This weekend my nerves are in hyperdrive ahead of my Dec 5th sleeve surgery. While you might think it’s surgery itself or pain or resulting restriction that might be making me nervous the root of my nerves is more psychological.

I’m nervous about losing a part of myself, how my relationships might change, and to some degree not having my weight as a protective shield that despite all its faults seems to do a good job of repelling assholes.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited for the surgery and know it’s the right step for me, and will help be become more healthful and confident, but curious if anyone else is worrying about similar things.

8 minutes ago, smc124 said:

This weekend my nerves are in hyperdrive ahead of my Dec 5th sleeve surgery. While you might think it’s surgery itself or pain or resulting restriction that might be making me nervous the root of my nerves is more psychological.

I’m nervous about losing a part of myself, how my relationships might change, and to some degree not having my weight as a protective shield that despite all its faults seems to do a good job of repelling assholes.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited for the surgery and know it’s the right step for me, and will help be become more healthful and confident, but curious if anyone else is worrying about similar things.

I started therapy about a month and a half or two months before surgery. Most of my fears were about complications, not so much about relationships.

I once lost a lot of weight, about 5 or 6 years ago. So, I know that my marriage can handle me being thinner and eating differently. My goal is to be about 30 pounds smaller than I was at that point, but I'm not worried about my relationship.

As far as attention from men, it's not really something I'm exposed to, very much. I don't really go anywhere where men can approach me - unless they do it at the grocery store or post office. In which case I can just say, "Thank you. I'm flattered, but I'm married."

But, I'm sure I won't look like a good target, anyway - even after I lose weight. I dress very, very modestly. In my profile picture, I'm wearing a pajama shirt that is probably more skin than you'll see of me in public - that and my lower arms. I mostly wear t-shirts and ankle-length skirts when I leave the house. I also cover my hair. There are so many other ladies out there, to take a man's attention - he likely won't want to waste his time looking at me. And that's the way I like it.

I think therapy will definitely be an important supportive service I should layer on after surgery. Similarly I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago and my goal is to be about 15 lbs less than that, I was single then as I am now and I think that my experiences then was where some of this is stemming from.

56 minutes ago, smc124 said:

I think therapy will definitely be an important supportive service I should layer on after surgery. Similarly I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago and my goal is to be about 15 lbs less than that, I was single then as I am now and I think that my experiences then was where some of this is stemming from.

I am really happy that I decided to see a therapist. Food is just a symptom, it's not the problem. The problem is me and what's in my head. And I'm really hoping to avoid transfer addictions.

I fully understand. The psychological aspect of all of this can be rough to handle & many ignore it. I'm in a support group with Kaiser, we meet/talk every week & that helps me a ton. I truly feel being in a positive headspace is just as important as our dietary discipline