I've been reading for quite some time about the debate about who to tell, and who not to tell, about surgery. I made the decision to be open about it, since I am pretty close to my team and work, and they are a very supportive group of people. I also know I can trust them not to blab too much about it.

However, I had told another coworker about it as well. Which is no problem - she's a very supportive person. But this morning while we were talking, a woman in a nearby cube, whom I just talk to in passing, ran over to the cube we were chatting in and started giving me her .02 about weight loss. :bananalama: She told me that I should do it without surgery, and that her children all lost weight from bike riding and watching their food. And she started asking me questions about if I worked out, or what I was eating, etc.

Normally I'm pretty open about the surgery, and happy to discuss it. But this was the first time I've met someone so adamantly against surgery, and willing to totally give me crap about it, even though she barely knows me! It got a little uncomfortable, because at that point I'm fairly certain everyone in her department could hear us talking. So much for keeping it within my team. :cheers2:

I was as polite as I could be, but told her that this is a decision I've been weighing (ha!) for three years, and I was certain I wanted to go through with it. That I was willing to take the risk, that it wasn't the easy way out... (insert pre-bandster speech here). She wasn't downright mean about it, but she just didn't understand and insisted that because I had lost some pre-surgery weight (17lbs this month), it would be no problem to lose it on my own. I neglected to tell her I had nearly 200lbs to lose... and thanks, but 17lbs is just a drop in the bucket.

Anyway, I'll end my rant here... I was just kind of surprised to get such a strong reaction from a virtual stranger. Weird!

Ahhhh the endless debate. It's weird because I've told a wide variety of people... and I had sworn it was going to stay in a close circle.

Of course my parents and sister know, but I haven't told any of my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) even though I'm pretty close with them. I guess it's because I've always been the one really fat person in the family, and want to sneak up on them. Teehee! I'm sure I'll eventually tell them the whole story, and I feel like they would be supportive if I told them now but again, I want to just surprise them.

I've told very few people at work, only because I prefer to keep that stuff to myself. I told my boss so he'd know why I was out all the time (for the various appts) and he was VERY supportive... although he has a big mouth so I'm taking his confidentiality with a grain of salt. And I've told one other person at work that I know will keep my trust and is supportive. However, I work with a lot of ladies that are my Mom's age, and I know they would be supportive so I may reveal more once it's all done as well. If they don't know already...

My best friends of course know, and it's funny - I tell other friends/acquaintances as I see fit. I don't tell everyone but if I feel "it" with them, I let them know and everyone has been encouraging.

The one person that hasn't been as encouraging is a friend I made in the past year or so. I think it's because she hasn't seen my struggle for the past 10+ years of being overweight, up and down with different diets, trying everything and being frustrated. She gave me the same response your colleague did - "Why surgery? Can't you take it off 'naturally'? Just eat less!" Uh huh, if that worked for me I'd be in good shape now.

I think you just tell the people that you know will support you, or that you feel it necessary to tell. It's all about you and your personal preference. And as far as I'm concerned - congrats and big thumbs up! :confused:

Hey Bunnies! (cute name!)

I have told my best friends and some other friends who I wouldn't call best friends but who have been very supportive of all my efforts to lose weight and who have really encouraged this. Haven't told any family (Don't get along with them well) and I dont want to tell my boss or anyone at work.... Any suggestions on what operation to say I am having instead to get the time off? The nurse at the Doc's office suggested Gallbladder removal... thoughts?

I've heard gallbladder surger is a great excuse if you don't want to say you're goin in for the band. I think it's done laproscopically as well... And they'll never really know!

I love the group name of "April Bunnies"

After our weight loss -- we will be looking like the girls next store right??? hahaha

(don't know that I will ever get like that - but my husband assures me that I will be extremely HOT!!)

Ok -so of course my DH knows -- and so does my DD (6 yrs old) to a limitation.

A couple people at my work knows - and they are supportive.

My siblings know -- and are supportive also.

A couple friends that I told, one is supportive, the other (who is also overweight) just "can't understand why I would do it"........well

I am TIRED of being FAT!!! and I told her that....she replied you aren't FAT, are not much bigger than I am.

I politely kept my mouth shut - but wanted to say, and you, MY DEAR FRIEND, are fat also.

Anyway - I am soo excited.

My appt is April 28 - so I am a late bunny!

:thumbup:

Hey you guys, I've told,of course my hubby and my kids and at work 2 of my best buds that I know won't tell. People who have never had a problem all their lives don't understand how hard it is! It's not hard to lose it but it's hard to keep it off!! And I don't want to have to deal with other people and their opinions. This is my life and I want to take control of it! And I know from watching other people that have had surgery how everyone talks about them and for sure watches EVERY thing they put in their mouths and I do not want to be under a microscope! Thanks for the idea about gallbladder surgery, I've been trying to come up with an idea about me taking off work!

I've made no secret about it to anyone. I'm online a lot - I'm an internet DJ and do band promotion - so I have a lot of people that follow my blogs and such. My surgery is actually on a day when I have a radio show so obviously I won't be on the air that day and people wanted to know why. Plus I've told my family and friends as well so I figured I'd do something fun and hopefully productive to someone somewhere and blog about my experience.

So pretty much everyone that talks to me on a regular basis knows. And so far I've seen nothing but support from them. My dad is an EMT and has been for nearly 40 years and he asked me a lot of questions to make sure I'd done my research but he's very supportive. Even my step-grandmother (who's the biggest witch on the planet) was excited for me. That was a shocker I can tell you. My 7 year old twins have been asking me questions and are excited and want to help in my recovery.

