female only Ahem...very personal :)

[Chrisann 0]

Thanks ladies. I need to hear this from other people. I can't possibly tell other friends or my sister we slept together if nothing comes of it, so talking about this with them is out of the question.

I do like having him in my life, and if it never happens again, I can live with it. If it ever progresses to a relationship, I can live with that too.

He did call me a little while ago when I was away from my desk, and just left the voice mail, "whats going on, I guess you're busy, talk to you later." I haven't called him back yet.

In the meantime I am trying to figure out how to break it off with the fling guy, because now that I am looking at myself from the outside, that is not a good thing either. God, I feel like I am back in HS.:thumbup:

[Cerrin 3]

OK just tell the fling guy your done...or dont tell him anything.

It is just a fling he dosent need explanations. lol

If he asks just tell him thanks for the booty call and you will give him a call if you need him again. lol

He is the one that told you he didnt want a perminent thing.

So dont worry about him and give your friend a call he is probably as worried about the friendship thing as you are.

[Donna113 2]

Why is fooling around with 2 guys at the same time wrong if you are not in a committed relationship with anyone? Why not play the field until you hump into the one that suits you best? I say what's good for the gander is also good for the goose. I'm happily married now but after my previous marriage ended and prior to this one, I played the field quite a bit and it really helped me to clarify for me what I needed in a man to be able to commit to him for the rest of my life. As soon as I realized it, my husband seem to materialize out of thin air and we got married one week after meeting and are still very happily married 9 years later.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I can't have sex with someone just to have sex. I think sex is too emotional. I would never be able to have sex with someone I didn't have feelings for. If I did, I would start to have feelings for him.

There have been guys in my life who wanted to be "friends with benefits" but I told them the same thing. I can't separate love and sex.

[Cerrin 3]

I can understand what Chris is saying though. For me I did the flings/booty calls for a while then I felt bad about myself. Nothing is wrong with them per se, but the feelings they produce sometimes are bad. You just have to know yourself and what you need

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I agree with that. I am not saying everyone is like me. Most people know themselves pretty well, and something that may feel good at the moment, may cause people to feel bad later on.

[MistyD65 1]

Why not play the field until you **hump** into the one that suits you best?

That made me giggle. Was that a Freudian slip or intentional?:thumbup:

[Donna113 2]

In my experience, sex only relationships were rarely sex only relationships, they were dating relationships without defined commitments and at times I dated more than one guy at a time. If I started feeling stronger about one or the other, then I'd break it off with the other guy. Sometimes the guys I dated knew I was dating others and sometimes they didn't. I guess what I'm trying to say here is what everyone else is saying, do what feels right and give yourself permission to feel OK about dating more than one guy at a time (including more than one sexual partner at a time [protected sex, obviously]).

[Donna113 2]

That made me giggle. Was that a Freudian slip or intentional?:thumbup:

ABSOLUTELY intentional. :thumbup:

[Chrisann 0]

Well Fling guy called me today, and I told that I am developing feelings for someone else and don't think the booty calls right now are good for me. He went into a diatribe of the parts of my body he loves, and what he loves to do to them. Ironically enough, that just turned me off, so I said that he needs to give me space.

Best friend guy comes over to my house tonite on his motorcycle, called me 15 minutes before, and wanted to know what I was cooking for dinner. I was having a 4oz piece of filet mignon, so I take out 3 more for him. He winds up doing the cooking on the grill and I had to go out a buy him french fries at the corner restaurant. Gotta love living in the city.

Anyway, we then go shopping to the local store, when he buys me hair dye and says I should try being Auburn Brown. I figure what the hell. He helps me color my hair back at the house. Still not a word about last night.

So he is getting ready to leave, and then it comes out, "about last night", I say nothing. He says "I don't know what came over me. I love having you as a friend, I want nothing to jeopardize that. I am a cancer to relationships". I said ok. He said "are you sure". I answered like this, "I don't regret last night, really. Would I like it to happen again, sure, but do I want to ruin our friendship, no. So, when you can figure out what you want, and I am still available to be with you that way, we can see if that is what we want."

He seemed satisfied with that answer. So like that, in one day, gone is fling guy, and still here, platonically, is best friend guy. What a crazy 24 hours I have had.

Being with him here tonite though, with the cooking and stuff, I think I do love him, so that is another can of worms. I am blaming all of this on the band and my weight loss.

[Chrisann 0]

Ok well hell, best friend guy just im'd me and says, he never wants to talk about last night again. So I say, no regrets please, and no more talking about it. He says thank you. I then type back best friends first my dear. He says yes.

So forgot both of these guys. I am going out with my girlfriends tomorrow night and gonna find a Man like Cerrin suggested this morning. Going to bed now so I don't have the dark circles under my eyes tomorrow night while I am strutting in my new size 18 jeans and low cut blouse.

[Cerrin 3]

I WANT TO DEFINITLY KNOW HOW GIRLS NIGHT OUT GOES!

I think you did the right thing with both guys. Flings are good...Friends are better and some day you will get that guy who is both...At least that is what I keep being told lol

I am still on the search lol

[Donna113 2]

Chrisann, keep us posted. This is better than a soap opera.

[Chrisann 0]

Well back home ladies...

I had a good time tonite. I met up with friends and went to something that is called Mets at the Movies. It was the Mets vs. Phillies game on a movie screen at the Ziegfeld Theater in NYC. We had a great time, caught some tshirts and watched a great game, the Mets won!

Fling guy texted me several times, I ignored him. Best friend guy thought we were going out drinking and texted me too, so I lied to him and texted back several times that we were in a bar, guys buying us drinks etc.

I get a voice mail from Best friend guy to call him as soon as I got the message. I call him back, pretend I had a few, as he wanted me to go to his house, (he was at work) to walk his dog and sit with the dog for a bit. I was like no f'ing way and hung up the phone. He called me back wanted to know who I was leaving with and how much was I drinking.

Anyway, I know I am evil now, but I enjoyed this. I called him from my house when I got home and he was happy I made it home and said I didn't have to go to his place. I am heading out of town on Friday for 4 days, so I will have to see what happens then.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

Very interesting! You should all post on the singles thread. We have all gone through a lot together, learning to live differently, living the single bandster life.

Can't wait to hear how this plays out. I am betting it's not so easy for him to forget the other night.