I know this is Rants and Raves so that's why I'm putting this topic here because I'm sure I will be ranted upon which isn't my point actually. Why are people made to feel afraid to come to this forum and discuss their band failures? When someone is searching out whys and what ifs they need a safe haven and I've gotten the impression the only way you can get people to talk about their personal problems with the band is by private messaging because they're too afraid to "come out of the my band is now working closet"

Would love to have them come out so I don't feel I'm alone here, thanks brandyII.:biggrin:

Wasabubblebutt,

I don't know what the exact facts are with yo yo dieting and metabolisms but I know that I've yo yo'd many times and dieted for almost 40 years of my life to no avail, and I also know my metabolism is shot. At this point my desire to go through another diet while on the band is also shot. So shoot me?

Brandy...

You know, I've never been one to play into this kind of manipulation and it isn't working today. Shoot you? I suggest we move on because that is silly.

If you don't want to diet then fine, but it's not that the band isn't working, you aren't working. This is not a band failure, this is you spending all your time focusing on how this isn't going to work when you could be using that time to make it work.

There was a person on OH that was complaining that she hasn't lost a pound with the band in five years. She's still at the same weight she was five years ago when banded. We all suggested she exercise, she claimed she didn't have the time. I pointed out the number of hours she spent posting on the boards complaining about having no time and then she said she had no motivation. Who cares about motivation, who needs it? Freak'en well get out there and do it. We are ALL in the same boat, none of us WANTS to do it in the beginning, so what?

Then she decided that she was going to go to a therapist to see why she had no motivation. What better way to use her time than to focus on why she has no time.

There are people that want a treadmill and they spend so much time researching treadmills they never make the time to actually go out and buy one. They are so busy researching they make no time to damn well go out and get a treadmill because then they would actually have to use it. It's a great method of procrastination.

If I were you I'd just get the band removed, stay obese, and focus on something new for a bit. Take up knitting, sewing, something more productive for you. This is getting you nowhere.

Wasa,

I see you just went through revision surgery so I understand you're probably in a little pain right now so I'll cut you some slack!

Wasa,

I see you just went through revision surgery so I understand you're probably in a little pain right now so I'll cut you some slack!

No need for that, I feel great! I meant what I wrote.

No need for that, I feel great! I meant what I wrote.

I'm glad your doing well and I'm sure you did mean it!!!

Sometimes when I post, writing my thoughts can be tricky. I certainly didn't intend to crush anyone's happiness. Or say, be careful this might be you someday. Sorry for any inference if I did :thumbs_up:

I came to this particular posting area to vent my feelings being so many years out and my struggle.

I sure wouldn't do this to the other areas of the site. I am thinking I might have posted on the wrong area.

Anyway, I wish everyone great success.

Failure is in the mind of the (band) beholder. Most look at me and tell me I look great. But, they are probably remembering what I used to look like!

I still need to lose the twenty pounds I put back on after my plastic surgeries. And that is a real struggle with horrible horrible reflux. So my band is basically NOT filled at all. I am using the old eat/feel like crap/try to diet/and exercise routine. HA

Think: pre band, no restriction

However I am grateful that I am still in a size 12 and not the 22 I used to be.

Cookie

HI Wasa! Hope you're feeling great now.

I want to tell a story about running being a passion. I love it, really I dol. That does help, it gives great motivation.

But it shits me no end when people make the assumption that it is somehow "easier" for me to exercise than it is for them.

At the moment, I have one whole side of my body completely farked really. I have sciatic pain down to my toes. My last 3 toes on my right foot are numb. My right knee feels like I jumped off a 4 story building, just totally impacted and crushed. I have chronic bursitis on my right foot. I'm making it sound like I'm in total agony, its really discomfort more than pain but it makes me anxious. I have visions of a painful old age. I've checked into it thoroughly, there are no disc problems in my back,its probably all postural/muscular, the result of a hip injury when I was 16 making my right leg marginally shorter than the left, 3 pregnancies etc. Running does not cause it, however it does worsen over time, after I've run a lot I get sorer and sorer. If I had time and money to be at the gym five times a week, I'd definitely be better off doing that. I've had this problem for the last 3 years.

But what's my choice? Be sedentary, get fat again and still be in discomfort or exercise and be in discomfort but be thin and fit? I choose to exercise.

But it is NOT easy. I dont wake up everyday thinking I WANT TO RUN. I roll out of bed, groan, limp and hobble for half an hour, sometimes get anxious and teary because I'm so farking frustrated with it, I dont want to feel this way, and I try to manage it by doing circuits and sometimes swimming etc as well as running, allowing myself at the moment to only run 6kms twice a week. I wont be doing the half marathon I so wanted to do but I stay active because its better to.

So when people moan and whine that they cant exercise because they dont have time or dont want to, but "you're so lucky because you love it" I do want to snot them.

It is a choice, absolutely. Do it or dont, but dont be surprised at the results if you dont. Oh, and if your metabolism IS shot, exercise is the best way to fix it.

Sometimes when I post, writing my thoughts can be tricky. I certainly didn't intend to crush anyone's happiness. Or say, be careful this might be you someday. Sorry for any inference if I did :thumbs_up:

I came to this particular posting area to vent my feelings being so many years out and my struggle.

