Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Help! Need to get out of my head. :(



Recommended Posts

So I just hit the halfway mark to goal - 51 lbs. down and 3 months out - and mostly I'm thrilled. But yesterday I spent the entire day feeling like a loser because "why did I let myself get that big to begin with????" "How could I have done this to myself???"

I'm trying really hard to focus on how wonderful this journey is, but my messed-up mind keeps wanting to obsess on the mistakes I made in the past that got me to 272 lbs.

I'd really love some advice/tips from those of you who've battled this mind-trap and won.

Tks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you working with a psychologist at all? I'm working with one and I have to say it's the best decision I've made. What got us into this place is way more complex than getting sleeved. Just a suggestion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, AllyJonesVSG said:

So I just hit the halfway mark to goal - 51 lbs. down and 3 months out - and mostly I'm thrilled. But yesterday I spent the entire day feeling like a loser because "why did I let myself get that big to begin with????" "How could I have done this to myself???"

I'm trying really hard to focus on how wonderful this journey is, but my messed-up mind keeps wanting to obsess on the mistakes I made in the past that got me to 272 lbs.

I'd really love some advice/tips from those of you who've battled this mind-trap and won.

Tks.

We are all a work in progress. Never stop growing.

Self talk is something to work on. The negative messages that we tell ourselves and have herd from others is damaging. Build yourself up don't beat yourself down. It's ok to let go of the former obese person. There is no shame in having a disease that you are treating. You are overcoming many things in this process. Forgive yourself. Love who you are never apologise for living your fantastic life.

Edited by skinnylife

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, AllyJonesVSG said:

So I just hit the halfway mark to goal - 51 lbs. down and 3 months out - and mostly I'm thrilled. But yesterday I spent the entire day feeling like a loser because "why did I let myself get that big to begin with????" "How could I have done this to myself???"

I'm trying really hard to focus on how wonderful this journey is, but my messed-up mind keeps wanting to obsess on the mistakes I made in the past that got me to 272 lbs.

I'd really love some advice/tips from those of you who've battled this mind-trap and won.

Tks.

You are not alone. I've had these feelings also. Accompanied by the regret of not having this surgery sooner. For me to lose enough weight even with surgery, statistically, its very unlikely I'll ever be within a "normal healthy" BMI. If only I had done it 50-60lbs sooner...

All kinds of regrets and feelings, but I put them aside, because we did make this decision. We are putting in the work now. We can't dwell on the past. We have to strive for the future.

Congrats about your 51lbs! That is great!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ AllyJones VSG, turn that around. Say Although ONCE I WAS that big, I turned it around. I made the right change, hey I am a ,pretty smart individual. 9h I am NEVER going to slide back there again, this a NEW DAY,and now I am a NEW Ally, I can do this after all. Mentally pat yourself on your back, give yourself a kiss, what ever makes YOU feel better and keep going forward. You proved to yourself you're NOT a LOSER! In the grand scheme of things that's pretty cool! Buck up Buckaroo , ride that pony🐎 to the finish line!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/13/2018 at 12:29 PM, Cynisca said:

Are you working with a psychologist at all? I'm working with one and I have to say it's the best decision I've made. What got us into this place is way more complex than getting sleeved. Just a suggestion.

I was but you're right. I should again. Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/13/2018 at 2:24 PM, skinnylife said:

We are all a work in progress. Never stop growing.

Self talk is something to work on. The negative messages that we tell ourselves and have herd from others is damaging. Build yourself up don't beat yourself down. It's ok to let go of the former obese person. There is no shame in having a disease that you are treating. You are overcoming many things in this process. Forgive yourself. Love who you are never apologise for living your fantastic life.

Thanks. That's very good advice, in all areas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/13/2018 at 3:09 PM, AshAsh1 said:

All kinds of regrets and feelings, but I put them aside, because we did make this decision. We are putting in the work now. We can't dwell on the past. We have to strive for the future.

Very wise. I need to remember this. Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 8/14/2018 at 11:35 AM, Frustr8 said:

Mentally pat yourself on your back, give yourself a kiss, what ever makes YOU feel better and keep going forward. You proved to yourself you're NOT a LOSER! In the grand scheme of things that's pretty cool! Buck up Buckaroo , ride that pony🐎 to the finish line!

