The Maintenance Thread

[ms.sss 14,970]

@rs ... Le Sigh. It's annoying...I know what I need to do, but feel like I just don't care/not getting any enjoyment from projects/setting or achieving goals/etc like I used to. I can feel my anal Type A tendencies disappearing...and I find that I'm saying to myself "Why Bother?"

You know, (I forget where you are located..was it Washington?) I think it was mentioned on another thread, but perhaps the recurring theme of the blahs and general malaise for many on this forum I have been reading on threads lately is due to the weather this time of year? (Well, plus we also had PS, so there's that).

Maybe that is why we are having difficulty staying the course?

Maybe we will feel better come spring?

I am going to take your #onedayatatime hashtag to heart today. Eff yesterday, eff tomorrow, eff getting so pissed about my perceived inability to "just do it already".

I am scrapping food and exercise goals today. I will do what I will do and be ok with it. My ONE SINGLE focus for today is to get to the end ofit without getting pissed at what I'm doing or not doing.

Ya with me?

Edited February 7, 2020 by ms.sss

[Sheribear68 3,200]

On 02/07/2020 at 08:24, FluffyChix said:

I hear you. I think this may be partially due to the interruption of routine. But I also think it's about progression and maturation of your surgery. And depression. The crap foods/no exercise/no light stuff all breeds depression and inactivity. I'm a few months ahead of you and I went through this phase. The difference is that I was expecting it coming. It's like the other shoe that I've been waiting to drop. You know? So I was on guard for its arrival. And had a cunning plan in place.

When I feel the "doldrums" coming on and I feel disgust with things I've let slip back into routine from the old dead ways, I immediately know to "SWITCH GEARS" and change the game up on myself. This does something huge for me...it gets rid of boredom and complacency immediately, cuz it's a new game, with different rules. And then I deep dive into researching the newest changes. For me it's mostly about doing the headwork. It truly helps. And it helps to be involved with a real life face-to-face group (online) who have the same mentality.

For you it might be taking baby steps to dump your triggers (ahem...movie popcorn ) and start to clean up the diet. And it might also be adding new workout routines you are allowed to do--even if it's walking in short sprints. You can fast walk after this surgery can't you? And then getting back to doing what you love, running, when released to do it.

It's a scary realization that you can have regain, especially when you've enjoyed so much latitude with your maintenance diet composition. I'm only one bad meal/bad day away from regain. So it's a real see saw and can be a mind f**k. But it also keeps me on my toes. LOL. And it's not a big shocker to me. Cuz well...been dealing with it forevs. But it's much easier mentally and emotionally taking off 2lbs than it is taking off twenty. I'd rather eat miserly for 2-4days rather than 4-8 weeks or longer!

Love everything about this!

One thing that worries me is that now that I’ve almost entirely stopped losing (and yes.... that’s a GOOD thing) I’m going to need other goals to reach, cause the scale dropping more pounds is neither realistic nor adviseable.
This is why I’m starting to focus more on body composition, rather than the number on the scale.

The “high” from the weight loss is over, so that MUST be replaced with something else.

This is why I’ve got a session with my NUT planned on February 12th so we can work together to get my macros to a “maintenance” place that involves me working toward building up more muscle and endurance (she’s a serious runner so I’ll be interested in her thoughts on how many/what types of carbs I might need)
I too realize I’m 2-3 weeks of reckless abandon away from sliding down a dark hole of indulgence that will lead to depression, self-hate, and many of those other things that led me to MO to start with.
Sadly the surgery could only slice out part of my stomach, it couldn’t slice out the part of my brain that’s still “fat”.

Speaking of triggers, any carb for me in a way is a trigger.
Some, obviously are worse than others, but this is why it’s been so darn difficult for me to re-introduce them back into my diet.
Hell, I even had an incident a week or so ago with salad.

Freaking salad set me off for some reason.

This really is a huge mind f**k, but I’m glad we have each other to learn from and to lean on.

[Harsha 168]

Love reading all the posts here. I've been basically maintaining the past two years or so. I'm still 10 pounds away from my goal, but I just was never able to hit it. I seem to lose and gain the same 5 pounds over and over again... but I just can't get to 160.

