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59 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

@CapyCapybara I started out with similar stats as you, and it also took 40-50 lbs for anyone to say anything. Even losing 120 lbs now there have been many people who have said absolutely nothing. Agree with others, it can be an awkward subject that people don't want to bring up for a variety of reasons.

Once you have gotten to goal or close and are feeling confident, it can be sort of fascinating to watch people's reactions. There will be those who introduce themselves to you even though you have known them for years. There will be those who are like "OMG, YOU LOOK AMAZING! YOU MUST HAVE LOST 40 LBS!" (when you've actually lost 100 😂). There will be those that complement your hair or new glasses. I view it like a sociological experiment at this point.

Same here. Just the other day, someone asked me if I had lost about 40-50 pounds. Noooooo,,, more like 110!

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Quite a few years ago I had dropped 30 lbs rather quickly, I had stopped taking the birth control I was on and started dieting and exercising, and I was accused of doing drugs! I was like No! I have made some good life style changes!

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Congrats on losing 50lb - amazing.

I think some people have a mental image of us & it takes a long time for it to change to the new reality. A friend said she was surprised when I told her how much I weighed because she didn’t think I was anywhere near that big - I was. A niece asked me last month when I’d cut my hair. It had been >4months since I’d had 12inches cut off & I’d seen her several times (ahh self involved youth).

Also we all carry & lose weight weight differently. Unfortunately it seems the higher our starting weight the longer it takes for any loss to become noticeable. You may find people will comment on a loss of a couple of pounds when you’re near or at your goal.

I think we like to hear positive comments about our weight loss progress because it’s motivating. They reaffirm our achievements & hard work. We are human & we all like to be acknowledged & receive praise. 😁

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Sorry was not being hostile Just who cares if they notice or say anything - We all did this for ourselves is all i am trying to say - It did come off rough. Im crabby this week

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On 2/26/2020 at 5:32 PM, catwoman7 said:

Some people might think you've lost weight because you're sick or something. Or some people might just think it's rude to comment on other people's weight.

This.

I personally think that it's rude to comment on someone's weight, regardless if they gained or lost. Unless they don't bring up the topic themselves I don't comment.

The "the person has lost weight because of an illness" is something to take into consideration. You wouldn't want a compliment on your weight loss while battling a serious disease, would you?

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On 2/26/2020 at 10:43 PM, CheerfulLoser said:

I figure that I was thankful when no one commented when I was *gaining* weight, so I’m going to be perfectly happy for no one to comment on my losses as well!

Absolutely. I hated comments on weight gain and I hated comments on weight loss.

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Well - it’s nice to hear positive feedback. That’s why some of us care. I love hearing how good I look now and I love not hating my reflection. By the way, it took until I was about 100 lbs down before anyone said anything.

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2 hours ago, froufrou said:

Well - it’s nice to hear positive feedback. That’s why some of us care. I love hearing how good I look now and I love not hating my reflection. By the way, it took until I was about 100 lbs down before anyone said anything.

Haha seriously! I am busting my ass in the gym. It’d be nice for someone to throw some positive feedback my way..... I mean I doubt any of these people think I’m sick since they see me in the weight room or spin everyday.

Oh well haha

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My issue is people saying "wow you look amazing - how did you lose the weight?". Because I didn't tell people I had surgery, people are curious. So now I've told pretty much everyone who has asked me that I had sleeve surgery, mainly as the diet and exercise line is a lie, while I've changed both, the sleeve has done the heavy lifting on my weight loss. It's funny though, the more I lose, the less I care if people know I've had weight loss surgery? What makes me quite irritated is people who are already at a healthy weight who ask me - I'm happy to tell fellow obese people as it may help them, but I feel like lots of people just want to gossip about it. I often feel like they are disappointed it was surgery, as they want weightloss tips lol. I also get annoyed my weight is a hot topic now, no-one said a thing when I was eating myself to death, bit now my body and the shape it's in seem to be fair game for conversation.

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I agree there are so many reasons people may not say a thing. My husband took awhile to say anything to me, and that was the one I cared about the most. My oldest son saw me for the first time since Thanks giving and was asking his Dad if I was okay and he knows about my surgery! Last night at an auction, I had a woman that I see a few times a year, she came straight to me and said you have lost a lot of weight, how did you do it because I need to. So, I explained my illness and surgery. She is Amish so I am sure she wont go this route. But, like AJ said I am doing this for me. I am sure people noticed and if they want to compliment me I will take it, but it won't break me if they don't mention it.

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17 hours ago, froufrou said:

Well - it’s nice to hear positive feedback. That’s why some of us care.

Considering how many patients decide to hide their WLS people might simply don't know why one is loosing weight.

A colleague was absent (i. e. on sick leave) for a while and then loses weight like crazy. Could be serious illness as well. I wouldn't want to make a compliment then.

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it's nice to hear when people notice. But I understand. Since August i lost 42ish lbs. The people that i work with on a daily bases can tell i have lost..... But, my husband's family and some of his friends don't say a word unless he said.... Doesn't chris look great... Then they will say something.

But before the wedding when he lost weight..... his family was all about .... Wow tim you lost a lot of weight. Here i was down 20lbs... and not one word.... It did hurt my feelings.... but ohhhh well.

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Eventually you’ll be far from goal and people will start telling you you need to stop losing 🙄. Don’t worry, it’ll come. Congrats on your weight loss, I’m sure you feel a lot better

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On 3/3/2020 at 6:55 AM, summerset said:

Considering how many patients decide to hide their WLS people might simply don't know why one is loosing weight.

A colleague was absent (i. e. on sick leave) for a while and then loses weight like crazy. Could be serious illness as well. I wouldn't want to make a compliment then.

I guess it really is an individual journey then. Some people want to be notice and others don't.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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