To tell or not to tell?!?

[WorkingMom 0]

Quite honestly, I don't want my weight to be a topic of discussion at work, amongst my friends, etc. I want to do what I need to do and if for what ever reason it goes slower than I hope, well, I don't want to have to explain to everyone why it isn't just dropping off. I also know that so many people look for reasons to 'knock' one's achievements, and know that I'd hear " Well she didn't do it on her own, she had surgery".

People are judgmental, and although I am very open about much of my life, my weight is very sensitive, and I don't care to share. I have told no one at work and will advise simply that I have to have a "procedure," which will keep me out of the office a week.

For me, I am happy with my decision, and so far on the pre-op liquids, have been able to sail through without any questions. When my family has gone out to dinner with another family, I ordered a big salad, and pushed it around the bowl. At the end of the meal when someone asked if I liked the salad, I said, "You, know, I just wasn't very hungry, I guess I'll take it to go". My husband got my salad for lunch the next day!

[julestoyou 0]

I wrote earlier today on this blog and we have similar feeligns about it. I know some people are comfortable to discuss all the time but I have to tell you that I said I was taking a quick vacation with my husband to Mexico where I had it done and was gone Wed-Fri. Went to work on the following Monday with no drama and no one has noticed a thing including eating liquids and mushies.

Now I eat normal food and no one still notices. The first two months have been up and down as far as the weight and u/stnding that it may take many fills to get it right. In the mean time it is like being on a diet and it takes will power. Not my strongest issue and why I got the band in the first place.

Not telling has been best for me personally. I am already hard enough on myself about this and the micro managing is best done by the expert me. HaHa

[elirules 1]

mentioned it to a few coworkers and some family..overall very few..excited as hell.

[mjg12 0]

I told some people at work, my family and friends. I took 2 weeks off for recovery (because my brain hurts too!) so I didn't want people to think I am really sick, and with the constant doctor's appointments it made sense to tell.

[Camping7768 0]

I told everyone at work to head off any rumors, sure enough when I got back one of my friends had told everyone I went in for a sexchange operation, asshole.

Oh my gosh, I'm still wiping the Water off of my computer screen, LOL!!!!!! What a stinker your friend is!!!!

Initially, I wasn't going to tell anybody but changed my mind. This is the best decision I've ever made and if my experience can help just one person then I've made a difference. I wish I would of heard of this surgery years ago but I only heard about it the summer of '07 and it's taken me this long to get okayed by my insurance. I was way too chicken to try gastric bypass and feel so grateful that this procedure has been found.

[Sleeved12/29 2]

I told some people at work, my family and friends. I took 2 weeks off for recovery (because my brain hurts too!) so I didn't want people to think I am really sick, and with the constant doctor's appointments it made sense to tell.

At first I wasn't going to tell anyone...wanted them to notice BUT once I started with the doctor's appointments, etc everyone thought the worst. The "C" word (cancer) came up a few time along with "female surgery" since I'm 51.

Finally, I told everyone AND wow were they supportative. Many knew how I was struggling with my diabetes in the mornings...

I'm glad I told everyone. Many have come to me & told me how brave I've been because they are afraid to have the surgery. Many ask to "see my scar".

Most know I did it for health reasons...not vanity reasons...so they are fine with it.

I've been off since 12/24 so I'm wondering what they'll say when I return tomorrow.

It's really a personal decision.

[daqui26 4]

i have only told certain ppl. the last thing i want to hear is all of the reasons why they would not do it. as far as work, i have told those that im close too. i dont consider all of my co-workers my friends so i will not let them in my space like that. there has been neg. comments made abt others who do the WLS. as far as family those who need to know will know, eventually the word will get around no need for me to tell. its all abt your comfort. i just told my DH not to tell his family but thats only b/c i want to shock them the next time i see them.

[Stephanka917 0]

I told everyone at work to head off any rumors, sure enough when I got back one of my friends had told everyone I went in for a sexchange operation, asshole.

Oh man, that made me laugh out loud and my stitches felt like they were going to burst!!!