It's so much harder now that my body really doesn't reject any food anymore, I have to have 100% willpower to not eat bad on my own. I think maybe I just have a case of the winder blah's. I haven't been to a gym since my surgery so I prefer outdoor activities. With the cold winter weather I've been hibernating more than anything.

My biggest issue is getting enough Water. I get so full from my coffee in the morning (I tried giving it up, it wasn't pretty) but it takes me hours to drink it... then I go home I usually have a Bang in the late afternoon (yes I know, energy drink = horrible even if it has no calories and sugar). Some days I have ZERO water!!! The crazy thing is that before surgery I ONLY drank water (gave up soda 25+ years ago) and now I rarely have water. I really need to work on that. Maybe I should grab some hint water right now... sigh

[rs 1,473]

[mention=334772]rs[/mention] ... Le Sigh. It's annoying...I know what I need to do, but feel like I just don't care/not getting any enjoyment from projects/setting or achieving goals/etc like I used to. I can feel my anal Type A tendencies disappearing...and I find that I'm saying to myself "Why Bother?"

You know, (I forget where you are located..was it Washington?) I think it was mentioned on another thread, but perhaps the recurring theme of the blahs and general malaise for many on this forum I have been reading on threads lately is due to the weather this time of year? (Well, plus we also had PS, so there's that).

Maybe that is why we are having difficulty staying the course?

Maybe we will feel better come spring?

I am going to take your #onedayatatime hashtag to heart today. Eff yesterday, eff tomorrow, eff getting so pissed about my perceived inability to "just do it already".

I am scrapping food and exercise goals today. I will do what I will do and be ok with it. My ONE SINGLE focus for today is to get to the end ofit without getting pissed at what I'm doing or not doing.

Ya with me?

I'm with ya, my friend. Yes WA state. This weather (pretty much rainy and gray 10 months of the year!) generally doesn't effect me - moved here nearly 9 years ago but have been on antidepressants for over 20 years. I did just return from Cali celebrating my mom's birthday. I did enjoy the sunshine. Could be that I'm a little down being back at work, plus work itself has been more frustrating than usual this week. Plus I have a stupid cold sore or acne or something that I've messed with and now that area of my face is totally swollen! It hurts, plus I'm extremely embarrassed.

I'm not too sure if the PS is playing a role in my issues because I only had my arms done and I'm doing fine with all of that. I can see where your TT is still wreaking havoc for you. Plus the fact that you were running a lot before and now you're not would certainly factor in.

I agree, we need to be kind to ourselves and ride this wave and focus just one day at a time. Being hard on ourselves will likely make it worse, at least that's what I've experienced during my overweight years.

We've got this - even though I am now going to crawl into bed and try hard not to cry.

Xo

[Cheeseburgh 3,078]

I agree with @Sheribear68 that the “high” from losing weight has to be replaced. I did not have plastic surgery. I was advised a few months ago to get foot surgery. I was told I would have to be pretty inactive for a few months so I decided to wait at least another year. I know my personality and I have to keep moving and active. I stumbled upon refinishing furniture and painting everything in my path to keep me busy.

I stay around 1300 calories a day with an occasional 1500-1600 day, so far that seems to be working for me. I have slacked off on Water thanks for the reminder!
The mind game that has worked for me over the past year: When I’m out to eat (more choices mess with me) I talk myself into something healthy and repeat, “you will not care what you didn’t order or eat 30 minutes from now “ I also look online and decide what I’m having before I leave and never waiver. Sometimes I do plan around a higher calorie unhealthy meal.

Snacks are another area I’ve struggled with, I crave very carby foods when I’m bored. What works for me one month may not work this month. 4/months ago I would grab a coffee with Premier Protein, 2 months ago I’d grab grapes or a 110 calorie meat stick. This month I’ve felt hungrier and I bought a big bag of these cute pink lady apples and that does the trick for now. Are those my first choice for a snack? Hell no, but I ask/tell myself, will I care 30 minutes after I eat it.

My husband and I are going to a fabulous bbq/smokehouse place for lunch today. This is the kind of place that can have a long line out the door on any given day. I already decided I’m having smoked turkey even though I would prefer burnt ends or a burger. (We went a few weeks ago and I planned and had a burger for that outing) I’m sure it will be delicious and I’m also sure will have a few seconds/minutes of self pity for missing out, but I’m ready for that.

