I would say that I've always been easy on the eyes I'm not sure why people feel uncomfortable saying they are attractive. Im a very blunt person. I noticed when I was much larger even with being easy on the eyes the MALE gaze was not as strong as it is now. Sometimes the Male Gaze was none-existent to be honest. The old me (date 5 and break all 5 hearts) wants to resurface. It astounds me now how men will literally make a 360 in a store, gas station, they could even be with a significant other. Where was this male gaze when I was hitting 313 pounds? What does this say about men and what they presume as attractive? How does your current spouses/boyfriends feel about your weight loss? Any breakups?

Edited November 8, 20241 yr by Mspretty86

6 hours ago, BabySpoons said:

What I don't like is men eyeballing me while they are with their significant other or on a date. I find it highly disrespectful. Lately, while I'm out and about, I have caught women checking me out. Looking to see what their man is looking at. I usually won't even acknowledge him but will smile kindly at the woman. More times than not she returns the smile. It's like a mutual knowing of how f'd up it is. LOL

On the other hand, my man enjoys the attention I get. Which is refreshing since I've had some really jealous BFs in the past. In my pre-obesity days. I think he thinks I make him look good. Kinda like arm candy. Hahaa!

LMAO my husband is the complete opposite, he hates it when men stare and I can tell he stares back at the men looking all "WTF you looking at" HAHA.

13 hours ago, BabySpoons said:

On the other hand, my man enjoys the attention I get.

Mr. always thought/thinks its funny and found/finds opportunities to get a laugh out of it.

the first year or so after wls, we'd go to parties/weddings/whatever where some family members or friends haven't seen me in a while and didn't recognize me. Mr. would pretend he didn't know me and come up to a group im in and out-flirt the flirters, or plant a big kiss or grope on me in front of them and say let's get outta here, and tell the others if ms.sss is looking for him, tell her you didn't see me. that bit didn't last for very long after everyone we knew finally saw the smaller me again. but it was hilarious while it lasted.

a couple years ago i did a fun boudoir photoshoot for my 50th bday. Mr. used one of pictures as his phone's home screensaver for a while. he'd leave his phone on the counter when out and about and people would never fail to say something either in appreciation (for the hot pic, or for his audacity and freedom to put random hot women on his phone) or their disgust (for his audacity to disrespect me so to put random hot women on his phone). sometimes he'd eventually tell them it was me, sometimes no. either way he'd have a laugh.

here's aforementioned pic he used. this was taken a couple years ago on for my 50th bday...

Edited November 14, 20241 yr by ms.sss

10 hours ago, ms.sss said:

Mr. always thought/thinks its funny and found/finds opportunities to get a laugh out of it.

the first year or so after wls, we'd go to parties/weddings/whatever where some family members or friends haven't seen me in a while and didn't recognize me. Mr. would pretend he didn't know me and come up to a group im in and out-flirt the flirters, or plant a big kiss or grope on me in front of them and say let's get outta here, and tell the others if ms.sss is looking for him, tell her you didn't see me. that bit didn't last for very long after everyone we knew finally saw the smaller me again. but it was hilarious while it lasted.

a couple years ago i did a fun boudoir photoshoot for my 50th bday. Mr. used one of pictures as his phone's home screensaver for a while. he'd leave his phone on the counter when out and about and people would never fail to say something either in appreciation (for the hot pic, or for his audacity and freedom to put random hot women on his phone) or their disgust (for his audacity to disrespect me so to put random hot women on his phone). sometimes he'd eventually tell them it was me, sometimes no. either way he'd have a laugh.

here's aforementioned pic he used. this was taken a couple years ago on for my 50th bday...

I am thinking about doing this for my husband after I finish losing weight! I think he will love it!!! ?

On 11/14/2024 at 8:00 AM, ms.sss said:

Mr. would pretend he didn't know me

What funnnn! The flirting, groping and picking you up while the others looked on had to be hilarious. Too funny!!

On 11/7/2024 at 9:39 PM, GreenTealael said:

I find the underpinnings of sexual attraction interesting from an evolutionary/biological perspective. Did you know that there is an ideal hip to waist ratio that indicates sexual attractiveness and can also predict health outcomes? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waist–hip_ratio

There are so many studies of these types biological reasons of attraction, I just don’t take it personally anymore. In fact I say thank you, but keep going about my business.

A few rabbits holes:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/do-looks-matter-in-a-relationship#do-looks-matter:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886920303603

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513806000614

Thanks for posting! I don't want to make excuses for my fellow males, but a lot of this is definitely hard-wired.

In addition to what was posted here already, don't forget the impact of testosterone. This hormone does a lot of things, but it absolutely has a strong influence on desire for sex. My point is again not to make excuses, but any healthy heterosexual male is absolutely going to look at an attractive woman. What they SHOULDN'T do is catcall, or randomly proposition someone. That sort of behavior is NOT okay.

I'm gonna need to see some pics in this post.