So, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. I was dead set that I was doing the lap band and was starting to mentally prepare myself, but my therapist has brought up a lot of doubts and questions. She feels like I need to make the psychological change first and maybe try Phentermine to help with this. Well, I can't try this until I get my blood pressure down. So, I'm kind of stuck. I keep trying to diet on my own to exhaust all of my options because I'm scared to make the life change. I'm scared to break my lifetime relationship with food. Will I be able to not drink water during meals? What happens if I do? Will I chew things up enough so I don't get sick? Right now I gulp food down. I just got back from a month in Africa. What will I do when I travel? Will I be able to find things that I can eat? Maybe I am just thinking of these things to talk myself out of doing it and making the commitment, but I am truly scared and I'm not sure if this is the right thing for me. Help!! Thanks!

Hi there--

well there are a lot of things to consider when making this decision...your age, your weight/BMI, how long you have been overweight, etc. I did not try weight loss drugs prior to being banded, but I had tried every diet know to man!! I was able to lose many times, but always gained it back. The problem with meds is that once you stop taking the medication, what is to stop you from gaining it back. Having the lapband has not been easy--following the rules etc...but that being said, I don't regret it. How long have you been seing your therapist? Is she guiding your thoughts or is she making suggestions?

Good luck with your decision

It is a rollercoaster. But at some point and time you will decide that the need to get this taken care of is greater than the other thoughts. You have to have faith in yourself and also use the support group on here. You can do this! Yes you won't be able to have the relationship with food that you once had. I have tried over the last 6 months to not drink while I eat. It's really not that bad...if you kinda prepare yourself for it and actually try it...you'll find that the love of yourself out weighs the love of food. I'm totally in this ship with you. I have these thoughts all the time...the only thing that is my saving grace is the support on this website.

I understand exactly how you feel, I think you're going through a lot of the fears and doubts that many of us went through before surgery. And I'm certainly not going to second guess your therapist, who is a professional and who knows you. I will just say that in my personal opinion, those of us who are miserable enough to actually consider having surgery to help us lose weight, have already been through lots of diets and lots of failed efforts to lose weight any other way.

As for your fears..... I was terrified about making a life change too. I'm just over 2 months past surgery and am finding that I built it out of proportion. It's been a very happy, positive life change. Not drinking with meals has taken some getting used to, but I just remind myself that I want to get the biggest advantage possible out of the band, i.e. feeling satisfied on less food, so I don't want to sabotage that by washing the food thru my stomach with liquids. It didn't take much to learn to chew. Which, in turn, helped me learn to eat slower. Which has taught me to savor every bite instead of inhaling it. Which has also helped me recognize that I am full, sooner than I used to.

For me, the whole thing about "you won't be able to eat this, you won't be able to eat that", didn't happen. I can eat anyhing I want, and I wouldn't be concerned about being able to find foods I can eat in other countries. (Other people might have a problem, though.... we're each different in how we react to the band).

So far my whole experience since surgery has been, well, not half the big deal I made out of it prior to surgery. Again, that's just my own experience.

Hi there, don't go on Phentrimine you will just gain the weight back. At least that is what I have done over the years. Make a committment and get banded. Everything will fall into place. I just know it. I will be banded this coming Thursday July 31st and I am so committed to doing this I cannot tell you. You will be happy with yourself if you decide and do it and the questions you have will fall into place. Good luck, Debbie

I went struggled with a lot of these same questions but I think in the end, for me it came down to what was most important for me. I am just at the beginning of the process, I am hoping to have the surgery late Sept/early Oct. but my nutritionist has already got me practicing these habits of not drinking with meals and chewing my food. I am hoping that it will help after I have had the surgery but it is a lot to get used to. There is great support here, I have learned a lot even just from reading what other people have posted! Your surgery center may have support groups as well. I am required to attend them and they have been extremely beneficial as well. Good luck with your choice. :teeth_smile:

For each person the lap band is different. Remember, it is adjustable. If you are too loose, it can be tightened. Your biggest problem may be it's not doing much initially. You'll lose a bit of weight immediately before and after surgery mostly due to dietary limitations. After your recovery is complete, until you are tightened and attain restriction the lap band won't be doing much of anything.

Once restricted, portions of most foods will be limited, and your relation with liquids will need to change. People with lap bands can cheat. One method is washing stuff down, another method is drinking high calorie liquid or near liquid stuff. For example, I can down as much ice cream as I want, but 3 McNuggets is my limit. Each person experiences the band differently. Your goal should be to follow the diet and lose weight.

Without doing any exercise (knee injury after surgery) and without much in the way of trying to diet (other than following the basic rules most of the time, with the exception of occasional departures), my weight is down 75 lbs in a bit over 6 months.