I sure wouldn't do this to the other areas of the site. I am thinking I might have posted on the wrong area.

Anyway, I wish everyone great success.

Failure is in the mind of the (band) beholder. Most look at me and tell me I look great. But, they are probably remembering what I used to look like!

I still need to lose the twenty pounds I put back on after my plastic surgeries. And that is a real struggle with horrible horrible reflux. So my band is basically NOT filled at all. I am using the old eat/feel like crap/try to diet/and exercise routine. HA

Think: pre band, no restriction

However I am grateful that I am still in a size 12 and not the 22 I used to be.

Cookie

I guess I took your post to be pretty honest and I don't think you owe anyone any apologies. I'm sorry that you're kind of going through h*ll right now. I guess it's okay to post here but remember from now on this is the "Bash brandyII Thread" so unless you come here to say something negative about my weakness in character you should look elsewhere!!!

I know I'm just too funny for my own good:lol::lol:brandyII

You know guys, this is turning into a bit of a bash session and I don't think that helps anyone in the long run. Just as the band itself is adjustable, there are many different ways to approach living with it and many paths to success in losing weight with it.

Jachut's approach has been to keep restriction light, eat well and throw herself into exercise to compensate for the higher calorie intake. Wasa's approach has been to keep restriction tight, eat 600 cal a day and exercise too. Both have done well and have lost weight successfully, but that's not the only possible approach. There's no doubt that fewer calories + more exercise = fast weight loss, but some of us prefer to take our time and get to our goals in a little more leisurely fashion.

While Jachut is my personal band-hero and I admire Wasa's success, I'm not following either of them faithfully on every point. Personally, I can't see myself ever running a marathon, whether it was for pleasure or hating every minute of it but doing it for the benefits. I couldn't bear to live on 600 cal a day and I chose the band BECAUSE I didn't want to spend the rest of my life dieting or on an extremely restricted calorie regime. I try not to "diet" but focus on healthy eating, exercise sporadically but am finding I can increase it as I get more fit. I'm not going to win any speed races in losing the most weight in the shortest space of time. I plan to take at least 18 months to get to goal and at my current pace, I'm right on target for that. That doesn't mean that Jachut's or Wasa's or my approach is the right one for everyone. Each of us needs to work out for ourselves how this band works best for us.

Now Brandy had an unfortunate start to her bandlife. For whatever reason, she was unaware that the band wouldn't help her limit her intake of slider foods and and struggled to find the right balance for her between restriction, food choices and exercise. She knows better now and is trying to find a pace that suits her. She knows her own mind and has stated that focussing directly upon diet and exercise causes her to become obssessed and then rebellious and she defeats her own efforts with that approach. Fine, I can relate - say the word "diet" to me and my immediate reaction is "Oh my god, where's the chocolate!!" If she feels that she will get better results by NOT triggering those reactive emotions in herself, then good luck to her.

My advice to you, Brandy (and remember it is only advice, take it or leave it as you will), is to chill out a little and stop stressing about calories, diet or "focussing" on anything. Keep restriction light, aim to eat good healthy food, and let the band do it's job in helping you to not feel hungry all the time. Don't forbid yourself anything, because you know that will only make you crave it all the more, but keep in mind that it was the junk that got you to where you are now. A little treat now and then is good for the soul; icecream, chips and chocolate every day is not going to get you to goal. When you are not hungry, because you've been filling up on good quality food, it's easier to make good choices and limit the treats to the occasional small one instead of binging. Exercise when you can - look for easy ways to start this, rather than throw yourself into a strenuous routine that you can't sustain. Use little tricks like taking the furtherest carpark space at the shopping centre, instead of the closest, using the stairs instead of the elevator when it's only 1 or 2 flights up. As you get fitter, increase this at a pace that suits you.

You won't see the pounds melt away with this approach. Accept that and embrace it. They WILL drift away slowly, a pound here and there, and that will add up over time. As you see it start to go, you might find that you become more motivated and want to put more effort into dropping the weight faster - you can do that too! It's all up to you and your choice. Take the examples of everyone in here and find the bits that fit with your own personality. Work out what works for you and change it to suit your needs, when it feels right for you.

Good luck with your journey!

Edited June 12, 200818 yr by Fanny Adams

Thanks Fanny you're a doll!!!!! I feel like a pretty screwed up person right now and it's really hard to get motivated. I've even been thinking of going on the all liquid Medifast diet again because I did it last July and it worked and maybe that might jump start me. I thought about joining Curves too. I think I've expressed myself too much on threads as it felt good to get it out of my head for once as it's been a real torture keeping it inside and I think we all know what happens when we keep stuff inside.

The only people that I thought would be understanding were the people at Lap Band because they all had weight problems initially at least and were banded but I assumed too much and only made more enemies than buds. I didn't mean to upset the apple cart or attack the band I know it's me I'm just sucking at it right now and thought this forum could get me motivated in some way.

I tried the lap band group at my surgeon's office and everyone was nice but it was either full of people looking to get banded or the I've lost 75 pound groups. I'm always the red headed step child and I got more out of you all than I did an actual physical group.

Anyway I won't bug anyone else on it anymore, I guess it's my own life and I have to deal with it and I wish everyone the best because I know how painful it is to be fat, thanks brandy:smile:

Its not borne out of agression (although my post above is a bit forthright, that issue particularly annoys me), but that those who have lost weight successfully have made huge sacrifices to do it and THEY werent ANY more able to do it than you are, we DID all start in the same place with the same problems.

But having done it, I dunno, it seems so simple to me. Commit and do it, its the only answer. Trying to help someone see that before they are ready to is very frustrating.

I think you're on the right track at the moment, put it all aside, and focus on just getting healthy for want of a better word. You cant force this issue before you're ready to tackle it, ideally you have that epiphany before you're banded, but just becuase you didnt doesnt mean it will never come. Patience I guess, and believe me, I do wish you good luck with it.

Hey Brandy,

Boy you created a monster of a thread. LOL Afterall this is what we are here for. To vent. There is no better catharsis. Get it off your chest. If you need motivation girl, let us know. We all want you to succeed. Honestly Brandy, if people didn't give a darn whatsoever, they wouldn't take even a minute of their precious time to even reply to your post. Sometimes it seems like reverse psychology. If someone yells at you and tells you just to give up and get rid of your band, what they are really doing is trying to get you mad and enraged within, so you can tell yourself that you CAN do it. Just take the critique and try to apply better behaviors throughout your day. We are here for you Brandy. I don't care what it is that bothers you, like you said, it does no good to keep it bottled inside.

I personally look at stuff like this as an intervention. In many cases, we can see what a person is doing (in many cases, defeating themselves) before they themselves can see it. Just like when people try to get their friends out of abusive relationships. The people around the person can see that they are in a bad situation before the person IN the situation can.

Yes, precisely, I dont know why I couldnt just say it like that!

You all are right, I've over stayed my welcome, I need to come to terms with my problems it's nobodies but my own. Maybe Weight Watchers for the one billionth time, I know I'm screwed up and can't do well with the lap band and I guess it's time to bid my farewell but thanks to all that were my friends and supporters and I wish you all continued success, thanks Nancy:smile:

Don't bother to come back with any responses as I'm not coming back. It's not big deal it just didn't work out. Close the thread to all the monitors out there, it's done! Thanks again.:thumbs_up:

Brandi I just came back to this thread to check in. Good grief! I can't believe what's been heaped on your head.

Encouragement is one thing - slapping someone in the face is another. Some of it reminds me of one hilarious doctor who told my mom that she needed to exercise... by pushing her chair away from the table. Har-de-har-har-har. That's really helpful.

I believe we both have some issues that we aren't dealing with. I believe that you and I both take on a lot of other people's problems and sometimes that doesn't leave a whole lot for ourselves. (By other people I mean family members and friends.) But that isn't the whole answer either.

The one thing that I was told when I was told "this is only a tool", was that I wouldn't be hungry. Yeah, right.

I have broken knees and both need to be completely replaced. Like I can really obsess about running a marathon. Or tramping on a treadmill. Right...

Every other day, I do any combination of Water aerobics, the recumbent bike, upper body free weights and floor exercises for at least an hour. Those things are helping, but my metabolism actually is shot and it is very hard for me to burn enough calories to get it to any reasonable level of burn again. (I've been told this by my doctor and by my exercise therapist.) The one thing that I have been told and that I have proven is that I can no longer skip meals. I have to take in enough calories or my very efficient body (at saving fat for the times that I don't eat) will shut down any weight loss possibility. So much for thinking that not eating was a good thing.

This whole diet thing is complicated. Everyone wants to believe that it is simply calories in, calories out. But in fact it is not that simple for everyone, just MOST people.

I too have considered the possibility that all my obsession with dieting and weight loss could be planting the seed in my mind that I will fail like I have in the past. That has made me want to just continue my exercise and eating decent food and getting on with my life and stopping the infernal obsession with losing weight.

Btw, if you will take a serious look at the numbers game with the lap band, many, many people have an approximately 40 lb. loss in the first 3 to 6 months. Then they plateau and begin the battle. Many stay at that weight for a couple of years. Some people after the second year go on to lose more. The younger you are and the fewer medications you're on, the higher the rate of success.

This is not a simple thing and for others to dismiss your frustration out of hand and decide that you are a slacker because you're not willing to do what they have done to succeed only proves that they have no idea what you are going through.

Please don't let it get you down. You are not alone. We are not freaks of nature. Hmmm or maybe we are. We have unique problems that many others are unfamiliar with. I know Wasa thinks she's the expert on banding, but she obviously is not. She may have enjoyed a large measure of success and I congratulate her on that, but to judge you, me and others so harshly is pretty darned unattractive.

I'm right beside you, girl. I'm not giving up the fight, but I'm also not going to accept comparison with others who are far younger and have far fewer medical and probably emotional issues than I have. No excuse, just fact. I don't care if they understand or not. They have to live in their skin and I have to live in mine. I am darned happy with what I have accomplished and I am not going to feel like a failure no matter what they say. I hope you won't either!