It works for me and I can honestly tell you I’ve never cared or regretted what I didn’t order or didn’t eat later that day.

Bonus: I’m stopping at a really cute store that sells my favorite fancy paint (from a Toronto company) on the way to lunch. That is my new “high”.

Getting out of a funk is hard, it would be so much easier if Cher could come over and slap us.

Edited February 8, 2020 by Cheeseburgh

[Cheeseburgh 3,078]

At lunch yesterday I had to call an audible. Much to my dismay they were out of turkey. I really wanted a burger but had not planned a splurge so I went with the pulled chicken. It wasn’t great but I didn’t care 30 minutes later.

Ok, I kind of care because I have leftovers, I’ll probably just toss it.

[ms.sss 14,970]

On 2/9/2020 at 1:47 PM, Cheeseburgh said:

I had to call an audible.

I totally had to Google this. When I first read it, I thought you were saying that you needed to download an audiobook...

#obviouslyNOTaFootballWatcher

[ms.sss 14,970]

So continuing in the vein of "finding a new focus after weight loss"...

Main Point: I think its important to have a bag of other "foucuses" after weight loss. My go-to feel-better-about-myself activity was running/exercise. Due to my slower than anticipated PS recovery, and other self-inflicted setbacks, this coping mechanism is not available to me.

With no other thing to employ to pick myself up, I totally cliché-ed out and actually started drinking more for the purpose of feeling better. After realizing where I was going with that, I am making conscious decisions to NOT drink when I am feeling sh*tty (which is hard, man...work in progress).

Then, I guess I fell back to focusing on my diet and weight as this was one thing I knew I could do and do well, and control, and I knew in the past it made me feel good and accomplished. But the thing is, I don't need to lose any weight. So wth.

So now I am trying to find something I can focus on that I can do in my current state, that is beneficial to my health and well-being, and that I can derive some enjoyment/accomplishment from. This is proving to be difficult and frustrating, and creating a negative feedback loop.

#workingOnIt

Edited February 13, 2020 by ms.sss

[FluffyChix 17,413]

22 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

So now I am trying to find something I can focus on that I can do in my current state, that is beneficial to my health and well-being, and that I can derive some enjoyment/accomplishment from. This is proving to be difficult and frustrating, and creating a negative feedback loop.

You could always come join us tonight for our face-to-face support group. Just sayin'. It's a great group of ladies!

[AngieBear 2,524]

2 hours ago, ms.sss said:

I totally had to Google this. When I first read it, I thought you were saying that you needed to download an audiobook...

#obviouslyNOTaFootballWatcher

Me too! I was very confused!

[AngieBear 2,524]

45 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

So continuing in the vein of "finding a new focus after weight loss"...

Main Point: I think its important to have a bag of other "foucuses" after weight loss. My go-to feel-better-about-myself activity was running/exercise. Due to my slower than anticipated PS recovery, and other self-inflicted setbacks, this coping mechanism is not available to me.

With no other thing to employ to pick myself up, I totally cliché-ed out and actually started drinking more for the purpose of feeling better. After realizing where I was going with that, I am making conscious decisions to NOT drink when I am feeling sh*tty (which is hard, man...work in progress).

Then, I guess I fell back to focusing on my diet and weight as this was one thing I knew I could do and do well, and control, and I knew in the past it made me feel good and accomplished. But the thing is, I don't need to lose any weight. So wth.

So now I am trying to find something I can focus on that I can do in my current state, that is beneficial to my health and well-being, and that I can derive some enjoyment/accomplishment from. This is proving to be difficult and frustrating, and creating a negative feedback loop.

#workingOnIt

I agree with you wholeheartedly. My focus has shifted now from weight loss to exercise/fitness. Garmin is feeding what my scale was. The switch over was pretty damn immediate.

Add to that that you are probably home bored, and, well, I can see why you ended up focusing on food again.

I don't have any major words of wisdom, except that this time WILL pass, and in the meantime maybe research some fun trips to take/etc.? Something to look forward to?

