To tell or not to tell? That is the question.

Hey girlies how do you tell your family or friends that you are having or had wls?

I haven't told many people for cultural and regional reasons.

#1 In the south it's ok to trust a big butt and a smile

#2 Most of the people I know consider themselves "thick" but are actually medically obese

Maybe it has nothing to do with culture or region. Maybe it's just a human thing.

I kinda struggle with this. Look at my avatar, it's a cartoon, Will I ever be brave enough to replace it with my own photo or will I Keep it in the closet!?

Holla!

To tell or not to tell? That is the question.

Hey girlies how do you tell your family or friends that you are having or had wls?

Well, I am not a girlie, but I hope I can "weigh in."

I didn't tell most folks... my wife, my pastor, and two close friends know.

My mom, family, my coworkers, my boss, my Water aerobics class, none know, and hopefully never will.

My thoughts, it is none of their business what I am trying to do, how I am doing it, or (in the case of my mother) how I am paying for it.

I just tell them that I am cutting the carbs, and "restricting" my intake.

But that is me.

Amen to that!

I mentioned wanting to do this a while back. My Brother in law had a LOT to say about it, but then he has a lot to say about everything. Something to say about every subject, but knows little about basic social stuff. *rolleyes

My mother will be supportive, I'm sure, and I'll tell my sisters. I'm going to keep it a little hush hush from some other people until I get into it more, have definitely app'ments, etc.

My best friend is supportive.

When I mentioned it to another friend a while back, she too took a bit of a negative stance against it, so I won't say anything to her yet either.

I do have to learn to keep my mouth closed about the band, because I have a friend who I told when I first started on this journey. She knows about all my medical problems and knows I have gone up and down for years, so I let her in on my plans for the band. Well, she saw me today and she noticed that I am losing weight on my own (pre-op) so she started saying that I should try to do it on my own and just stick to a diet. :eek::eek:Well she is my elder so I kept quiet, anyway she should know diets just don't work (she is about 75 lbs overweight also). She still thinks I am having GB surgery. She is one of my travel buddies and she doesn't like to see me sit and eat sensible.

My sister just went silent when I told her. So no one else will have to know.

My son and his fiance (size 1) plus her family are very supportive, so they will be my support system.:tt2:

I

My sister just went silent when I told her. So no one else will have to know.:thumbup:

Do you interpret silence as non-supportive? The reason that I am asking is because when I shopped the idea around to my best friend of 20 years almost 1 year ago, she would get silent. So I stopped trying to let her in on that part of my life. She still does not know that I had surgery last week! It just makes me kinda sad because we share everything.:frown:

April:

With my sister the silence and raised eyebrow is definitely a sign of non-support. At least I did not have to justify it to her.

I told my girlfriends in ATL (by email) and they were all very supportive of me and they know how much better I will. I'll be happy to get back together with them next year.

Anne

Yes I think that silence is a sign of being non-supportive. In a way I am glad that I didn't tell anyone. Only my mom knows and that is because I needed a ride to and from the surgery center. If it weren't for that then I wouldn't have told her. I am a very private person and I don't share anything personal about me with anyone in my life. Its kind of weird that no one knows about my surgery. Its as if I don't have the band at all. Wishing everyone all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's perfectly normal to want to keep it quiet. It's unrealistic to think that everyone will be 100% supportive and tell you what you want to hear. Personally, I am keeping it from my very large and opinionated extended family, just because I know they would want to burden me with their personal opinions about what I should or shouldn't do without taking out the time to research the facts. Everyone in my immediate family knows (father, mother, 1 sister) mostly because they're an awesome support system but also because my mom and I are going through this process together and will hopefully be banded on the same day.:crying: If you decide to make 'mums' the word, make sure you have a good support system even if it's only 1 man strong. Remember, "No man is an island", and somewhere through this process you'll need to be able to draw strength from somewhere.

I

My sister just went silent when I told her. So no one else will have to know.:biggrin:

Do you interpret silence as non-supportive? The reason that I am asking is because when I shopped the idea around to my best friend of 20 years almost 1 year ago, she would get silent. So I stopped trying to let her in on that part of my life. She still does not know that I had surgery last week! It just makes me kinda sad because we share everything.:thumbup:

Apryl,

I can definitly feel you on the best friend thing. By best friend and I are/were both obese. Together in college we were able to lose weight (her-80lbs and me 100lbs.) Once that was over I gained all my weight back and then some and she been able to yo-yo around close to her goal weight for a couple years. She is not at all supportive of my decision since she feel that I threw in my towel out of pure frustration. Though we were both mordidly obese, I have always been much bigger than her and have tried to explain how I came about my decision. But she just wouldn't hear it. So one day I just finally said to her that as my best friend though she may not agree with my decision she at least needs to be supportive cause I would do the same for her. After giving it some thought she did apologive for her negative comments and though she still does not support it is more open to at least discussing it and will be there for me.