I know this sounds like a silly question, but please bear with us.

My girlfriend, who doesn't like computers, has asked me to post this question on her behalf.

She has only had one adjustment, and it seems to be doing a little for her, but only a very little, in terms of keeping her full longer *when she eats per the prescribed procedure*, i.e. Proteins first, no liquids, etc.

Here's the problem. She fully and freely acknowledges that she is absolutely not "working the band", i.e. she's not sticking to the diet. She's eating the unadvisable foods, she's eating "too much" of them, she's having liquids with her meals, and so on.

Now, we *know* this is not the advised course of action, so please no judgmental or shaming comments. But here's the question.

She wonders if she should get an adjustment anyway. The theory being that, even if she eats non-protein items like a salad, it will still help her a good bit, rather than the little bit of help she's getting now.

Is it true that you're fuller longer almost regardless of what you eat (excepting ice cream and the like) because there's less room for whatever you take in?

I hope this helps. I have not been "working the band" 100% either. I try my best but I inevitably screw up. I got my first fill last month and yes it did help. I might still be eating some of the wrong foods but whereas I used to be able to eat alot, I can now only eat about half of that amount, sometimes less. And since the fill, I'm satisfied with that amount. What I eat keeps me from getting hungry again for at least 4 hours. I don't measure my food and I know I eat more than a cup. I still love Chinese food and pasta. But since the fill, I can be happy with 4 bites of general tso's or a small serving of pasta when I used to eat 2 platefuls. I think "working the band" is different for everyone. No, I'm not following all the rules on a daily basis but I've made changes in my eating habits that I never would have made without the band. Getting the band is a major step and everyone adjusts to that differently. As long as your girlfriend knows these things she's already on the right track. And she's lucky to have you supporting her. I may have only been banded a few months, but I've got the rest of my life to adjust to it. :angry_smile:

JULIEM81... There is something you might want to consider in that approach... I have read, from many different sources, that the first 18 months post-banding is the "prime time" for weight loss. Your body will adjust to the band like everything else and weight loss will become much harder long-term. From that perspective, times' a wastin'.... Perhaps some long-time banders who have more experience can comment on this.

Brad

I know this sounds like a silly question, but please bear with us.

My girlfriend, who doesn't like computers, has asked me to post this question on her behalf.

She has only had one adjustment, and it seems to be doing a little for her, but only a very little, in terms of keeping her full longer *when she eats per the prescribed procedure*, i.e. Proteins first, no liquids, etc.

Here's the problem. She fully and freely acknowledges that she is absolutely not "working the band", i.e. she's not sticking to the diet. She's eating the unadvisable foods, she's eating "too much" of them, she's having liquids with her meals, and so on.

Now, we *know* this is not the advised course of action, so please no judgmental or shaming comments. But here's the question.

She wonders if she should get an adjustment anyway. The theory being that, even if she eats non-Protein items like a salad, it will still help her a good bit, rather than the little bit of help she's getting now.

Is it true that you're fuller longer almost regardless of what you eat (excepting ice cream and the like) because there's less room for whatever you take in?

With out all the extras. The answer is yes. The more restriction you have the less you will be able to get in, unless you expand your tummy. But it is not healthy as you guys already know. But hell what is healthy now a days!!!!

Here is a short answer, YES, get the fill.

Here's my opinion:

She can get the fill and see how she likes it, if it causes her to be too tight that she is not able to eat well, then she can go back and get some taken out

That's the beauty of the band.

The bad part is, if she eats poorly without getting enough Protein, she will suffer with health problems...hair loss is one of them.

I do not know what else she is eating to comment more on that.

On the salad part, you don't want to get full off salad. It's better to get full on chicken. Has she tried rotisserie chicken? It's good.

There are things you can do without getting a fill to feel less hungry like staying away from sugar, because all it does is spike your insulin and tricks your mind into wanting more.

If you need some great recipes, let me know. I was really hestitant to try them and now I prefer them to what I used to eat. I used to be really stubborn about my food, too.

I struggle with food addiction and know my trigger foods. You don't have to abstain, you just have to be aware of them and know the consequences of eating them. Let me know if I can help.

Edited December 10, 200817 yr by Just Banded

OK, I'll bite and be the proverbial bad guy.

Why did she even get the band in the first place? Yeah, I can understand someone slipping up every now and then and eating the wrong things, but when someone knowingly and willingly violates the rules of the band, then it is really hard for me to have sympathy for them. What that tells me is that 1.) they were not prepared for this journey to begin with; and 2.) they shouldn't have had the band placed until they were ready.

