What did you tell your children?

the best me · March 27, 2005

I did a search and couldn't find a good thread on this. If someone knows of one, please bump it and I'll delete this thread and post there...

BUT......how did you explain your Band surgery to your children? My children are ages 5 (daughter) and 2 (son), and my daughter thinks I'm going to California to get a belly tuck. ??????? I have obviously not had a good conversation with her and she has certainly been listening. Any advice? Even if your kids aren't, or weren't, the same age, all info is good for researchers. Anyway, though it might be a good topic! I know I could use the info!

Feel2Young2B40 · March 27, 2005

Hi Kathy! Good question because although my kids are older (17 and 12) I struggled with what to tell them. I think since your's are so young that I would tell them you're having a minor surgery that will make you feel better down the road.

You know what your kids can handle and what they will understand so I'd go with your gut feelings. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need anything! Have a great Easter also! Laura

Alexandra · March 27, 2005

Hi Kathy,

My kids actually are close in age to yours, and were a bit younger when I was banded. I didn't have to explain anything to them other than that Mommy's tummy hurt. Of course, I didn't have to travel or anything, and I was home the same day. For the weeks afterward all we told them was that Mommy had "something fixed" and she'd be OK.

Now my older daughter sometimes cautions me not to eat too fast. But she doesn't know why that's an issue for me.

bigmom · March 27, 2005

HI Kathy,

My kids are 15,13 and 5. I told them excatly what I was doing. I explained that I was going to make my inside tummy small like a babys ythat is why I had to eat different foods from them in the begining and that soon I would be skinnier and healthier.

My five year old went to school and told her teacher that I had a baby tummy and her teacher calld to tell me congrats on being pregnant she thought that my daughter had actually meant to say a baby in my tummy. (we all hada good laugh) but they understood very well and were an active part in my recovery.

I do believe honesty to the extent that hey can understand is the best policy

Madeline's mom · March 27, 2005

I told my 4 year old daughter that I was going to have surgery to "get skinny" like her.

I think when she first saw me at the airport she was wondering why I wasn't skinny. But I told her it would take a little while for the surgery to work.

vinesqueen · March 27, 2005

My DH has been banded for almost two years, so my son knows all about the procedure, plus, he's 18. He didn't think I needed the band, he didn't think I was that big. "Gee Mom, you wear your weight well!" He couldn't believe that I weighed 270 pounds. I explained to him that my weight is causing me to have terrible asthma problems, like extended stays in hospital.

He is totally supportive.

HarleyNana · March 27, 2005

At that age I'm not so sure you need to tell them anything about the surgery. Kids worry sooner than we think, so why give them something to worry about? Good luck!

princess_n_thep · March 27, 2005

I told my 12 year old that I was having surgery to fix my stomach. That was it. He really didn't need to know much more. And he was a perfect helper when I came home! He has such a good bedside manner! Some woman is going to get a fantastic husband someday!

Pacomomma · March 27, 2005

My son is 17 I told him 3 days before surgery that I was getting a band . He took it very well and asked why I didn't tell him sooner. I think for the little ones to tell them that your tummy is getting fixed would be ok. They might even thinks its fun to eat the same foods as mommy does while your tummy heals .

pati-o · March 28, 2005

My kids are 3.7.9. and 10. I rarely leave them, so when I flew to Ca. with my sister I told them I was going on a vacation so they wouldn't worry. When I got back I told them that I had gone away to have a "rubber Band" put around my stomach so that when I ate food it was tight and made me want to stop eating as much.

I told them I wanted to lose weight so that I could teach them good eating habits, and that I wanted to be able to run and play with them.

Here's one thing I WANTED to say to my 9 year old son who has had a couple of other boys tease him and say things like "your mom is FAT!". I wanted to tell my son that I wanted to lose weight so that he wouldn't be embarrassed to have a fat mom, like I was....... I'm ashamed to admit that I felt that way as a young child, but I did. I don't want my kids to be embarrassed to have their mom show up at school or sporting events.

paula · March 28, 2005

Hi Kathy, this is a great question!

Last summer my kids were 8, 3, 1. I told the older ones that "Mommy was going to have a little surgery on my tummy". The older one questioned more - so I told him that the surgery was going to help me eat less so I can lose weight! Goodluck. God will help you decide whats that right thing to say to them... each family has a different way of communicating!

Vera · March 28, 2005

I think it's harder if your always with them (stay at home mom). The very young don't have a clue...I just went away last month and here I go again. Explaining to my 7 YO, that I have to go away for any reason is so hard. So these days before I go, we have lots of activities and LITTLE instructions on how to help dad and young brother while i'm away. I hate leaving my family, then when I'm away, I'm on the phone too much.

vinesqueen · March 28, 2005

Here's one thing I WANTED to say to my 9 year old son who has had a couple of other boys tease him and say things like "your mom is FAT!". I wanted to tell my son that I wanted to lose weight so that he wouldn't be embarrassed to have a fat mom, like I was....... I'm ashamed to admit that I felt that way as a young child, but I did. I don't want my kids to be embarrassed to have their mom show up at school or sporting events.

When my son was little he came in the house crying because one of his little playmates would never HAVE a fat mamma. He was quite distressed about it....

Tarafeena · March 29, 2005

I told my kids that mommy had to have surgery for gulstones..???. Yes, it's a lie, but, I didn't want the cashier at the grocery store to know about my band.. As for the not eating as much or the same things that I used to, They know that I'm on a diet.. And the little darlings havn't noticed that they are too!! It's all good.. Kathy, it's coming up quick for you, please don't forget to post!!! Good luck to you..

Tara