If you ask yourself, would it be worth it to lose weight without having to try very hard? What would your answer be? I don't know how much weight you have to lose, and know my loss isn't typical, however some have lost more. It is normal to be afraid of surgery, and the lap band does change your relationship with food.

Even after many months of being on a restricted diet, I productively burped twice today. I'm more restricted in the morning, and for some reason today beverage and my morning meds were too much for my stomach.

Another thing to consider is relationship to coffee. Some are very addicted to the stuff but don't know it. If you withdraw a coffee addict from it suddenly, there will be the potential for severe headaches and vomiting. For me personally, coffee has become poison. It is different for each person. My suggestion based on personal experience is to try and limit some nasty addictions prior to lap band surgery. In my case, coffee turned out to be an unexpected problem. It may be very different for you.

For years my suffering with weight seemed to be my fault, and there was no relief. Today, I'm on my way, not to a skinny person, but to a person who isn't morbidly obese. What is that worth to any of us?

When you talk about having a relationship with food, its obviously been a toxic relationship as its caused you to be overweight and have high blood pressure and untold other problems your body hasn't exhibited yet. This kind of relationship, you can do without. Instead, think of food after banding, as a pleasure, as you can take time to enjoy it, aiding you to taste it more thoroughly. The benefits to your health will be immense and you can truly love yourself for the fit and healthy person you have become instead of a person who takes refuge in food. If you always do what you've done, you will always get what you've got!!!!! Be brave, take the step and look onward and upward. Time for change is here!! YOU CAN DO THIS!

Edited July 28, 200818 yr by BLUEZBANDIT

I too had all of the worries, freak outs and questions. I'm scheduled to get evaluated in Sept. but I have been on this site listening to everyone and learning as much as I can about the positive and the complications etc...The food relationship was my real worry(come on its fun to go pig out once in a while on your favorite foods) BUT I started to think about how I feel afterwards each time and its not good. I am so looking forward to getting on with this process but I am glad its slower then faster because I am feeling more and more positive that I am making the right decision!

Thank you for all of the good advice. I think that I'm just going through all of the ups and downs of the process. My therapist is trying to make sure that I am ready. She knows how many diets I've started and stopped and wants to make sure that this isn't just something I'm doing and am not committed to. So, I guess that my thoughts are that I feel committed now, but will I once it is done and I am stuck with it for life and it doesn't work. I know it is just a tool and I have to do my part, so I am hoping that it will be a good choice for me. The fact that I have developed diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heel problems all in the last year should be an immediate yes! My goal would be to loose 110 pounds. That is also daunting, which has hurt me in th past. I know I need to focus on a little at a time! Thanks again!

And truth be told i'm dealing with a lot of the emotions you are. I am taking alli, as I have to loose 13 pounds in 8 weeks. I'm so close now it's not even funny (my 8 weeks are up the 6th of August). If I don't make it my journey will be so much longer. So I'm working overtime on it right now. Alli is a brutal drug if you don't stick to the suggested diet with it. I've had a few "OOPS" moments. But all in all it's helping. Mostly I see a lot of differences in my body shape already... by my scale i've lost 16 pounds. But I'm so afraid to gain it back I'm still taking it. Probably will until just before surgery.

Do you have support groups that are local you could go to? They really have helped me a ton! Unfortunately I have to miss this month's general appt. I may try to go to the surgery specific one later in the month.

Good luck wiht your decisions....

Teri:regular_smile:

I live in NJ and am going through a program called "New Beginnings" before surgery(its a requirement if I use this specific Doctor). I can't start until my evaluation but you meet with a nutritionist therapist and theres support groups I am very excited!!

DO NOT do phentermine! My insurance company doesn't even cover it because of the dangers of taking it. However, I did take it about 5 years ago and I did lose 40lbs. However, once I stopped taking it I gained it all back and then some. It is not a life-long solution and that is what you are looking for right? That drug can do some major damage to your body if you take it for long periods of time. I urge you not to take it especially if you have a history of high blood pressure.

I am not saying have the surgery but just don't take the phentermine.

Just my opinion.

travelinsnorkel I have carried my weight longer than you have been alive so my toxic relationship with food has gone on for 35 years and have the same to lose as you. Just knowing my health and fitness will be improved greatly makes it an easy decision. You wont regret it, just from my reading on here, if there are any problems its only for a few months (they call it bandster hell) then its just part of your lifestyle. Sure we can still have our favourite things, although it will be one piece of chocolate instead of the whole block. Everything will be in moderation. Only about 6 weeks before I'm an official bandit. Good luck with your decision. Think positive and keep smiling!

Travelinsnorkel, why not make an appointment at the local Weight loss center. Attend a seminar. Fill our an application. The process is lenghty and not easy requiring committment. It should let you know if you are ready to committ to the program or not.