I asked Ryan's permission to post a support thread for him and his wife, Patty.

Ryan's wife had a debilitating back injury that has left her incapacitated and in severe chronic pain. Ryan is her husband, best friend, lover, primary breadwinner, and primary caregiver. Patty was receiving some pain relief recently from an implanted catheter that steadily releases medication. But a careless homeworker caused her to abruptly lose this catheter. Since then, Ryan has been trying to keep Patty comfortable with pain meds., but these are only keeping her heavily sedated.

On, Monday, 1/24, the surgeon will reinsert the tunnelled epidural catheter. This will be placed in her epidural space in her cervical spine with no sedation. At this time, this device has offered Patty the most effective form of pain relief currently available.

Ryan has stressed that they've been through much worse times. He realises this is just a day by day thing. But their main concern and hope is for a successful catheter implant and some relief from her chronic pain.

May the Goddess protect you both. My most sincere prayers of love and comfort to you both. Several years ago, my mother had terrible back pain, so I have an idea of what you are currently going through.

I am sending healing thoughts your way. You know we will be with both of you in spirit and will be eagerly awaiting a progress report.

Nancy

Ryan and Patty, I also will keep you both in my prayers for a successful surgery, and relief from the pain that Patty has been enduring. May you both find strength and comfort in knowing that you are loved by so many.

Ryan, I hope the new catheter will bring the relief Patty needs. Be sure you take care of yourself and rest the best you can. Be careful traveling. We miss you here and will welcome you back when this ordeal is over.

God won't put any more on you than you can handle and he will come to you in your darkest hour....He is there for you and so are we. I will pray for you both strength and health and a wonderful life together for years to come!

I wanted to post earlier, but I couldn't compose myself long enough to do it. Don't know if I'll make it through the whole post this time or not.

You see, the thing about men is, they don't cry. We're taught to be strong. And the strong don't cry. Yet, if we did, if only we would let ourselves feel our emotions, we would get through life so much better. Maybe women outlive men because women are strong enough to cry.

Thank you. I wept this morning when I read this thread. And I wept again tonight when I read it again. I wept at work, and on the drive to and from.

I shed tears for the troubles I endure, I shed tears for the pain of my wife, truly the light of my life, which I am powerless to fight. I shed tears for other reasons, selfish reasons, perhaps, grieving my losses in the last few years and months. I miss so many things like having fun with my girl (yes, my girl, and she will always be my girl), things like free time, a lazy day. A day without schedules, finances, or care.

But most of my tears were tears of wonder, tears of joy. My heart swelled at the flood of support here. The well wishes you all have written have such a healing power. My cheeks are wet as I write this, my head aches, and my nose is plugged, from weeping. Thank you. Thank God for all of you.

I think about giving up a thousand times a day. But I always find a reason to go on. I love my wife, is the most important reason, but your support is a close second. I can find no words, no eloquence to properly tell you how I feel, how grateful I am for you all. But let me say just this: If my lapband were a total failure, if the surgery and all the testing beforehand turned out for nothing, still this would have been the best experience of my life. Because I found this cyber place, and I found all of you. People who know the fear and shame of obesity. People who know how to empathize, people who understand how to care.

I feel I am the recipient of a miracle. And the miracle is you.

I will carry your words with me on the road, and I will be comforted.

Oh, Ryan, you are a Sweetheart and I know Patty is just as precious! You hang onto hope and faith. They are powerful tools! Patty's pain will ease and your worries (emotional and financial) will ease. Thank you for letting us share your burden.

Oh my dear brother, Ryan. I did not know you and Sweet Patty were struggling so. I have been too busy with my job to get online much this year. I am so sorry she is in pain and needing to be sedated. You are not able to share the day with the real Patty when she is medicated so intensely. I will pray for safe travel, insight and wisdom for the Doctors, compassion for all who care for her (no one will be as great as you though), and for a miracle of pain relief for a sweet person who has suffered too much. I have said before that I believed that 2005 was going to be a miracle year for both of you -- I am hopeful this is a small part of the steps necessary for this miracle.

You alone as a person are a miracle. You have touched so many lives here and have caused us all to pause and think about things differently and yes, to wipe many tears when emotions were evoked with your extremely eliquent posts. I will forever remember many of your stories, especially about the little boy who's loving Mom took his hand in the cold of the night of Christmas Eve and encouraged him to be still and listen to the silence. I am certain that every time I hear Silent Night, I will think of you and your Mom and say a prayer in thankfulness for you sharing your story of that night. That story alone touched me in many ways.

Ryan, God has blessed you with much love in your life, I am glad that all of us are part of that. You are such a part of us. Please know we will be praying for you, thinking of you and wanting only the very best for you and your dear wife. Please let us know - as time permits - how you are and also how Patty is. Please let us know if there is anything else we can be doing for you to lighten your load right now. Is there anything else we can do? Please let us know, if humanly possible, you know we will do it.

I hold you close in a hug and prayer and ask God to envelop you in His peace, love, guidance and wisdom. I love you my dear brother Ryan and through your stories, I also have come to love Patty. Theresa Marie

Whip, I was just thinking of you yesterday cause you haven't been around. Hope to hear you back soon with some good, painfree news.

Oh, Ryan and Patti, I hurt for you both. I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts and send you nice, warm, tingly healing vibes from the Frozen North. Here's hoping they can place the catheter nice and easy as you please, so Patti can get some good pain relief. Ryan, I know Patti needs you right now, but try not to neglect your own needs for food and rest too much, okay? She needs you strong and healthy. Okay, lecture over.

Vibes comin' your way... <~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still thinking a praying for you both! Please keep us posted Ryan.

Hey Ryan,

Marie and I were saying earlier that we wish we would live closer to you, just to help with meals, laundry, house work, etc.

Heck, I wouldve even gone to Walmart for you the other day!

(((hugs)))

God bless you!

Got home from work yesterday at 8:00 PM, did chores, laid down at 9, and up at midnight.

We got on the road about one AM and made it there in plenty of time. They did the procedure/surgery and gave her a bolus and she felt immediate relief. She was sleeping comfortably when I went home. I needed to get back here to take care of my dogs, and go to work tomorrow. Only thing is..............she's doing so well they're going to release her tomorrow. I gotta get up and drive back down. Sheeeesh.

Well, I've had about three hours sleep since Sunday Morning. Gonna go to bed for a while before I drive back down.

Thanks for all the caring, guys, you can't know how much it means.

Hey Ryan,

Glad she is finally comfortable. My thoughts are with you both and I hope you have an uneventful trip home with her tomorrow. The poor thing... Best of luck to both of you and please get some sleep! Teresa

Drive carefully! I hope everything is uphill for you now!