I told everyone except for my parents, of all people! They are very anti fat and have never been supportive of any of my weight loss attempts.

~Steph:thumbup:

[IWannaBeSkinny 0]

I told everyone at work to head off any rumors, sure enough when I got back one of my friends had told everyone I went in for a sexchange operation, asshole.

Friend?!? with him who needs enemies

[haroldrussi 0]

I have only told family, boss, and BF but will tell others after WLS is done and I have started losing weight

Edited January 6, 2009 by haroldrussi

[TQUAD64 9]

I did not tell my friends or co-workers. The only person in my family who knows is my sister. The reason I told my sister was just in case I died. I trust her to help my adult children through difficult situations when I am not around.

I took two weeks vacation time off. I am on FMLA, so I can go to my follow up medical appointments as necessary. Usually, just one appoinment per month.

[Blueeyesinca95 0]

People are cruel that is true. I am just fortunate to not have many of those around me right now which is a blessing. I have told everyone I work with and they are all on the countdown with me. I work in the medical field so maybe this is a little easier for them to all comprehend. I have support from everyone around me and have been fortunate enough to not have any negatives so far. I know there will come a time that I do hear those things but its only because those people arent comfortable with who they are. I am happy for all of us on here making this decision. The only one who has to like the decision is ourselves. Congrats and good luck to everyone!

[kaytiebugs 0]

My initial thought was that I was going to tell everyone. Then I had a run in with a judgemental B#$%H... then a second one... and at that point I said "FORGET THIS!" and I stopped telling people. The people that judged me were acquaintances so I politely asked that they not tell anyone. It's been a lot easier. I've been at my job for 5 years and I'm close enough with my supervisors to feel comfortable being honest with them. I talk about it with a small handful of friends at work. Most of my family and my husbands family know.

You think (not *YOU*... just you in general) that you are prepared for the criticism, the scrutany, the people asking questions, the judgements, the explaining yourself, etc...... but it's different when it actually happens.

If you know certain people are judgemental and fit the above description, you may want to avoid telling them. But remember this- at the end of the day, YOU are the strong one. THEY are the ones that are insecure and feel the need to belittle people to make themselves feel better.

Sorry if I sound bitter... I had a run in today with one of the two people that made me feel this way today. She asked me the same questions that she asked me previously that made me not want to tell people. I wish I never told her.

[julestoyou 0]

Hey Katiebugs,

SCREW HER! She is not your friend. I am so glad I did not tell a lot of people as trust me I wanted to everytime I had a victory. But I am so glad I didn't as there is no stress of other people MONITORING everything you put in your mouth or how much or when you eat. It is a sport or pass time for them as they obviously don't have this particular cross to bare.

Hang in there. Even my husband asks me too often how am I doing. That is bad enough but I can just say Please quit asking or questioning what I just ate.

BE STRONG. This is NOT the easy way out, IT IS for 99% of us the only way out of getting any control over this addiction.

:tongue2:

[Deb A 0]

I have the psych/nutrition consult tomorrow, so I haven't actually been banded yet, but hope to be soon. I have told my husband and his brother, my boss and most of my coworkers. I have not told my family or friends, as I live fairly far away and want to surprise them when they see me again. I feel my parents would try to talk me out of it, because (SARCASTICALLY) "as you know, it's just a matter of willpower, Deb..." which is what they've always told me all my life. I constantly had the "you don't really need a second piece, do you?" and mom would serve me obviously smaller servings than my siblings all the time. So even though they want the best for me, it's best they not know until after it's done so they can't try to talk me out of it. I told my coworkers because many of them are in the same boat as me (somewhat overweight, though not as much as me) and we're all pretty close.

I remember when I was on one of my many "diets" and losing weight (which I gained back and then some), my family and friends seemed to be monitoring what I ate and reminding me of how "well" I was doing and that I "should be careful of what I eat so as to not gain back what I lost". I don't need that again.

I guess it depends on your own family dynamics as to whom you tell. Good luck with your decision.