now with all the weightloss I am going to have....my wife and I were throwing around the idea.....anyone ever have one? how did it all come about? just curious....

Hi,

I just read the post and don't think that threesomes or any group sex are ok for married people. I am bisexual and have been with both sexes but never at the same time. I am currently married and would never have a threesome involving anyone at this point in time but especially my spouse even though that is what he wants. The reason I haven't and won't do it is because I care about my partner enough not to. I know for a fact that seeing your partner enjoying someone else sexually, whether it was planned or not, really hurts them and can evoke jealousy and alot of pain whether they think they are ready or not. If, on the other hand, you were single, then the choice is yours but since you are married you have to think about how your wife would feel, both the good and the bad. If you really want to go through with it just ask yourself this question: Am I willing to lose my wife for one night of sexual pleasure? This is the worst case scenario but it does happen. Good luck to you no matter what happens.

What kind of rules do you set, what are the things that should be okay to do and the ones are not okay???

For my husband and I, rule #1 is we always "play together or not at all". This is a huge, unbreakable rule! We use condoms, we don't risk it. We also have a code word that can be used if we aren't comfortable with the situation, it is agreed that no matter what is happening, everything will stop if that word is said. We also keep good eye contact with each other. We both agree that we are in this for the pure pleasure of having sex and not to have a deep, romantic relationship with someone other than our spouse. We also have a rule that the women do the contacting; we don't have the man calling the other woman to try and set something up. Women call each other and then include the guys in the conversation and arrangements. We also must meet the couple in advance in a neutral, public place and get to know each other before anything else. We don't have jealousy and we don't have flings. We do this together!

Each couple decides what rules work for them and make sure that the other couple understand up front. This lifestyle works for us.

It is tough to find a couple that everything clicks, so don't be discouraged if it isn't successful the first time. Good luck!

Thanks for the tips, I don't think I will be doing the swapping but a threesome sounds interesting, it takes a lot to actually do it so I am just soaking in information and learning to be cautious. Thank you!

Can u guys try to keep these forums for lapband discussions, please? We are supposed to be talking about our experiences and the journey we are taking. You are turning this into a meeting place for sexual activity. Why dont u try going onto websites that advertise for that stuff? This is not the place.

Can u guys try to keep these forums for lapband discussions, please? We are supposed to be talking about our experiences and the journey we are taking. You are turning this into a meeting place for sexual activity. Why dont u try going onto websites that advertise for that stuff? This is not the place.

Look, this isn't my bag of tea either (something I want to do), but it IS an off-topic board that you chose to come onto. If you don't like the non-lap band topic, move elsewhere.

Look, this isn't my bag of tea either (something I want to do), but it IS an off-topic board that you chose to come onto. If you don't like the non-lap band topic, move elsewhere.

Besides who wants to ONLY talk abot the band? That can get pretty boring after a while.

If people choose to meet here regarding the band or any other topic unless they are not harming you or offending you is should stay out of the thread if its not you cup of tea. Funny you don't like this subject but yet have time to come in read the post and respond.

Got that right!

I just don't understand people who walk into an X-rated store and then complain about all the dirty stuff. :biggrin:

I too have been fantasizing about another person or couple into trying new things. I think weight loss has made me definatly hornier!

I know when I lost weight in the past it certainly did that to me too (the hornier part, not the threesome/couples part, lol)! :biggrin:

I find myself wondering when I see a couple ar a good looking guy if they might be into the fantasy. I agree it needs to planned out good. I wouldnt want any jelous issues to come out. Also the persons would have to be clean and of equal good looks.

No, but I had a girlfriend that approached me about it. She kept pressuring me and pressuring me and I was in no way interested. She had a new boyfriend who was taking her to "the next level" and I guess she wanted me to experience what she was experiencing. I ended up so annoyed I told my husband. Big mistake. Although he knows I was not interested, he no longer trusts me to go anywhere with my friend. She ended up breaking up with the boyfriend and she was glad I didn't not participate....he was married.:biggrin:

I would want to have my husband be there for the entire time and if he had a girl too he wouldnt feel left out. I woulnt want any intercourse just rubbing and using toys. But I think your spouse has to be your priority durring the entire event, lest any jelous issues pop up.

Can u guys try to keep these forums for lapband discussions, please? We are supposed to be talking about our experiences and the journey we are taking. You are turning this into a meeting place for sexual activity. Why dont u try going onto websites that advertise for that stuff? This is not the place.

#1 this has to do with the bad. After you lose the weight you have to have NSV. #2 if you dont like the topic dont read it. So YES this is an experience and a journey that I want to take after losing all the weight.

gosh people make me sick when they dont like something they have to stop others when they have full complete control over what they click on, listen to or read.