Ok, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this question, but my husband really wants to know, and I know you all will give us honest answers. How long is normal for a guy to last during sex? My husband is almost 40 and he's worried that he doesn't last very long. (I have no complaints, however, because he always satisfies me in other ways). I would also love to hear from the guys on this one.

Antidepressants really do mess up the sex life. I am sorry for all you have gone through, Green.

I recently got my dr. to prescribe testosterone cream which is supposed to be applied to the clitoris area. From what I have read, this will help with orgasms. I have high hopes this is going to work.

my guy is 20...and lasts maybe 5 minutes.....sometimes a bit longer if we have been doing it frequently. No foreplay and he doesn't seem to care that I'm not getting off anymore...and we never go more than once...it usually takes him a few hours or up to a day to "Re-charge"....:bolt:

Antidepressants really do mess up the sex life. I am sorry for all you have gone through, Green.

I recently got my dr. to prescribe testosterone cream which is supposed to be applied to the clitoris area. From what I have read, this will help with orgasms. I have high hopes this is going to work.

I have heard that can work, but be careful. One of the possible side effects is that it can cause that area to grow out similar to a small penis. I am sure that doesn't happen to everyone, but it is a possibility. I hope that it works wonders for you.

my guy is 20...and lasts maybe 5 minutes.....sometimes a bit longer if we have been doing it frequently. No foreplay and he doesn't seem to care that I'm not getting off anymore...and we never go more than once...it usually takes him a few hours or up to a day to "Re-charge"....:bolt:

Um, he's 20? As long as you are content with that, then that's great. Otherwise, I suggest now would be the time to nurture/lead/teach (in a very unthreatening to his male ego kind of way) that there can be more. IMO you are missing out on a lot!

DH is in his 60's, and he'll be delighted to discover he is doing significantly better than a 20 year old!

Um, he's 20? As long as you are content with that, then that's great. Otherwise, I suggest now would be the time to nurture/lead/teach (in a very unthreatening to his male ego kind of way) that there can be more. IMO you are missing out on a lot!

DH is in his 60's, and he'll be delighted to discover he is doing significantly better than a 20 year old!

Ugh...women have to do all the work lol :bolt:

But hey in the overall it IS fun work!!!!! And well worth it---whether he remains in the picture or not, as you teach him, you learn new things about yourself, which is ALWAYS helpful!!!

Kat

But hey in the overall it IS fun work!!!!! And well worth it---whether he remains in the picture or not, as you teach him, you learn new things about yourself, which is ALWAYS helpful!!!

Kat

You betcha!!

As soon as I get mine it can't end soon enough. I am a selfish kind of girl.

Yep! DH now can go anywhere between 5-10 minutes to about 40. I hate the 40 minute sessions. He thinks he's king of the world and I'm just thinking about laundry, dishes...etc. It usually takes me about 5-10 minutes. After that, it's probably just not going to happen, no matter how much I "help" it along. And I like "helping".:w00t:

Ugh...women have to do all the work lol

It took me a long time to learn that, but it is fun once you get confident about it. I always thought guys were supposed to know, but no. Sadly, there are very few things they know.

Also, I was always shy and never outright about what I wanted, but the guys always were. No matter what they look like, how they're feeling, they'll whip it out, or put my hand where they want it...I just learned to do the same thing. Made it sooo much better.

No matter what they look like, how they're feeling, they'll whip it out, or put my hand where they want it...I just learned to do the same thing. Made it sooo much better.

Even though I have been with my DH for 15 years, I still can't do that. Once he wanted me to "dance" for him, I was so uncomfortable:blushing: that I cried:cry_smile:. It really hurt his feelings and mines. How did you build the confidence to do that?

Ironically, it was low self esteem!

There was a guy that I wanted to be with so badly, and he was a complete dick. He strung me a long and I'd do ANYTHING for him, so I did. He got a kick out of me being embarassed by it. We did it all. Anything you've read or seen we did it -except for the feces thing...never did, nor would have done that.

So, after all that being beaten down, he dumped me and I was more experienced sexually. I loved sex by then, knew how to get what I wanted and I never looked back.

So, after all that being beaten down, he dumped me and I was more experienced sexually.

Hell, I dated him too! I did date a guy just like that, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on me. Before I dated that guy, I was ok with sex, now even though I still love sex, I can't stand myself. My DH doesn't mind seeing "all" of me in the crazy hooker/slut outfits, but I would shy away. I always catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It ruined MY desire.

my guy is 20...and lasts maybe 5 minutes.....sometimes a bit longer if we have been doing it frequently. No foreplay and he doesn't seem to care that I'm not getting off anymore...and we never go more than once...it usually takes him a few hours or up to a day to "Re-charge"....

If he doesn't care whether you are being satisfied, then trust me, he's not a keeper. This will prevail to other areas of your lives.

I also couldn't get there with penetration until I was in my late 20's. I was dating a guy who said he'd teach me. I never thought it possible. It's still not easy for me, but I can do it often enough to make DH feel like a stud. LOL

Is there a trick to it?

I was only able to climax by penetration but I could do this super easily. Now that I am on anti-depressants I don't climax at all. On the other hand, I am pretty cheerful even though I no longer have a sex drive. I fake it now for the husband's sake. I figure that it is the least I can do.

Does anybody else see anything wrong with this picture?

Honey, don't fake!! You are robbing him and yourself. So you can't cum! So what? Sex isn't about the orgasm. Orgasm is great and fun and all, but its not the be all and end all of sex. Sex is so much more. Faking it means you are saying its OK to lie to your partner.

I'm glad you said something, because I was thinking the same thing! I used to fake ALL the time with one of my exboyfriend's. I just couldn't have an orgasm and he would get mad. So I just started faking it. But now I see how bad that was. I have never faked with my husband. If I can't do it, then I just can't.