I wish I could fix this for you, just know that you aren't struggling alone in this. Many of us have the same not great coping mechanisms that we are working through. We will all have our ups and downs. I'm really really glad that you are aware of what's going on with you, just naming the thing is a big step.

((hugs))

[AngieBear 2,524]

I've upped my calories to about 1000 - 1100, and feel SO MUCH BETTER. I went for a run yesterday, pushed it, and didn't feel like utter rubbish today. Life with carbs back in my diet is much more comfortable. I am still anxious about gaining, but the 14 day average technique is helping to manage that fear.

Edited February 13, 2020 by AngieBear

[Cheeseburgh 3,078]

I posted this on the Sophomore thread then realized I should have posted it here:

I don’t know if I’m still a Sophomore, I kind of feel like a Junior now. I had my 18 month post op today! The Dr. & nutritionist are both thrilled with my results, although my Dr. would like me to gain 10 pounds because of my age (59). I was honest with him and said there was no way I could psychologically handle an intentional gain at this point which he understood. I’m not losing anymore and I’ve read that a 10 pound bounce is very common by year 2.

There is a monthly support/informational meeting at the hospital for pre and post op patients, they asked me to give a presentation followed by a question and answer session next month. I’m kind of nervous and very flattered that they asked me to do it. I asked if she wanted me to send her a copy of what I plan to say and she replied, ‘No, we trust you”.

I could use some advice. I’m going to discuss my experience of course, foods, menu planning, restaurants, exercise, journaling and most importantly attitude, emotions, expectations, reality and getting and keeping your mindset and motivation.

 Please hit me up with ideas, I want to do a good job!

Sorry about the “Call an audible “ confusion:

call an audible (third-person singular simple present calls an audible, present participle calling an audible, simple past and past participle called an audible)

1. (American football) To change the play at the line of scrimmage by yelling out a new one.
2. (US, idiomatic) To change plans at the last minute based on newly revealed information.

Edited February 13, 2020 by Cheeseburgh

[Cheeseburgh 3,078]

46 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

You could always come join us tonight for our face-to-face support group. Just sayin'. It's a great group of ladies!

I forgot about Sunday!

[Cheeseburgh 3,078]

1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

So continuing in the vein of "finding a new focus after weight loss"...

Main Point: I think its important to have a bag of other "foucuses" after weight loss. My go-to feel-better-about-myself activity was running/exercise. Due to my slower than anticipated PS recovery, and other self-inflicted setbacks, this coping mechanism is not available to me.

With no other thing to employ to pick myself up, I totally cliché-ed out and actually started drinking more for the purpose of feeling better. After realizing where I was going with that, I am making conscious decisions to NOT drink when I am feeling sh*tty (which is hard, man...work in progress).

Then, I guess I fell back to focusing on my diet and weight as this was one thing I knew I could do and do well, and control, and I knew in the past it made me feel good and accomplished. But the thing is, I don't need to lose any weight. So wth.

So now I am trying to find something I can focus on that I can do in my current state, that is beneficial to my health and well-being, and that I can derive some enjoyment/accomplishment from. This is proving to be difficult and frustrating, and creating a negative feedback loop.

#workingOnIt

This is where I was stuck, I started one project and it snowballed into a new hobby. It really keeps me busy and moving during the day.

What do you find fun or interesting? You should consider writing an anonymous blog about weight loss, fashion, exercise, and plastic surgery. Make it fun with a lot of pictures and graphics if you are into that kind of thing or want to learn how to do it.

You are really good at baking. Could you bake for fun and give your finished product away? (Work, husband’s work, kid’s school, nursing home, fire station etc..). If you aren’t tempted to eat it!

You can always join me in painting! Pick out a wood shelf, cabinet, jewelry box, mirror, etc that looks like it needs to be updated or needs a pop of color. Buy a jar of fusion mineral paint, (Toronto company) a couple brushes and a sanding sponge and go to town. Or send me a message and I’ll give you a step by step lol.

Finding something has REALLY helped me, keep trying stuff out, you never know what will grab you. Everyone is surprised that I like updating furniture, (including me) But I’m glad I found something I didn’t know I needed.

Edited February 13, 2020 by Cheeseburgh