I've been reading for quite some time about the debate about who to tell, and who not to tell, about surgery. I made the decision to be open about it, since I am pretty close to my team and work, and they are a very supportive group of people. I also know I can trust them not to blab too much about it.

However, I had told another coworker about it as well. Which is no problem - she's a very supportive person. But this morning while we were talking, a woman in a nearby cube, whom I just talk to in passing, ran over to the cube we were chatting in and started giving me her .02 about weight loss. :bananalama: She told me that I should do it without surgery, and that her children all lost weight from bike riding and watching their food. And she started asking me questions about if I worked out, or what I was eating, etc.

Normally I'm pretty open about the surgery, and happy to discuss it. But this was the first time I've met someone so adamantly against surgery, and willing to totally give me crap about it, even though she barely knows me! It got a little uncomfortable, because at that point I'm fairly certain everyone in her department could hear us talking. So much for keeping it within my team. :cheers2:

I was as polite as I could be, but told her that this is a decision I've been weighing (ha!) for three years, and I was certain I wanted to go through with it. That I was willing to take the risk, that it wasn't the easy way out... (insert pre-bandster speech here). She wasn't downright mean about it, but she just didn't understand and insisted that because I had lost some pre-surgery weight (17lbs this month), it would be no problem to lose it on my own. I neglected to tell her I had nearly 200lbs to lose... and thanks, but 17lbs is just a drop in the bucket.

Anyway, I'll end my rant here... I was just kind of surprised to get such a strong reaction from a virtual stranger. Weird!

I'm a really open person, just read my blog, but I've decided not to tell anyone but DH at this point. I can't predict people's reactions and I don't want to head into this with any negatives. I'm the 'skinny' sibling of the 5 of us, so I'm not sure how my sister's and brother would react.

I'm happy with my decision at this point because besides all the WL docs/nurses and pre-op docs I've told 4 other (unrelated to WL) docs and 5 nurses in their offices. Every single one of them said the same thing "You don't look like you need weight loss surgery!" (I have up to 100# to lose and I don't carry it in my upper half). Then I have to go into a long conversation about my BMI (started at 37.7), diet yo-yo history, my comorbidities, family history...yadda yadda. I wasn't able to convince one of them that I needed this...and they were all in the MEDICAL PROFESSION!!! It's certainly a personal choice, I just can't imagine having to go through this justification with a lot of others.

I totally had to go through the whole "you don't look like you need it" thing as well. I've also been told that as a result I should just take it off naturally. People at my work are doing thier own version of the biggest loser and I know those I told about the surgery do not support me. I wish I never said anything. They are currently unsuccessful at doing it through diet and exercise. I can imagine that when I start to lose weight and get compliments from those who are not in the know about my surgery, they will make nasty comments like, "Oh she only did that because she had surgery. It's a piece of cake if you do that." It's a shame, because I am normally an open book. I just learned to late that the people I work with can't enjoy seeing others happy if they don't have it themselves Happily, my family is SUPER supportive!

One of the last co-workers I told was asking a bit about the band I told her that it goes on empty and slowly gets filled....

Then mentioned that I'd lost 36lbs since October in preparation (most of it in the last couple months) she looked at me and said.....OH!? I don't see it....... I ain't telling now one else...next person that ask why I'm going to be out I'm using the female surgery excuse......

Edited April 7, 200917 yr by JayTee562
Typos of course

Hang in there guys...tell or not tell, all that matters is the ones who truly love us will be there to support us through this. As we make headway towards our goal our happiness will be contagious and our happiness will benefit our loved ones as well.

Edited April 7, 200917 yr by Band_Groupie

...next person that ask why I'm going to be out I'm using the female srgery excuse......

Too funny!! Wish I could be a fly on the wall to see that!

Have told everyone in the family and my friends and just a couple of people at work (but am a little scared that they'll tell those that I don't want to know).

Edited April 7, 200917 yr by PharmaGirl

I have support of close friends and family members. I didn't want to tell work and I already had my gallbladder out. No bad karma there so I went ahead and used that excuse as it done laparoscopic as well. :cool2: I really want it to be my journey and not the knitting circle's topic of conversation.

Plus I know this previously 400 lbs women who lost 200 after her gastric who co-workers think she does Weight Watchers.

Banded April 1st.

I told one friend very early on and since then decided not to tell anyone else. Only my husband knows. My 16 year old son does not.

I told everyone I was having a hiatal hernia repair (true) and esophageal surgery (partly true).

