Panic and Paranoia

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

WLS has been a mind-f___ for me. Yesterday I had a spa day and they had these little brownie cubes and i ate two. They were very small, like dice. I estimated the calories and tracked them as best as I could, and I was within my total calorie limits. Later that night I kept thinking about it and was filled with unreasonable panic and dread. I felt fat, and while completely illogical I almost felt like the scale was going to ballon up this morning. I kept feeling my fat and felt bigger. Intellectually I know 3,500 calories equals a pound, but I couldn't wrap my head around facts.

Another weird thing is that I get nervous when the scale doesn't move, and oddly enough, when it moves fast. I lost really fast this week, faster than usual, and I keep getting on the scale, checking, seeing if it's right, wondering if that means I'm bound for an epic stall, wondering if I am doing anything differently that I can keep up. And I keep getting scared that suddenly the losses will suddenly stop, or that they surgery will stop working altogether. If I eat one bite too much I worry I will stretch out my sleeve and ruin it. I keep obsessing about people who gain it all back after surgery, even though I'm nowhere near goal yet.

Has the surgery messed with your head?

[MegPRN 204]

I worry, too.. I don't panic, but I do feel fat if I eat foods that aren't on the approved list (popcorn, chips/dip, chocolate). It gets especially bad around PMS time, because I crave sweets/carbs and then retain Water, so I really am bigger/heavier during that time of the month. It's a mindf*ck for sure. I've mostly stopped weighing myself at home because my scale is pretty unreliable (I get different readings depending on what part of the floor the scale is sitting on - tile vs wood).

My eating habits right now make me worried I'll be a re-gainer - I'm only 6 months out, I have about 3-6 months left of my "honeymood" period, and if I don't rein in the snacking now I'll have a bad time in the future. I start out each day with a plan, and by the afternoon (when I get home from work and pick up my daughter from the sitter) and late night, after dinner, when the kids are in bed.. that's when the cravings hit. I need to make a plan for those times.