You're right!! Thanks!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my sad moment just like that the day after the surgery. It came out of no where too! I thought I was over that harsh self blame. I felt so profoundly sad and I would try to reason with myself, tell myself it was just the medications, the pain, hormones anything but what it really was--feeling bad and sad about what I let happen to myself. I watched it, lived with it, suffered it, and I didn't fix it until it was nearly too late. I couldn't do it alone and never could all the 43 years of my life. I was shy of doctors 'cause it seemed like every time I saw one for anything at all I would get that serious stare and a reminder that I was fat, very fat and "I" should do something about it. I wish just once a doctor would have said, "Let me help you!" But, I needed to advocate more strongly for myself and I never did because I was so ashamed and so lost in myself about eating. "YOU SAVED YOURSELF!" How wonderful that is! You, all on your own, decided you wanted to live and be pain free, active, excited about waking up, working, reaching out to new people and making new friends and letting go, once and for all, to your suffering and self loathing. You just need to take that one last little step where you forgive yourself and move on. Maybe you do need to seek the help of a psychologist or maybe you can wake up and see things a little different, but one way or the other, you should not suffer mentally over it for any length of time, any longer. Support groups can be very useful here too. Chin up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we all have a moment of "Dang, I'm never going to be the same! Sure that is true, but still inside YOU ARE STILL YOU, we need,you,Your Youness makes the world better for you just being you. Sure you or your insurances paid your money, made your choices, now tug up your Big boy or girl undies, plaster a big smile😛 upon your face and get on with life. Life is worth living, doesn't come with instructions unless it is a book you personally find holy, but you'll get through every challenge and keep moving. No one wants to stand still and risk someone else having to,dust them, being a statue isn't half as much fun as being,a people. Wave as you go by, we all are travelers on that road.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, BurBur said:

"YOU SAVED YOURSELF!" How wonderful that is! You, all on your own, decided you wanted to live and be pain free, active, excited about waking up, working, reaching out to new people and making new friends and letting go, once and for all, to your suffering and self loathing.

You are so wise and so kind to reach out to me when your own struggle has been so much harder. Thank you. I'm putting a card on the wall next to my computer that says "I SAVED MYSELF!!" so I can remember.

xoxo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And Ally I too shall post such a card because it is so true. We have to Each be the one who saves Us. In the dark of night, in stormy times, we have to believe in ourselves, and step bravely,into the future. Love and Sunny Days Ahead, ya gotta believe it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are both so sweet! It's the phrase I tell myself anytime I feel a little case of the "ickys" coming on. And darlin', my struggle is no harder than yours or anyone else. It's just different and I have a super great attitude about it all (most of the time :P). It only gets better e'ery day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No reason to feel that way! You are doing amazing, and just keep remembering that. Personally, I got so heavy because I love food so much. Food made me extremely happy, but it was only when I was eating. Then, when I woke up in the morning, I felt disgusting and hated myself. I hated always thinking about food and how happy it made me. I am scared I am going to go back to my old ways, but I hope I can fight through and this sleeve will keep reminding me to stick with it. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Stacyp44

      surgery on thursday im so excited
      · 1 reply
      1. Candace76

        Congrats & good luck!😊

    • summerset

      How's everyone doing? I'm still fighting insurance company over plastics.
      Many changes at work are coming up. It's very stressful but there are also some opportunities involved, both in regards to personal development and promotion.
      · 1 reply
      1. XtinaDoesIt

        I didn't think insurance was even possible for plastics? I figured it would all be out of pocket?

    • Butterflyeffect

      Hi everyone, I finally reached Onederland, yay!! Feels great and I have no regrets. Still a way to go but so much closer now. Thanks for all the support and tips along the way. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • MARSHAHUNTER

      Hi Everyone, I’m Marsha i was sleeve on July 8th.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • alysia.rush

      UPDATE: 
      I was down to lowest weight of 117, kept around 123 for couple years, but recently due to covid gained back. got back up to 146, been trying to bounce back some and right now am at 140. Goal 117-120 ish.
      Experimenting with Macros:
      Keto- 900 calories
      Fat 75%, Net carbs 5%, Protein 20%.
      7/17/21: Day one: lightheaded, tired, randown, headache, not really that hungery, but thinking of food consistently, also but out alcohol and sugar, blah.
       
      · 2 replies
      1. Candace76

        Wishing you luck to get back where you want to be!😊

      2. alysia.rush

        Thank you!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×