I'm sure I'll run into someone who's going to give me crap about it but that's okay. Let them think what they want. It's YOUR body, not there's, and you know what's best for it.

I've heard gallbladder surger is a great excuse if you don't want to say you're goin in for the band. I think it's done laproscopically as well... And they'll never really know! :thumbup:

Only problem with that is I have to go back and get my gallbladder out later I hope to do it this year while my out of pocket is taken care of.

I told my sup and 2 close friends at work from almost day one my sup is over weight and we discuss this stuff all the time. After my surgery was scheduled I told the other couple of people in my area, and all the people in the cubss next to ours know from overhearing me talk to insurance and the Dr's. The problem is controlling who my other half tells....lol

Edited March 29, 200917 yr by JayTee562
Typo

I tell anyone! I know it'll have people paying more attention and that might be frustrating if the weight isn't falling off of me, but I think it'll also keep me more accountable and on track. I have a really supportive group of family and friends and wouldn't be able to be on this journey without them!

I'm a really open person, just read my blog, but I've decided not to tell anyone but DH at this point. I can't predict people's reactions and I don't want to head into this with any negatives. I'm the 'skinny' sibling of the 5 of us, so I'm not sure how my sister's and brother would react.

I'm happy with my decision at this point because besides all the WL docs/nurses and pre-op docs I've told 4 other (unrelated to WL) docs and 5 nurses in their offices. Every single one of them said the same thing "You don't look like you need weight loss surgery!" (I have up to 100# to lose and I don't carry it in my upper half). Then I have to go into a long conversation about my BMI (started at 37.7), diet yo-yo history, my comorbidities, family history...yadda yadda. I wasn't able to convince one of them that I needed this...and they were all in the MEDICAL PROFESSION!!! It's certainly a personal choice, I just can't imagine having to go through this justification with a lot of others.

Edited March 31, 200917 yr by Band_Groupie

Only DH and my best friend know.. I havent even told my mother or sister.... I did tell one friend because I thought i needed her for a ride, and of course she said i looked fine and didnt need it.....blah blah blah, she isnt the one who cant button up her fat jeans, I AM!! lol

knowing my sister always likes it when im bigger than her, I didnt want to hear what she had to say...i asked my hubby how i should respond to her comments if i happen to tell them at some point...he said to just reassure her that I will be giving her all my 'fat' clothes.....( when my sister had lost 30 lbs she actually said that to ME, then proceeded to give me a bag of clothes!!) i thought his answer was hilarious!

i worked with a gal who had it done...everybody knew somehow (it does get out in the workplace) but she continued to deny it, even though it was obvious. i think, if it gets to that point, i will mention it...no use pretending then.

i dont think there is a right or wrong answer, just a personal choice and who is supportive and who isnt...

but she continued to deny it, even though it was obvious. i think, if it gets to that point, i will mention it...no use pretending then.

Beth I've lost major weight many times on diets at least as fast as the average Bander...I don't get why it would be obvious? Now, I do get if you're an RNY'er because it comes off SO fast.

And DH's answer is classic.

I think i just recall everybody in the workplace knowing because she had gone down to 'mexico' with the other girls who had it done, but just to be their support person.... then she started to lose weight...so i guess in THAT sense it was obvious....

but hadnt knowing that information....i prob would have thought she was doing really good on the latest diet..

i think i was trying to say that if people were talking about it, and some already had an idea, I prob wouldnt deny it.....although i probably could, and nobody would be the wiser....

and yes, i will be bagging up all my 'fat clothes' lol

I told the snoopy folks at work that I was off getting "female surgery" and the one guy who wanted to know more was told that I am getting my tubes tied. I have to eat out a lot with my clients and bosses (I'm in sales) so I'm somewhat stressed about that and what to say.

My family and some close friends know. Some are supportive..and some are not. I'm finding that the fat friends are not as supportive! Huh.

I told the snoopy folks at work that I was off getting "female surgery" and the one guy who wanted to know more was told that I am getting my tubes tied. I have to eat out a lot with my clients and bosses (I'm in sales) so I'm somewhat stressed about that and what to say.

My family and some close friends know. Some are supportive..and some are not. I'm finding that the fat friends are not as supportive! Huh.

Same here moonbeam, I told my boss I was having girly stuff done, and same as one other chick at work. Our company are BIG Drinkers and very social, so I am going to have a tough time, especially since my alcohol tolerance will be RUBBISH after this! I think we can get away with "smaller portions" or ordering the Soup so we can at least eat most of it!! if we do it under the guise of "being healthy, trying to eat 6 portions a day, and I am saying I have a personal trainer who works me to the core every morning before work - they'll never know!! muhuhuhahahahha!!:smile2:

I'm happy with my decision at this point because besides all the WL docs/nurses and pre-op docs I've told 4 other (unrelated to WL) docs and 5 nurses in their offices. Every single one of them said the same thing "You don't look like you need weight loss surgery!" (I have up to 100# to lose and I don't carry it in my upper half). Then I have to go into a long conversation about my BMI (started at 37.7), diet yo-yo history, my comorbidities, family history...yadda yadda. I wasn't able to convince one of them that I needed this...and they were all in the MEDICAL PROFESSION!!! It's certainly a personal choice, I just can't imagine having to go through this justification with a lot of others.

Band Groupie, I am in the same boat as you. Many people say that I dont need surgery I am not fat. Even the cardiologist I went to said "do you qualify for this surgery". It is because I too carry my weight in my lower half. I started with my BMI around 37 just like you. I just dont understand why many people dont see me as fat when I am obviously obese. Frustrating isnt it? :smile2: