I know this is Rants and Raves so that's why I'm putting this topic here because I'm sure I will be ranted upon which isn't my point actually. Why are people made to feel afraid to come to this forum and discuss their band failures? When someone is searching out whys and what ifs they need a safe haven and I've gotten the impression the only way you can get people to talk about their personal problems with the band is by private messaging because they're too afraid to "come out of the my band is now working closet"

Would love to have them come out so I don't feel I'm alone here, thanks brandyII.:biggrin:

Now I'm on the other side of the story, stuck, unable to get the other 20 lbs. off. I AM exercising. I AM taking in hundreds of fewer calories, and yet I am stuck.

I understand your frustration BJ. I never lost weight like I was told I would. I went on plateaus that lasted months. I did everything I was told to do, and was sure I was one of those people the band wouldn't work for. Then all of a sudden, I would drop a few again. I recently lost 4 lbs and haven't done anything different. I thought once I got to this weight I would stop losing. Now I am wondering if I will continue to lose.

I once went back on 4 protein drinks per day for a week to get the scale to move again. Some people lose regularly, and others lose their weight differently.

I think Tommaney might have the answer, a one on one--or even a small group discussion on problems and solutions. No accusations, no one deciding if someone else is motivated enough for this or not.

The band IS without a doubt fickle! I have gone through times of doing nothing, no exercise, eating as I pleased (although I have to eat like a bandster, small bites chewed well)---and the weight come off anyway. Then other times, I have exercised faithfully, and watched my diet closely only to be plateaued for months on end!

I have had better success than some, and not as much as others. It has taken me 2 years to get to this point. BUT....I am very thrilled with my progress, without the band I would have topped 300 pounds by now, and be feeling more hopeless than ever.

Even without the band, life was not hopeless. There are healthy diets out there---my Dr. harped on it continually. But I felt hopeless----so did not do much to try. I was the one in charge, and I could not get the gumption up to try another diet. I have to admit, had the band not been something that worked for me extremely well in the beginning especially, I too probably would have fallen back into the hopeless routine. It doesn't "feel" like excuses, it is how you view your life.

With all that being said, I was not depressed----just had totally lost hope in ever regaining control of my weight. So I made up for it! I am extremely organized, you ask me for any particular paper or electrical cord---and I can get it for you. I made elaborate meals for the family (which REALLY helped my problem!!) I felt out of control in one area so I made up for it in others.

Now that I do not have the serious out of control feelings, I am letting go of some of the other obssessive qualities too.

Maybe in a smaller setting without the negativity, BrandyII can find her way to do some small things to help her band along----and make it back to a point of it working with her again. There is a new thread totally about mentoring.

Sometimes it is the little steps. Chewing food well was mentioned. Well maybe right now she is not ready to jump on the treadmill, but maybe she can commit to eating her food like a bandster and learning to chew it well again. Then maybe next adjust the diet a bit, drop a food you know to be bad for you. Baby steps.

This whole mentoring thing is not for the tough love crowd. That is ok. It doesn't have to be. As has been pointed out, the tough love is not what is going to work with her....but that does not mean she should be given up on by everybody---maybe just those that, that rubs the wrong way.

We can all move forward at our own pace.....and sometimes it feels like the runners of the world just run right over those of us who cannot or do not run!

Good for you Tommaney---you might be the one to help BrandyII with her break thru!!

Kat

Me too Denise! And good job again, Kat. You're right on, of course.

They call this road to "sobriety" () a journey I think because of all the twists and turns along the way. It is not like gastric bypass or other methods. It is different and although we do have some guidance by the doctor's office, this procedure is relatively new in the U.S. Everyone is still learning and some doctors are a lot less knowledgeable than others. The jury is still out on the big picture of whether it is the solution to everyone's overweight problems. We do need some mentoring and helping each other and that's why this website has been so beneficial for so many of us.

Thanks for taking the time to jump into the fray here!

Brandy, are you still there? I hope you are doing okay.

Thread closed at the request of thread starter.