Does anyone but me want to keep getting the band a secret? I am scheduled for 12/28 and just don't want to tell very many people. Is it a fear of failing "again" or just not wanting to go through "the discussion"? AND of the few people I am telling--even few of them know that I am going to Mexico to have it done--absolutely because I don't want THAT discussion!! My husband told his father and my f-i-l's remark was"I rather just be fat than have surgery" But like I told hubby--that's because he has no clue--but then most people don't!

so--back to the question--do you tell people ahead of time--or wait till they notice

Mary

hi all

I go for my first appt tommorow 26 11 07 and only told my husband last nite. for the simple reason he would tell his mum. she is against it.also she has the biggest mouth . which is not good we live in a small town where everyone nearly nows everyone buissness! as the day my gp suggested it to me. we went round hers after my monthly apt with gp.

I didnt say anything about what gp said to me. then she suddenly went of on 1 why its so bad wronge ect ect .....

its my body my life I do what I want!!!!!

reason for above outburt

I also have pcos which also adds to wieght probs. all the ? why cant have children why havent got children ectect...

all I ever wanted is to b a mum.

sorry for rants.

the only people that no is my best friend of 20 years and my hubby and thats the way I want it to stay!!!

yeah and you guys on here now lol

all the best

belly-go-belly

hi, this is my first time here...my son is waiting to get approved by ins. Hopefully another month for the surgery. We have the money to pay for it, but they seem to really want it paid by ins, rather than us, i guess you get more money that way...this is at Mercy Hosp in chicago....he's told just about all his close friends..and our close family members....I m just really nervous about the whole thing. He has sleep apnea real bad...his 21 but weighing 377. I m praying this will help.

Hi lastresort: This will help your sons sleep apnea! I am not a doctor but was told by my lap band surgeon that sleep apnea can be caused by the excess fat around the throat area and it compressing the breathing airways! Has your son attended any of the support groups? They are quite helpful.

All the best and don't worry!

Hello all!

I was banded earlier THIS week! And... have already lost 11 lbs !!!

I only told my DH when I wanted to start the process. Mostly cause I have been on a ton of diets over the years (just like everyone else w/ the band) and didn't want to hear negative stuff.

After I was on my way through the diet, almost at the end, I started telling a few people. Some thought surgery was drastic and shouldn't I just stick to my diet (btw - pre-band, I only lost like 25 lbs - since Feb.) Some were surprisingly supportive, though!

About 2 weeks before my surgery date was official, I pretty much come out of the "banded closet". I figured it was easier then answering all of the questions later. It was better than I thought, actually.

I think telling someone you are trying to accomplish something is actually harder than just telling them you are doing it.

Hope that helps to anyone wondering if they should come out of the "banded closet", too.

The Coworker that I have been doing the entire process with told everyone at work that we both was getting banded now all day people are sking why are you doing this you don't look that big (what the hell do u mean that BIG ) did u try exercising? (what the f%@*) what can u eat? (S&%$) this is the reason I didn't want anyone to know and now she regrets it. the good thing is that I work for a Bank so I can just transfer to a different Branch closer to my house a fresh start.

:angry

my husband, my mom, dad, sisters, and brother, 2 online friends (each has had wls, one has the band and one had bypass), and one old friend. and i wish i hadnt told her. she was just shocked that i would go to Mexico to do it. "havent i seen those dateline shows about mexican doctors?" shock and gasp. yep, and i have seen those shows about american doctors as well! i havent told any other family for fear their responses will be like hers. or even more negative, or "why? just be happy how you are" yes, well, i am not, so i am doing something to change it.

i think just be comfortable with who you tell. if you have any reservations about telling someone, wait. i sure wish i would have! but oh well, life goes on.

Okay, here is a new one. I don't want to tell my husband. He hates me being fat, but he also hates all doctors. We don't sleep together except once a week (I am sure you can figure that out) and if I am sick, etc, I can easily go three weeks without him in bed.

As you have guessed, we don't have a relationship that is intimate and promotes sharing. We have three kids and we like each other okay, so we stay married. I am not unhappy, it's just the way it is.

I travel 50% of the time, most of the time he has no clue what state I am in.

My son is 19, and I have confided in him. Thinking of staying at a hotel for a day or two after.

Am I crazy? I am just starting the process, surgery would be late January.

I'm with you. My surgery date is in Dec and I have only told my sister (besides hubby). I'm very private and feel ashamed that it has come to this and that I have no choice but to get this done. Good luck to you!

I am sorry to here that Mary but you need some type of support you will need someone to help you post opt. what are you going to tell him when the weight starts to come off ?

yes, i am leary of telling the wrong people, some won't support you. i just had my band last week 11-21 and this is my first day back at work. no one seems to notice anything so i just feel like not telling.

He won't care how it happened, only that it happened. Having a fat wife is his biggest nightmare.

I am close to some friends at church, and rather get my support there.

Is that so terrible of me?

I only told my parents and my husband. No one else will ever know. It is my personal, private life and it's no one else's business. When others comment on how much weight I've lost, I tell them that I am working out every day and eating less. Those things are true. The rest is nobody's business.

I haven't told a soul and I'm still very happy with that decision.

When folks ask how I am losing weight I tell the truth: "I'm just eating less".

mary as long as you got support from some where u will be fine but are you sure you will still want to to be with him after not loving you though thick or thin. that's why I love my husband so much he loves me fat or skinny I hope you find what u need as we all will be here for you. we know the struggle

I'm not hesitant to tell people about my surgery for a couple of reasons. One, I have friends who could benefit from a lap band, and while I would never try to talk them into it, I feel that as my friends they should have the opportunity to know someone who has done it and can talk about the process. Secondly, I am a self-confirmed know-it-all and have a snarky little part of me that likes to tell people they don't know what they are talking about. I don't mind getting into discussions about the whole bariatric surgery/Mexican surgery thing.

I have had some people tell me I am not "big" enough for surgery too. I just take that as an intended compliment or a slightly nervous response because they don't know what to say, so they are trying say something nice. I could be wrong, but I would rather look at it that way than to take offense.