The psychologist that pronounced your girlfriend "ready" should find another line of work.

The band is a tool. Nothing more, nothing less. It is there to create a small pouch that will enable us to hold a miniscule amount of food, compared to what we were eating prior to having bariatric surgery. Now, with that tool, we can choose to eat the same kinds of crap that we ate before that got us into this mess, or we can choose to eat good, healthy foods that will enable us to shed the pounds that break down our hips, knees and give us high blood pressure, diabetes, and every other malady known to morbidly obese people.

My surgeon likes to call the band the "thinking persons weight loss surgery" because, unlike other procedures, having a band leaves you with every choice you had prior to surgery. It requires you to become smarter to make it succeed.

I like that.

Yeah, we all bend the rules every now and then and have a scoop of ice cream or something to that effect. But it is the exception, and not the rule.

The rules say Protein is a mainstay of our diets. Why? Because we want to lose weight the right way. Without protein, the weight we lose is lean muscle mass. Protein keeps our lean muscle mass built up and helps ensure we lose the right way. The rules say we eat protein first. Why? In case we can't get anything else in, we've gotten our protein. The rules say we don't drink with our meals. Why? Because it washes everything we just ate straight through and it doesn't stay with us. The rules say we eat a certain amount of food at a sitting. Why? Prolonged overeating of amounts will stretch the pouch and negate any effect of the pouch, thus reducing/eliminating weight loss.

Rules. Now I remember why we have them... for structure and discipline.

Your girlfriend can run to her doctor (or every other fill doctor in the country, for that matter) and tighten that band until hell freezes over, but it still will not compensate for her poor behavior choices. Therein lies the key.

I'm sorry, but I've had this band for 5 years. I've been highly successful with my band. I've coached others along who have the band and have spoken at various support groups as well. You would not believe the numbers of people who approach me and attempt to justify poor behaviors and choices all in the name of an unwillingness to modify their lifestyles and once and for all -- get healthy! They want sympathy, but sympathy doesn't get the job done. It just tells them more of what they want to hear as opposed to telling them what they don't want to hear.

Your girlfriend has a choice to make. Nobody here can make it for her. Unfortunately for her, the main choice is not whether to go and get a fill. Yeah, she could probably use one, but it's not the primary need at this point. The choice is whether or not she wants to change her choices and modify her lifestyle or not. If not, she needs to rethink why she even got the band at all.

Yeah, some here are going to think this sounds harsh, but reality is oft times harsh when you take a step back and look at it in unvarnished terms. I'd rather be thought of in this manner now, and maybe have her thank me down the road because I opened her eyes than to pat her on the back and give her misinformation that only leads her further down a road of misery and lack of success.

The nutritionist should be her first stop, coupled with a therapist to help modify the behaviors. I'm not so worried about adjustments at this point. Mind you, I'm not saying one cannot enjoy the "sinful" pleasures every now and then, but if she is engaged in the true life/death struggle with weight that the majority of us are, those indulgences should be few and far between, based on her current behaviors and struggles.

I'll probably get bashed for this post, but so be it. Underneath the tough talk, I really am for your girlfriends success with her band. Good luck!

I think it's great that you have done so well but I am pretty sure you were not asked. Those of you who come on here to judge and put others down who have not gotten it obviously use this board as a means to heighten something lacking in your self esteem. If you are so great and without flaw than why would you get a lap band??

I think it's great that you have done so well but I am pretty sure you were not asked. Those of you who come on here to judge and put others down who have not gotten it obviously use this board as a means to heighten something lacking in your self esteem. If you are so great and without flaw than why would you get a lap band??

Sometimes/most times its not so much what we say but how we say it. Though I think both parties have very valid points WE ALL ARE FAR FROM PERFECT AND "DISCIPLINED," BECAUSE IF WE WERE WHY WOULD WE NEED THE BAND IN THE FIRST PLACE???? I have found the people on this website to be soooo encouraging and informative, for the most part and theres always some one out there that can relate.....I just hope the girl doesnt get discouraged and come down too hard on herself....if its any consulation (?) I was banded Nov 13th and I still struggle with my eating, granted everyday it really does get better and better. Yes even my "discipline". It just comes with researching (the different forums) and experimenting...for me its just teaching the tricks of eating healthy....like try an apple with Peanut Butter before your meal....talking about restriction! and oatmeal in the morning and a cup of coffee does it for me from 8am til 12....thats just me....everybody has to learn how/what to eat for themselves, just dont give up and try to really give it some effort......REMEMBER ITS ABOUT UR OWN EFFORTS AND UR OWN PACE AND WHAT ULTIMATELY WORKS FOR YOU.....THE BAND IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!!! SO MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU!!! GOD BLESS US ALL!

