Does anyone but me want to keep getting the band a secret? I am scheduled for 12/28 and just don't want to tell very many people. Is it a fear of failing "again" or just not wanting to go through "the discussion"? AND of the few people I am telling--even few of them know that I am going to Mexico to have it done--absolutely because I don't want THAT discussion!! My husband told his father and my f-i-l's remark was"I rather just be fat than have surgery" But like I told hubby--that's because he has no clue--but then most people don't!

so--back to the question--do you tell people ahead of time--or wait till they notice

Mary

I only told my husband (of course), my mom, my kids and a few of the girls at the gym that had the RNY. They have been a wonderful support group for me. I only took off one week from work and just called it vacation time. The weight loss has been so gradual (18 lbs in 2 months) that a few people are starting to notice but I just tell them that I am working out and eating more protein, which is the truth. Good luck!

FIrst let me say thanks all that have support me you have been nothing more than a true blessing to me. Banded and non banded ppl let me say somethihng if you don't feel comfortable tell ppl then tell GOD he already knows what your feeling and he will take you thru everything you need to get thru. We are doing this for us is is away to be assisted in losing weight and i know alot of ppl think we are coping out but until they walk in our shoes they have no idea so smile and be polite because GOD ain't sleeping thanks again for everyone's support

your awesome and thanks for the support you are a true blessing to me

You know what I am still waiting to be approved and I am going through the very same thing. I have told a few of my family members but not all of them, its a very personal thing and whenI am ready to let them know I will tell them. Until then " the cats still in the bag" =)

I have told my children, and of course my husband. My father and sister also know. However... my sister said that God made us fat, and why should we try to be anything different!!!! *yeah.. it made me laugh too*

She's heavy as well.. larger than I am.. and she's just afraid that I will be thin while she is fat.

So.. I've only told 1 person at school. She's the one person I know that can actually keep a secret!! Since I'm going to be losing with the lap band, and the weight loss will be slow, I don't think people will really notice. I may be wrong, and if anyone asks me point blank.. I will tell them.

It's personal. It's sorta like having hemmoroid surgery... you surely wouldn't tell anyone that!!!! *well.. I wouldn't*

It's my journey.. and I think that there are MANY people out there who want us to fail. In fact... we've had the discussion at work about a co=worker who had the surgery... and how wonderful she looks.

But.. the usual comments.. "as long as she can keep it off" or "golly.. she has so much skin on her body.. I'm sure it's hideous"

Keep your secret.. OR.. you could just say you are having hemmoroid surgery!!! *giggle* surley no one would ask to see your scars.. *evil giggle*

Hi I'm having my lapband on Dec. 6. I have only told one person and thats my mom. I work with all women and I know the reaction I would get would not be supportive.

Amen. If it were not for my faith in the Lord I could have never gone thru with this surgery in the first place. I truly feel that he led me thru this and I will only face success because his hand is in it. Thanks for reminding me of my faith!

i told all of my family members and family friends who live in my hometown.

however, where I reside I have only told 5 people. 5 people that i eat most of my meals with.

eventually i will tell everyone. but i want to get results. to me:

the only thing worse than having to have wls is to not lose any weight after having it.

good luck to all!

I told people.. BUT, for some reason people think that once you get it... all the work is done for you... like it's a magic pill or something. I had to do the work... I had to watch what I ate. I had to resist the temptations. Yes, the band helps me (now) control eating too much... but for 6 months that the band wasn't adjusted correctly... it was all me. I did it so that when I lost the weight, and then gave up (as I always did) I wouldn't put it back on plus more. Now I'm still losing... I feel great... and the band is helping. But, I hate that people always think it's been easy for me.

I have a hietal hernia that has been causing me problems for months. Which worked out great because my surgery to cure this is actully the lapband surgery itself. My husband, Mom & Siblings know, but I did not want anyone at work and some friends to know because they would be negative about it. As far as these people are concerned, last week, I had surgery to correct my hietal hernia. And I did, they just don't know about the lapband.

Certain people will not understand what we are doing and how we know that this is what we need to do to help ourselves. I have had so many well wishes & support to get better after this surgery, but I know if I had mentioned the lapband - this experience would have been completely different. And yes, I feel terrible about not being completely honest, but I have to think about what is best for me right now and I can't deal with the drama of certain people knowing about the band.

I really think you hit it on the head, Peaches...

People don't have the same compassion about lap-band surgery as they do for your hernia surgery.

I think being obese (which I currently am..) has been associated with a stigma of being unable to control themselves.. in this case with food.

Hmmm... wish they could only walk a day in my shoes...

How did you leave the hospital? I have not told anyone either about my upcoming surgery!

I'm going to Mexico

Mary

SECRETS, I think the best thing to do it only tell people that you are having surgery to reduce your BMI. Tell them that is stomach related, and no big deal. That is what i did, because most people have no idea what BMI is, and i found out they really didnt care anyway. I had to break down and tell my daughter, because i had no one to drive me home from surgery, i was really considering taking a bus home, or cab, but thought it would be more senseable the other way. I have lost 29 pounds, and it has been over 2 months. No one is asking me any questions, discussing weight loss with me, and all the other details, that are none of their business. If i gain a pound, or loose 15, it is my business. People are really weird about this surgery, especially if Mexico is involved, they have done no research like we have, and have no idea at all. I think it is ok to keep it to yourself, i plan on revealing my real reason slowly, to all my loved ones, just as i plan on loosing my weight slow and steady. If you tell one person word travels really fast. especially at work, so keep quiet, its our business, our journey, and our accomplishments, no one else's. I have never needed validation, praise, or a pat on the back for anything i have done, and that includes weight loss. I know that it will be noticed, but in the mean time, i am enjoying the ride all alone, and i love it! good luck to all of you!!

Did I tell anyone? Yes...my husband, my sis, 3 of my closest friends and one coworker. Havent regretted it yet. Didnt and am not going to tell my parents or in-laws. My mom is incredibly judgemental. She was overweight years ago and through hard work and diet, she lost over 60 lbs. She would have given me tons of grief.

As for how did I keep it secret? Much like everyone else. Told my boss I was having surgery (female issues) and would be out for a week for recovery. He never asked for any more details and as far as my coworkers know, I'm on vacation (I was banded on 11/30. RTW on 12/10).

It's a very personal decision and obviously it's up to each one of us as to how we handle it. The band is mine and all that goes along with it!