Does anyone but me want to keep getting the band a secret? I am scheduled for 12/28 and just don't want to tell very many people. Is it a fear of failing "again" or just not wanting to go through "the discussion"? AND of the few people I am telling--even few of them know that I am going to Mexico to have it done--absolutely because I don't want THAT discussion!! My husband told his father and my f-i-l's remark was"I rather just be fat than have surgery" But like I told hubby--that's because he has no clue--but then most people don't!

so--back to the question--do you tell people ahead of time--or wait till they notice

Mary

I appreciate all the thoughts on this thread. However, most posters here are not saying HOW they kept it a secret. If you work from home, or are a stay-at-home-parent .... I guess it's much easier. But how did most of you keep it a secret? Pre-op and post-op diets? Recovery time? If you work, and were out for a few days or more... how did you cover that up? I work in New York City -- corporate office, and I have clients and teams to be accountable to on a daily basis. We all know each other so well in this office that I could not just use silence.

Good point. I work for myself out of the house, but I have a lot of clients. I told some clients that I was going on vacation and others that I was tied up with another client for that week and wouldn't be available to work for them. All of that was true -- I used my (self-appointed) vacation time to work on my most important client: me. My loss has also been slow and I started out with a pretty low BMI, so no one has suspected anything. Only now am I starting to lose enough weight so that it shows. Since my surgery was in June, no one would ever think to make the connection.

I guess I'm an odd duck. I told all my friends and family and many people at work. I am in a cubicle, and I very quickly got sick of trying to find an empty office to make "secret" phone calls. Heck, at least 20 people have "felt my port" and oohed over my superglued incisions. )

I have yet to have anyone be unsupportive. Some are neutral, but that's okay. I am glad I did it, because at least three people in my company have contacted me and wanted to know more, because it was something they were considering and were scared to try. They see me as a role model - who knew?

The one rule I have is that I try not to volunteer information. Nothing is more boring to most people than listening to someone give the details of their latest medical procedure. If asked, I am happy to tell them whatever they want to know. I can even send them links to surgeries and to this website!

I'm happily letting my freak flag fly!!

I agee with you. I have told my famliy, friends and co-workers. They have all been positive or neutral. I have reached a point where I want to finally lose weight and keep it off and feel that the band is the tool for me.

I told all my family but I haven't told anyone else, not because I care what they think one way or the other but because I don't feel like explaining it to people over and over. As a college professor, I see dozens of people every day and that could get old.

Eventually, if I'm asked about how I'm losing weight, I may tell some people if it's someone with whom I would normally confide that kind of personal detail but otherwise, I'll just say I'm eating healthier food and smaller portions.

I told very few people. I told my family, my immediate family of course, and my good friends who I knew would love and support me. Even now when people see how much weight I lost and ask me how Idid it, I dont tell alot of people. I hate the judgements and stuff...Ill just wait till Im super hott then be like well yeah but look at me now! However, people who are overweight and I feel really want to know so they can hekp themselves, I am very upfront andhonest about it. I feel I made a good descion and if my weight loss can help others turn thier lives around like mine did...

As for everyone else, bc I go to school, I told people I had a portion of my small intestine removed, my gall bladder removed and the sphincter between my esophagus and stomach operated on. The intestine and gall bladder my sister had taken out, and restricted what foods she could and couldnt eat and how fast, it also helped with the surgery. As for the other, well I kinda made it up, but I told people it was because I wasnt able tokeep food down, which is what that sphincter does, so the doc tried to repair it..they have no clue what caused it, but whenever I overate, I told people my sphincter was acting up..people never questioned it..Works...maybe not honest, but it makes me more comfortable then telling people how Ive been overweight and depressed for so long and all that, plus so many people think this is a quick fix...which its not!

I've told pretty much everyone. My immediate family, my friends, my co-workers. Everyone has been so wonderfully supportive, and I actually like having the accountability of knowing that everyone is aware of my band.

The only one who knows is my husband. I have a very supportive family and I'm sure they would not make negative comments and would only be supportive. Having said that, I just don't feel like answering the questions or having people watch what I am or am not eating, or watching my progress, etc.

Will I change my mind in the future about telling people? I don't know. For now though, I knew if I told anyone, they would surely tell someone else because people have a hard time keeping secrets.

There were times when it was almost impossible for me to keep this secret myself and wanted to tell people. I'm surprised that I didn't.

I think my surgery was at a great time. It was right after Thanksgiving and I will be on mushies by the time Christmas comes and after that, I probably won't see most of them consistently enough for them to see what I'm doing. Hopefully they will just see the new me and be happy.

Hello Jarvis,

I didn't tell anyone but my grown daughters. I asked them about it and they said, you don't need to put out a news bulletin. I thought, that's right, but I won't actually lie about it if anyone ask me directly either. It's your business!

Good luck,

Donna

can somebody explain to me how to put out a message to everyone, not a particular person? I have a question for people.

donna

I not only told everyone I know but I also blog about my surgery on my myspace page. There are so many people that are considering it and look to my page to get some answers. I wanted all the support I could get. I had some people that didn't think I needed it but they were wrong. I am so glad I told everyone because the support I get is unreal.

I pretty much did the same thing. First of all, I know just how hard it is to lose weight and don't want others who are trying to look at me and think that I lost if just by diet and excercise and wonder why THEY can't. Second, I work in a position at a company where everyoe's going to see me and everyone was going to know. Not to mention all the work I had to miss for various appointments, everyone wanting to know why I was turning down cake and only drinking Crystal Lite, etc.

It was a little tough - especially since a lot of my coworkers have only known me for six months and tried to give me the "I just don't think you've tried hard enough" speech, lol. But all in all, it actually helped. I'm getting banded Friday and there's no way I could have survived the pre-op diet this well without the people I'm always around knowing!

On the other hand, the constant questions can be frustrating, which is why I started blogging, etc on my Myspace page.

Donna, first go to the Home page and decide which category your question fits into (Preop/Postop or General or Support) and click into that category.

Then at the top left you will see a button for "New Thread" and that's all there is to it!

I told my two grown children and three of my closest friends that I'm going to get LBS. I didn't tell any of my coworkers yet . I didn't want them to try to talk me out of something I know I need .

And boy will they try! Ever notice it's always the skinniest ones that try the hardest! I didn't tell anyone until I was sure I was going to do it, and was surprised at my own conviction. It actually made me MORE sure of my decision when I had to "defend" it to others. Weird, huh?

Before I made up my mind that this is what I neded , a few of my coworker and I were talking about WLS and they all thought it was the easy why to lose weight and if people tried hard enought they could lose on their own. I've tried for over 30 yrs and I know I need help

I'm not getting banded til January 08.. I haven't told to many, but if someone is talking about it, then I'll say it. My hubby didn't want me to be fake and take all the credit. !! that really stung for a few days, then I explained the procedure and HOW it will assist me in losing weight, get it, ASSIST me. anything can be beat. then he was all supportive. The problem I have encountered with telling, is the good ol' Have you tried diet and exercise? !! I nearly scream everytime I hear that, or the ones that want to share the latest diet with me. Of course these folks are over weight themselves or so dang skinny, you could choke them with one hand ! LOL So, my point is, I've shared with those that I am comfortable with. I do have some extended friends that won't be happy or do the happy face to me and stab me in the back after I walk off. But that's ok.. its my 'loss' that will win !!!