First, I agree 100% with Hoosier Tom's post. In fact, if it's possible to agree 150%, then that's where I'm at right now.

If you really think it's about, (quoting your self-satisfied comment), "structure and discipline", you may be far less informed about the emotional component of this condition than you seem superbly proud to think.

Of course it's about "structure and discipline". What else would it be about? You can always cheat on a diet - band or no band. Unless you're locked in a room and someone else is feeding you exactly what you need to eat every single day for the rest of your life, then you will need to learn structure and discipline, first and foremost, in order to be successful wth the band.

Of course we all have emotional problems when it comes to food - that's why we're all fat! But making the decision to get the band should have been the first step towards self-healing as far as emotional eating goes. And once you have the band, if you find yourself slipping back into old habits, it's up to you to get help. Don't look for sympathy elsewhere, because that won't kick your ass back into gear.

I think it's great that you have done so well but I am pretty sure you were not asked. Those of you who come on here to judge and put others down who have not gotten it obviously use this board as a means to heighten something lacking in your self esteem. If you are so great and without flaw than why would you get a lap band??

He got a lap band because he needed help losing weight. So he got some help, had surgery on his stomach, addressed his problems with emotional eating, got himself some good structure and discipline, and he lost all that damned weight! And he's proud of it! And who wouldn't be proud of it????

People on this website are way too nice sometimes if you ask me. "Oh it's OK, you'll do better tomorrow, cheer up honey!". No, that's not how it is. When someone says they've been eating ice cream every day for a month, you don't tell them it's OK, we've all fallen off the wagon, and you'll be fine tomorrow. You tell them to get off their ass and recognize that they did this to themselves for a reason, and they need to reevaluate that reason and put their ass in gear heading in the right direction!

We all had SURGERY for crying out loud. SURGERY!!! To help us correct the problem with eating too much and eating too often...SURGERY!!!!! So why in the Holy Hell would one sabotage himself or herself by eating bad foods? Are you an idiot? Do you like the pain of surgery? Do you like having to crush your pills because you can't swallow them whole? Do you like not having any types of carbonated beverages - ever again - for the rest of your life? How about not drinking through a straw?

All the changes you have to make in order to have the band, not to mention all the things you have to go through to get there, and the money (for some of us, LOTS of money) that you spend on the surgery - I for one can't understand why someone would go through all of that only to chuck it all and make poor decisions.

I'm not saying it's wrong to have a bowl of ice cream or a slice of pizza. Hell, once you've reached your goal and are simply maintaining your weight, you can probably have it once a week! But while you're still losing weight, you need to kick yourself in the ass every day and remind yourself of all that you went through. You went through TOO MUCH to be washing it down the drain with bad food choices. Structure. Discipline. If you want to be successful, you have to have structure and discipline.

OK, I'm stepping off my soapbox now. Have a great day everyone!

So why in the Holy Hell would one sabotage himself or herself by eating bad foods? Are you an idiot? Do you like the pain of surgery? Do you like having to crush your pills because you can't swallow them whole? Do you like not having any types of carbonated beverages - ever again - for the rest of your life? How about not drinking through a straw?

Your post wasn't bothering me until you got here...Sometimes you self sabotage because you're affraid...sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it! I don't think calling someone an idiot is going to "kick them into gear"...in fact they'll be more likely to eat even more crappy foods. I don't have to crush my pills and I can drink through a straw. Bashing someone for their mistakes isn't going to help them. Yes some people on here are too nice, but some people on here are also way too mean. It's people calling others idiots and other names that may cause them to turn to their old friend food...sometimes a little compassion can help push someone in the right direction. Nothing in life worth having comes easily...When she's ready to change and to eat right she will...no one is going to be able to get her to change her ways until she is ready...maybe she asked him to come on here for her so she could get some motivation...some "yeah that happened to me here's somethings I did" or some "We've all been there one time or another...we're here for you!" Just try to stay away from name calling...it just really bothers me...No one is perfect and crap happens...push on and do your best! Take care and good luck everyone!!!

