in her anyway. WHY DOES HE DO IT???!!!!

It doesn't bother me at all when people ask about things like that. There's a lot of misconceptions about WLS out there and people who ask those questions are often just trying to understand, not necessarily to judge. People who haven't been there don't know what it's like, so I regard their questions as an opportunity for education. Just remember what it was like for you before surgery, and the questions you might have wanted to ask someone.

The only ones who seem to actively question for other reasons are friends and family, and they do so because they're concerned for me and want to make sure that I do succeed. I appreciate every time I plan to go out with my parents and my mother asks me if I can eat anything at a particular restaurant; she wants me to enjoy myself, too, and not be sitting there with an empty plate or choking on something I felt obligated to order.

YMMV, of course, but it helps sometimes to look at things from the other side.

What I get sick of is when my food is scrutinized by the way it looks.. I'm on the mushy stage and every time I sit down to eat my Dad has to inspect it. Then he will make some absurd comment about it and that he couldn't do it. So, obviously I told him off lol but the thickhead doesn't get the point, or he's trying to get my goat.. But come on I'm on week two already.. Give it a rest lmao..

I know what you mean. But what makes me mad is my husband because he thinks I should still be able to eat like I did preband. He gets mad when I only eat a little of something. And he will bring donuts in here, like I can eat them. Anything with bread gives me trouble, and he knows it, but he will still bring the stuff in her anyway. WHY DOES HE DO IT???!!!!

Yeah, I've had issues with my DH too.

Thanks for everyone's advice & comments!! It makes me feel so much better that I'm not alone.My DH is the one that asked me about the chocolate! LOL :rose: He really try's but just doesn't get it sometimes!! I think his heart's in the right place,he just wants me to suceed.......but I still dont like being told what to do,I'm such a brat!!:thumbup:

Thanks for everyone's advice & comments!! It makes me feel so much better that I'm not alone.My DH is the one that asked me about the chocolate! LOL :rose: He really try's but just doesn't get it sometimes!! I think his heart's in the right place,he just wants me to suceed.......but I still dont like being told what to do,I'm such a brat!!:rose:

I think "wife" is Latin for "brat." :thumbup:

I've showed my husband the suggested recipes and all the handouts from the surgeons office. He knows that I can eat pretty much whatever I want but that it doesn't make any sense to go through with all of this and eat Wendy's Frosty's all day long.

As far as co-workers -- some know and some don't, but it's not a secret.

I don't live near my family but if one of my brothers started giving me shit about it (please bear in mind I'm not a particularly strong person) I would say "It's not funny, it's not nice and please stop."

end of conversation.

Yep.

Oh! You meant in relation to the band. That's why I only told a few people. I was on WW about 5/6 yrs ago and had gotten down to 185. EVERYONE knew I was on WW and I was constantly asked can you eat that... how much have you lost... how much further... etc. I HATED IT!!!

Several in our congregation have had bypass. One woman gained all of her weight back and says it's the worst thing she ever did. Another woman had it a yr ago as I was starting my own process for the band and she stood up in front of the whole congregation to tell everyone. She's done really well in the last year. BUT people just don't GET IT with the band and I did not want my loss to be compared with her loss and speed of it or go through what I went through on WW all those years ago.

Now when people ask, I just tell them I'm working on it. I leave it at that and change the subject.

Spouse and kids have been told, next month on the 9th. The support is in place but.....my DH will make me nuts. I know it, I know it, I KNOW IT!!! He doesn't think I eat enough now, he also thinks food will cure anything that sex doesn't. I am working on telling my best friend. She had bypass a few years ago and has regained most of it. I know she will be there for me, but I don't want her to think that I am trying to 'OUT DO HER!' I also don't want her to feel bad, she has some kid issues now and she is a sensitive and passive person. I won't let anyone else in because I don't need or want a keeper.

Yeah, I've had issues with my DH too.

The counselor during my psch eval told me that after being banded, good marriages get better and bad marriages get worse. I so believe that now. My husband gives me no support and doesn't even get excited for me that I am losing. The only small amout of support I have had (outside of here) has been surprisingly from my mother.