I was about fit to be tied today! I work with two other ladies that are both large ( about 300) So when I stared my lap band journey I never went on and on about it because I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. After my surgery I just did my thing and never made it a topic of conversation. Now almost 6 months later I have been very blessed to have lost 75 lbs. Here lately when we have patients come into the office they have made many nice comments about how good I look and "Wow you have lost so much weight" I thank them, smile and go about my business. ( not only do I not want to hurt the feelings of co-workers but I still do not like attention and don't do well with complements ) Well today after a nice comment from a patient my co-worker turned to her and said " She had the lap band surgery, it's not like she "worked" at it"

OMG I was dumb founded!!! I was shocked!! I was hurt!! I didn't even know what to say. I have never kept the lap band a secret so that didn't bother me, but the fact that I have ALWAYS taken the feelings of others into consideration and I got that??

Dang it! I just wanted to poke her in the eye! It really makes me mad when people think WLS is the "easy way out" How rude! Well I know me and I know I won't say anything to her because really what would be the point? It just made me so flipping mad I wanna wear something clingy that shows cleavage tomorrow! ( laughing ) ok I know me and I won't do that either. I'm just venting....because who would understand better then the people on this board what a low blow that was. Sigh.......

That's just crazy. My goodness - the amount of work (eating less, exercising, dealing with the emotional side) is the same only more because it's compressed and accelerated. Plus you have all the surgery stuff, the pre-surgery requirements, the risk, the recovery, etc.

To me (and remember I'm still pre-surgery), this journey I have embarked upon feels like way more work, scarier in that it will force my hand to deal with my eating and exercise moreso than Jenny Craig ever could.

The people who say such things are not only ignorant, they are dead wrong.

Tell her if it is so darn easy she should do it. I too get the comments from the jealous. i've heard more than once that I took the easy way out and am losing weight by "cheating! I'm sure glad I didn't take the hard road LOL

Even if it is easier, what does that have to do with anything? It works and that's what's important. I suppose I could spend a year losing the weight on Jenny Craig and then just gain it all back so that I wouldn't be "cheating" but what's the point in that?

The idea that there is only one way to lose weight and anything else is cheating is just ridiculous. You do what works for you so that you're healthier.

My son's gf is staying with us and her mom is a loon. She refuses to give her kids antibiotics even if they need them. So son's gf once suffered for 10 days with a UTI before mom gave in and finally took her to the doctor for antibiotics. I'm sure that woman thinks antibiotics are "cheating" but I think she's insane.

(((Ya'll))) Thanks for understanding and thanks for all the kind words!! I am just gonna stay focused on my journey and not allow her negative energy to filter in! Ya'll have a wonderful July 4th! Stay safe and enjoy!!!! ~ Laurinda~

Dear AuntLucy- What a thoughtful comment. I am hoping to be sleeved in September- mostly because it is easier to lose the weight and since I have already had the heart attack every day I walk around heavy is asking for another heart attack. And yes, I know I will have to do the work to maintain that loss, and want to be part of this website because it is part of the struggle we all will have to go through. Either immediately with the band, or later with the sleeve or bypass. In the long run we are all going to end up in the same place- needing to do the work that is necessary to keep our newly thin bodies. Good luck

That is an attitude I am bracing myself for. Im not yet banded but I know a lot of people view this kind of surgery as at best taking the easy way out and at worst self mutilation.

You can't make people change their mind. All you can do is control your attitudes toward others.

It sounds like you have been very considerate and kind too these ladies still like most of us that have been obese they probably have huge inferiority complexes so instead of being happy for you each compliment you receive is felt as a criticism toward them. Its sad and wrong but remember you are the one who is getting healthier and maybe you can inspire them to do the same thing!

asnewme1, good luck with all of your preparation for getting the sleeve. I've heard really good things about it. It's actually my surgeon's preference, but it's not covered under insurance yet. Since my insurance covered the band, it was a good choice for me. We are glad to have you on the site as we're all in the same boat!

I agree, Aunt Lucy. I have seen, many times, someone stewing about a misstatement about the lapband and then in the next statement make a misstatement about GB. If we haven't walked in their shoes, it's best not to make judgements, eh?

Sorry if I offended anyone with my comments about GB. Maybe I should reword my statement. At first having a GB is not much work. You have an 18 month "window of opportunity" as they call it where you are just shedding the pounds. You don't have to exercise or do much. Obviously it is best if you do but there are many people who do not do a darn thing. After that it is just as hard if not harder than having a band if you have not changed your eating habits. That's when people with a GB start to gain again. Do I think it is easy for you guys in the long run? Hell no. It is a struggle for all of us. It is just that the struggles happen at different times in the journey.

I see that you aren't going to say something, but if you do get that point where something needs to be said, an easy conversation starter is, "Why would you say that?" and then sit back and let your co-worker answer you.

She will reveal more about herself than she will about you or your easy way out.

And a way to end the conversation is to say we all chose different paths in life. I'm happy for the opportunities my choice has afforded me. I wish you the same joy.

I can tell you, she'll think about that conversation afterward, promise.

babygrl, I don't think you offended anyone (you certainly didn't me)! I completely understand what you are saying.

Congrats on your weight loss. I would definitely talk to her about it and inform her that you still need to watch what you eat and exercise. You are doing great! Keep up the good work.

Because she said you didn't "work" for it, it sounded like the comment was deliberately belittling you and it became personal when it was done in front of someone else.

I would talk to her about it, but that is just me. I don't think you need to really explain yourself or how it is or isn't work to be banded. It is more a matter of her making personal judgements about you at work in front of others and it isnt acceptable. It doesnt matter what she thinks about banding, only that it is unprofessional to discuss things in that matter.

If there is anything I have learned over the years, some people are hurtful because many people don't say anything to defend themselves. If you never say a word about it, she may just say something else again in the future.

Actually there are bypass patients who find the weight doesn't just fall off with no work even in the beginning. There are no magic bullets.

That said, I do think that WLS is easier than diet and exercise alone because WLS will change most people's "set point" so that their body doesn't fight as hard to keep the weight on or work to put the weight back on after the loss.

But again... so what? I live in CA and sometimes I go to NJ to visit relatives. I could walk to New Jersey, have it take months, if not years, maybe never even get there or I can take a plane and get there in 5 hours. I think I'd be pretty stupid to walk there knowing how much work it is and how little chance of success I'd have. I'm going to take the plane!

If that's "taking the easy way out" so be it!

Actually there are bypass patients who find the weight doesn't just fall off with no work even in the beginning. There are no magic bullets.

That said, I do think that WLS is easier than diet and exercise alone because WLS will change most people's "set point" so that their body doesn't fight as hard to keep the weight on or work to put the weight back on after the loss.

But again... so what? I live in CA and sometimes I go to NJ to visit relatives. I could walk to New Jersey, have it take months, if not years, maybe never even get there or I can take a plane and get there in 5 hours. I think I'd be pretty stupid to walk there knowing how much work it is and how little chance of success I'd have. I'm going to take the plane!

If that's "taking the easy way out" so be it!

Good analogy