i just want to pull something out from the OP's original comment about his girlfriend:

The theory being that, even if she eats non-protein items like a salad, it will still help her a good bit, rather than the little bit of help she's getting now.

never read ice cream / pizza / soda in any of this - talking salad. a healthy item, something that should be part of a balance diet.

now i realize tom has some good points regarding discipline & structure - but like jachut i too would be considered a band failure by his standards. these rules; well i find annoying that someone would tell me that i'm breaking a rule that wasn't even mandated on myself. i too am self pay; and for the first time ever i took to a structured / discipline approach to banding. even in maintenance mode i still journal my food and exercise daily.

perfect NO - but that's not what i signed up for with the band. portion control and to re-tool a healthy life sytle was just the nudge i needed.

my recommendation was and is for this posters girlfriend is to find a balanced diet that works long term - that includes breaking away everynow and then for a treat. it's not all or nothing here.

i just want to pull something out from the OP's original comment about his girlfriend:

The theory being that, even if she eats non-protein items like a salad, it will still help her a good bit, rather than the little bit of help she's getting now.

never read ice cream / pizza / soda in any of this - talking salad. a healthy item, something that should be part of a balance diet.

With regards to this portion of your post, I have to say that I used pizza and ice cream as examples based on this part of his statement: She's eating the unadvisable foods, she's eating "too much" of them, she's having liquids with her meals, and so on. Personally I think pizza and ice cream are unadvisable foods. That doesn't mean I don't crave them nearly every day. Sometimes I even dream about them, LOL.

Also, I'm sorry about the name calling. I just really get frustrated when people fail themselves after going through all that they did to get the band. The band doesn't fail you, you fail the band, and that really bothers me! I shouldn't have used some of those words, but they're out there now.

Regardless of what she eat, after a fill hopefully she will eat less of it. Since she has this tool IMHO she should use it by getting a fill when needed.

I agree, the definition of kindness often gets skewed here. I don't find it kind to gloss over the truth, hand hold and soothe someone who is getting in their own way. I would rather hold up a mirror, and reassure the person they can do it. I've been bashed pretty hard here for that line of thinking though. Its not popular to hold someone's feet to the fire.

I have no advice to offer the OP. I am too new on this journey and only myself beginning to discover how to deal with my head issues and make the band work for me. I struggle when I see people determined to still eat the same way they did before the band and then blame the band for their failures. I don't think the OP gave enough info to know if this is the case. Frankly, I think she needs to speak to her physician and nutritionist and go from there.

One needs to be prepared when putting a question out on the Internet for the whole world to literally read, interpret, judge and respond that all kinds of responses are going to be given. If not prepared to handle that, don't put it out there. There are a lot of definitions for the word "support". I don't find coddling to be helpful for anyone. I think we as fat people often bash ourselves so hard for our own behavior that we think nobody else should then be allowed to say anything to us. Problem is, we aren't listening to ourselves. But we might listen to someone else. And the self esteem problems we have can twist words into things that are not actually being said. I see that here a lot.

I think few people follow the band rules perfectly. I have noticed though that those who are the most successful do tend to follow a few crucial ones. They eat with an eye toward nutrition. They exercise on a regular basis. They watch portion sizes. And most of all, they persevere. They don't give up. I think most have had an eventful journey full of slips ups and learning from those. Far be it from me to deny anyone should fail their way forward...I sure do. But if someone asks the board what they are doing wrong or for an opinion, and then opinions are given, its a little bit silly to get upset when they are not necessarily the ones someone wants to hear. Any time someone reads something here that makes them feel bad inside, provided it is not full of personal insults, perhaps one should look for the little piece of truth that is niggling at them rather than getting mad? Usually there's a reason for feeling defensive. I learn a lot about myself when I take my ego out of it and just listen. I don't want anyone telling me its okay if I don't feel like doing what I need to do to meet my goals and if I don't feel like following doctor's orders. To me, support in those moments means having someone be brave enough to give it to me honest and straight. There's no need to be blatantly mean, but there's no need to feed me lies either. Its NOT okay to self sabotage. Its just not.

All i have to say is "amen". That was a wonderful eye opener. I think i needed that too! Lol

It can take 2-3-4 or more fills to get to the sweet spot. First fill generally does "nothing". Keep getting fills as needed. Trust me....even if you WANT to, you CAN'T eat too much if you have proper fill. It's not a single step process tho. You have to stay on top of it.