I complained about throat and stomach problems leading up to the surgery, talked about food (mostly pastas, breads and rice) coming back up (partly true). I've mentioned all the things I will have to deal with post op. I've said that I will have to watch what I eat, avoid foods that could swell in my throat (like starches) and eat slow.

And, it worked.

I told (asked) my husband right from the beginning. I knew there would be no way I could do it without his support. Later on I told my 2 boys (19 and 17 years old) They are ok with it now but there first reaction was lose the weight on your own. I finally told my sister last week in a round about way because I was not sure what she would say. She works for a PCP and I was worried she would be against it. She actually said maybe we should do it together. But I'm too far into it now to wait on her besides her weight isn't that bad, but I would support her if she does decided to do it. I knew she would tell my mother about it and she did. So Mom's is ok with it. I did not tell them the date and I feel bad about that but I don't want them to try and make a 3 to 4 hour drive to come to the hospital. And I know theywould insist on coming, so I'll tell them I'm done after I'm done (Thurs 4-16). I told no one at work as all my best buds have been laid off the rest of the people I talk to are just acquaintances no so much true friends. And they will definitely be wanting to talk about it all the time and be watching to see how I do. Maybe eventually I'll tell them or maybe not.

Hi Bunnies

I was quiet about it at first just cause I wanted to make sure I was going to be approved by insurance and all before I actually told people. Since being approved I am more open about it. So of course I told Parents, My 2 Best friends, Fiance and his mother,My supervisor who has been looking into the Procedure herself and a few people at work that I am pretty sure have an open mind..and will be supportive of my decison and also a few of Co-workers have had Lapband too.. so that of course makes it easier for me to want to share.

I am pretty open about things but I figure this for me is a need to know basis. I think as the weight starts to come off and be more noticeable more people @ work will start to wonder and ask? But I can really care less about what people think about me. Only God can judge me and I am doing this for me.. No one else so whatever makes you all feel comfortable do. I just don't want everyone asking me how much weight have you lost? and all the other questions that come along with it.

My fiance told his BF that I was having surgery this friday and I told him he wasn't supossed to tell anyone until afterwards and he told me that his friend won't judge me and he just wanted to be able to talk to someone about it besides his mom and me. So I accepted that I was just a little embarrased at first.. I am really nervous but I have faith and I am prayng for all of us.. Take care

One of my nurses while in the hospital told me someting intresting she said tht she'd get the surgery if they covered it. I wonder if some negative reaction is because some in the medical field who need it can't get it.

JayTee, it is funny you should say that. I work in the hospital where I am having my surgery Thursday. it was not covered under our insurance until the physician went to the president and told him that if he was going to do this surgery at the hospital there was no way they could deny the employees. So starting Jan 1 2009 it is covered for us. So far we have had quite a few people that have either had the surgery or are in the process. So I am extremely grateful for what my surgeon did for us.

JayTee, it is funny you should say that. I work in the hospital where I am having my surgery Thursday. it was not covered under our insurance until the physician went to the president and told him that if he was going to do this surgery at the hospital there was no way they could deny the employees. So starting Jan 1 2009 it is covered for us. So far we have had quite a few people that have either had the surgery or are in the process. So I am extremely grateful for what my surgeon did for us.

I remembered your story in the back of my mind but didn't knw where I had heard it. Glad you had a surgeon go to bat for the staff and enable you to make this leap.

I tell whoever will listen!!I think is a great think that I have done. I don't care what people think about opting for surgery..it is another tools that is going to help me get where I need to be. I am 38 and struggled all my life and the people who count in my life know this and support me:)

I have told a few people -- we had a "Biggest Loser" type competition at my work last year and I told the 13 of them through an e-mail, I told them that I was open to questions, comments, etc

....only ONE has said anything to me about it, and that ONE is very supportive!

My husband is still not understanding it all - he is supportive. My daughter is my best support and she is SIX YEARS old........I can't believe it - yesterday at dinner while I was having my shake. She said "you are having your diet food?" and I said "yep, I am... and you are having your healthy dinner too."

She then said, "Mom you having the surgery will really make you healthy."

I almost cried!

I have told most important people except for my daughter. She is against any surgery that is not necessary. She will be told but not until later. She is a worrier. I love her and she has been through alot in the last couple of years with me being diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago. I am cancer free and I intend to get healthy as obesity was definitely a pre-curser to the cancer.:thumbup:

I told my daughter today. She took it pretty well. I am relieved.:smile2: