Why is it that husbands ca'nt seem smell their own farts? I was going to go watch some tv with him and enjoy the evening .... but no, not going to happen tonight. I all most past out when I walked into the room. I screamed... quick spray some air freshener. Then he gets all offended when I make him get up to do it. By gad... I can even smell it coming down the hall now. I think the older he gets the more he has gas.

Does anyone else have this to deal with?

I think I'm getting a head ache.

I do'nt believe this, he came into the office and ..... I think I'm going to be sick.

:biggrin::eek:

You are sooo gross.There are other things to talk about than body functions.PULEEZZEEE

I don't know, it's a pretty good rant topic, I think, and I've been quite enjoying the discussion.

:biggrin:

Wheetsin - LOL!! Love those Wav files!! I haven't laughed so hard since, well, I don't know.

I figure that the threads on here are like channels on the TV -- if you don't like the show, change it. If the title of the thread isn't appealing to you, then you probably shouldn't click on it.

This one cracks me up. I think we can all use some levity at times.

I don't know, it's a pretty good rant topic, I think, and I've been quite enjoying the discussion.

:eek:

When I married into my wife's family, her brother told everyone that I would have to learn how to fart and chew tobacco. Well I never learned how to chew tobacco. My first attempt resulted in clearing up my sinus problems for a month, but I've never tried again. However after being married for 30+ years I can hold my own on the fart front. My DW can always respond in kind when I start and we often say "What on earth have you been eating?" to each other. At least now, we make sure to try and eat the same things or at least at the same place so we'll 'match'. Our cat George doesn't stand a chance.

gk

Viridescence,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost Gus. I had a cat I named after my Dad one time. I went into a big depression when I lost my Charlie.

I now have another boy cat. His name is Shamu; he's a tuxedo black and white. This one is really different then my Charlie. Shamu is kind of sex crazed....he wants to try to stand on my arm and do something.....

Well he is just like a man....if he is having trouble or what ever he will yell at me. Just a like a guy to blame the arm.

Terry

When I married into my wife's family, her brother told everyone that I would have to learn how to fart and chew tobacco. Well I never learned how to chew tobacco. My first attempt resulted in clearing up my sinus problems for a month, but I've never tried again. However after being married for 30+ years I can hold my own on the fart front. My DW can always respond in kind when I start and we often say "What on earth have you been eating?" to each other. At least now, we make sure to try and eat the same things or at least at the same place so we'll 'match'. Our cat George doesn't stand a chance.

gk

Bwahahaha! Love your post and to in order to help you out here follows a recipe for super deadly farts: eat pickled eggs (do you have these south of the border???) and drink lots of beer.

Viridescence,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost Gus. I had a cat I named after my Dad one time. I went into a big depression when I lost my Charlie.

I now have another boy cat. His name is Shamu; he's a tuxedo black and white. This one is really different then my Charlie. Shamu is kind of sex crazed....he wants to try to stand on my arm and do something.....

Well he is just like a man....if he is having trouble or what ever he will yell at me. Just a like a guy to blame the arm.

Terry

This reminds of my cat, the lovely and now lamented Stephen. Although he was neutered he was a wanker and I was his love object. In all my many years of owning cats I had never run across a wanker before. I thought at first that he was kneading me but was merely incompetent at this (due to his insistance on standing up, eh). So I found myself spending lots of telephone time telling all my friends about my lovely brand new (to me, that is - I always make a point of getting second-hand pets) cat, about how he is such a sweet animal, such a knock-out, and how he has such a mania for kneading even though he is so incompetent at doing this! Finally a friend fills me in on the truth. She says: that cat isn't kneading. He's wanking!!!! I was kinda shocked at the time.

You are sooo gross.There are other things to talk about than body functions.PULEEZZEEE

Yup, V is right. If you don't enjoy this channel then there are a whole bunch of others right here on LBT. But you sure are welcome to stick around.

Well put Green....and tackfull.

When I married into my wife's family, her brother told everyone that I would have to learn how to fart and chew tobacco. Well I never learned how to chew tobacco. My first attempt resulted in clearing up my sinus problems for a month, but I've never tried again. However after being married for 30+ years I can hold my own on the fart front. My DW can always respond in kind when I start and we often say "What on earth have you been eating?" to each other. At least now, we make sure to try and eat the same things or at least at the same place so we'll 'match'. Our cat George doesn't stand a chance.

gk

Poor little George. LOL :regular_smile:

All this talk about pets combined with the original subject reminded me of my late dog Chelsea. Back many years ago, DH had been hunting, and killed an elk. We had most of it processed, but kept out several pounds to make Jerky out of. I had dried and made jerky out of about 5 lbs of meat. One of my nephews knocked the zip lock off the counter when getting a drink. I heard it, then something else caught my attention, and we left. I come home to find the bag shredded in the kitchen, and no jerky left.

You could sit across the room, and hear Chelsea's stomach rumble, and she would let loose with the most foul odor...made you gag! She would lay there a minute, give us the dirtiest look imaginable, like WE were responsible, and she would move off to another area of the room. She chased herself off all night long! It was dead of winter, and she was a house dog--but I was so afraid of what might happen when it really went through her intestines, I locked her in the garage! It took a week to air it out from all the gas that poor dog let loose---good thing she did not ignite with the Water heater pilot!!!

Kat

Kat817,

That was halarious. I'm sitting wiping tears out of my eyes. Poor Chelsea, and it was all your fault; well at least Chelsea seemed to think so.

Terry

Can wife chew and fart too?

Neither of us uses tobacco. She never started and I gave up smoking to date her. But she can hold her own in any farting contest. I've learned not to compete, but merely to offer a score. "WHEW! That was a 9.5!" problem is it usually makes her laugh enough that I start laughing and then we both multi-task(laugh & fart at the same time). And George the cat runs from the room to get away, sometimes he leaves a 'present' for us as payback.

Poor little George. LOL :thumbdown:

Speaking of George, he's not so little, 15 pounds. A Tuxedo nutered wanker of a kittty.

gk

Can wife chew and fart too?

Neither of us uses tobacco. She never started and I gave up smoking to date her. But she can hold her own in any farting contest. I've learned not to compete, but merely to offer a score. "WHEW! That was a 9.5!" problem is it usually makes her laugh enough that I start laughing and then we both multi-task(laugh & fart at the same time). And George the cat runs from the room to get away, sometimes he leaves a 'present' for us as payback.

Speaking of George, he's not so little, 15 pounds. A Tuxedo nutered wanker of a kittty.

gk

Good for George. He's giving you and our wife the life of Caviar Dreams and Special Nugets. He sounds like he is holding his own in your family. :thumbdown:

As you all know, before the band lots of us tried nearly every diet ever invented. I went on one once which involved eating a significant amount of died apricots. The first time I ate the apricots was absolutely awful. My abdomen blew up so that I looked about 9 months pregnant and the pain was so severe. I had to pass wind and when I did the odour was indescribably foul. It was so bad that my husband banished me to the spare room during the day!!!

Can anyone remember the "F Plan" diet? I was on that diet and I was shopping with my som who was aged 11 at the time. We were in the stationery store looking for books and pens etc when suddenly I had terrible wind. I tried to clench my buttocks to stop the wind escaping, but was unsuccessful and I let out this ginormous fart, it was like a thunderclap. Of course I was really embarrassed and I said to my son,"come on we must get out of here" my son didn't want to leave, he protested "but I haven't got my pencils yet!" I told him that I did not care and we had to go.

Anyway that is not as bad as my husband who farted and a man fell off his bike.