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I dont expect people to be perfect. I didnt lose weight by being damn perfect every single day. I have off days too. I fall off the wagon. I eat too much.

But I dont come here crying and asking for pats on the back for it, for justification of my denial. THAT's what annoys me. Not that people arent perfect but that they're here seeking justification. They dont seem to able to say "well, I fecked that up, but I'll do better tomorrow".

I agree with this. I have many off days too. Heck, I've had quite a few lately, but I don't come up with a million excuses as to why I fall off the wagon. I could come up with a few that might make me feel better about what I've done, but it wouldn't be right not to own up to it and take responsibility. What good would come out of that?

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I only just found the thread that you were talking about in your OP Jachut - I responded here in response to the content of your OP only. There was so much more behind it I now realise!. All I can say is holy smokes! :redface:

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Jacqui, I agree with everything you are saying.

For me, when I went to the extreme of having surgery, that was it, there was no choice but to comply and lose weight. I have a very hard time understanding the self-pity and noncompliance. I have often thought, if I can do this, almost anybody can do it. I had no discipline, no ability to tell myself no, I ate uncontrollably. I have a true food addiction. I've had people tell me straight out that the only reason I have done so well is because of my age. That makes me so angry. I am working my butt off--this is the hardest thing I've ever done and I will not fail.

I am very strict with myself and hold myself accountable for everything I eat, even when I have a bad day. I'm not perfect, I'll never be perfect. I eat pizza and chips and candy--just way smaller portions and not nearly as often as before. I really don't feel like I'm doing anything special. My husband is having issues with his blood sugar and needs to make dietary changes. I get so exasperated with him because he just keeps eating and drinking all the things he shouldn't. He tells me, I'm just not as strong as you. Strong? No. Just really determined to lose this weight, get healthy, and live a full long life. I couldn't go on like I was before surgery and the memories of that time push me to succeed.

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I'm only 2 weeks into this journey, but wanted to say I couldn't agree with you more Jachut! I've read both threads and OMG! I thought long and hard about getting the band (and had to self pay as well), I knew I was fat because of my choices and needed the help of the band to undo the damage. What I can't believe already is reading the posts of people who are cheating on their post op diets. After the cost, the pain, the difficulties of pre op diets, I just can't imagine doing something that could affect the healing, etc. and then making excuses for it. Will I be perfect on this journey? I'm sure not, but when all is said and done, I'm the one holding the fork, I'm the one feeding my body, doing the work or not doing the work. I get full credit for the good choices I make and for the bad ones. The band is only a tool for me to use for help on this journey. It won't do the work w/o me. Keep speaking your truth!

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SheSmiles, Holy Smokes indeed! Whew.

Jaime, doesnt it make you cross when people just write you off as strong? Its not a complement, its an invented excuse for themselves and why they've not achieved what they wanted. They're not infusing "strong" with admiration for you, they're using it to say "you're different therefore it was easier for you".

Drives me nuts.

I did the Run to the G this morning in Melbourne, did 10km in 55 minutes!!!! In the pouring rain and I fuelled my personal best by pouring all the aggression that other thread built up in me, lol. Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

Edited by Jachut

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Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

Okay, now I'm dying to read the particular thread that started all this off.

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I did the Run to the G this morning in Melbourne, did 10km in 55 minutes!!!! In the pouring rain and I fuelled my personal best by pouring all the aggression that other thread built up in me, lol. Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

LOL! :redface: You know, you could have used that as an excuse and just forgot about the run, but you didn't. It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to something! Good for you! I'm glad it worked to your advantage!

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Congrats on the 55 minute 10km Jacqui, thats a darn fine effort!!!! Poetic justice at its finest!

And I hate that "strong" compliment too Jamie. I'm not strong either - disciplined *most* of the time and blessed with my band, yes. But strong, no. If I was strong I would have been able to keep the weight off the first time I got down to 150 pounds.

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SheSmiles, Holy Smokes indeed! Whew.

Jaime, doesnt it make you cross when people just write you off as strong? Its not a complement, its an invented excuse for themselves and why they've not achieved what they wanted. They're not infusing "strong" with admiration for you, they're using it to say "you're different therefore it was easier for you".

Drives me nuts.

I did the Run to the G this morning in Melbourne, did 10km in 55 minutes!!!! In the pouring rain and I fuelled my personal best by pouring all the aggression that other thread built up in me, lol. Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

LOL WTG!

And yes, it makes me so mad to hear how "strong" I am. When discussing the food problems with my husband I know that he thinks this has been easy for me. He should know firsthand it hasn't been, since he got to listen to all of my whining about being hungry and all of that on the liquid diet. I have a friend who has a 40 BMI, dr suggested lap band, etc., and she tells me, it isn't easy for me like it is for you. Blah! This has been anything but easy for me, but I was given the chance to change my life and I'm taking full advantage of it.

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Okay, now I'm dying to read the particular thread that started all this off.

me too... i was pm'd a hint but too exhausted to look for it ... :ohmy:

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under self esteem under mental illnesses and lapband under social groups lol

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I know the thread that started all this. I have a post on it as well. I can relate both ways.

Jachut, I admire your no BS approach to your life and the energy and disipline you give to everything that is important to you. I really understand your point of view better from reading this thread. Instead of angry to me, you seem frustrated with your attempts to help people that you see as not wanting your help. Funny thing, I wish that these words were what was on some of these other threads. You have a great deal of compassion and understanding about this struggle.

Am I right when I say that a major aspect of this thread is the feeling that your efforts are unappreciated by some of these other people on this forum? I get what you are saying in that regard. It ain't easy for any of us. What's true is that every one has to find their own answer in their own time and in their own way.

Please let me know if I am off base. You have learned some lessons that others have not. Kudos to you!

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Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

Mamma always said, "The best revenge is living well." :ohmy:

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'Self esteem' without a valid reason is also known as 'delusion'.

Unfortunately, that seems to be the default mental position these days. After all, it's taught in schools, and makes everyone feel 'good' -- no matter what their reality might truly be.

So yes, I feel those who have dedicated themselves to slow or no loss despite being surgically altered need to take a good look at their lifestyle and actions.

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