So I just hit the halfway mark to goal - 51 lbs. down and 3 months out - and mostly I'm thrilled. But yesterday I spent the entire day feeling like a loser because "why did I let myself get that big to begin with????" "How could I have done this to myself???"

I'm trying really hard to focus on how wonderful this journey is, but my messed-up mind keeps wanting to obsess on the mistakes I made in the past that got me to 272 lbs.

I'd really love some advice/tips from those of you who've battled this mind-trap and won.

Tks.

Are you working with a psychologist at all? I'm working with one and I have to say it's the best decision I've made. What got us into this place is way more complex than getting sleeved. Just a suggestion.

3 hours ago, AllyJonesVSG said:

So I just hit the halfway mark to goal - 51 lbs. down and 3 months out - and mostly I'm thrilled. But yesterday I spent the entire day feeling like a loser because "why did I let myself get that big to begin with????" "How could I have done this to myself???"

I'm trying really hard to focus on how wonderful this journey is, but my messed-up mind keeps wanting to obsess on the mistakes I made in the past that got me to 272 lbs.

I'd really love some advice/tips from those of you who've battled this mind-trap and won.

Tks.

We are all a work in progress. Never stop growing.

Self talk is something to work on. The negative messages that we tell ourselves and have herd from others is damaging. Build yourself up don't beat yourself down. It's ok to let go of the former obese person. There is no shame in having a disease that you are treating. You are overcoming many things in this process. Forgive yourself. Love who you are never apologise for living your fantastic life.

Edited August 13, 20187 yr by skinnylife

3 hours ago, AllyJonesVSG said:

So I just hit the halfway mark to goal - 51 lbs. down and 3 months out - and mostly I'm thrilled. But yesterday I spent the entire day feeling like a loser because "why did I let myself get that big to begin with????" "How could I have done this to myself???"

I'm trying really hard to focus on how wonderful this journey is, but my messed-up mind keeps wanting to obsess on the mistakes I made in the past that got me to 272 lbs.

I'd really love some advice/tips from those of you who've battled this mind-trap and won.

Tks.

You are not alone. I've had these feelings also. Accompanied by the regret of not having this surgery sooner. For me to lose enough weight even with surgery, statistically, its very unlikely I'll ever be within a "normal healthy" BMI. If only I had done it 50-60lbs sooner...

All kinds of regrets and feelings, but I put them aside, because we did make this decision. We are putting in the work now. We can't dwell on the past. We have to strive for the future.

Congrats about your 51lbs! That is great!

@ AllyJones VSG, turn that around. Say Although ONCE I WAS that big, I turned it around. I made the right change, hey I am a ,pretty smart individual. 9h I am NEVER going to slide back there again, this a NEW DAY,and now I am a NEW Ally, I can do this after all. Mentally pat yourself on your back, give yourself a kiss, what ever makes YOU feel better and keep going forward. You proved to yourself you're NOT a LOSER! In the grand scheme of things that's pretty cool! Buck up Buckaroo , ride that pony? to the finish line!

On 8/13/2018 at 12:29 PM, Cynisca said:

Are you working with a psychologist at all? I'm working with one and I have to say it's the best decision I've made. What got us into this place is way more complex than getting sleeved. Just a suggestion.

I was but you're right. I should again. Thanks!

On 8/13/2018 at 2:24 PM, skinnylife said:

We are all a work in progress. Never stop growing.

Self talk is something to work on. The negative messages that we tell ourselves and have herd from others is damaging. Build yourself up don't beat yourself down. It's ok to let go of the former obese person. There is no shame in having a disease that you are treating. You are overcoming many things in this process. Forgive yourself. Love who you are never apologise for living your fantastic life.

Thanks. That's very good advice, in all areas.

On 8/13/2018 at 3:09 PM, AshAsh1 said:

All kinds of regrets and feelings, but I put them aside, because we did make this decision. We are putting in the work now. We can't dwell on the past. We have to strive for the future.

Very wise. I need to remember this. Thanks!

On 8/14/2018 at 11:35 AM, Frustr8 said:

Mentally pat yourself on your back, give yourself a kiss, what ever makes YOU feel better and keep going forward. You proved to yourself you're NOT a LOSER! In the grand scheme of things that's pretty cool! Buck up Buckaroo , ride that pony? to the finish line!

You're right!! Thanks!!

I had my sad moment just like that the day after the surgery. It came out of no where too! I thought I was over that harsh self blame. I felt so profoundly sad and I would try to reason with myself, tell myself it was just the medications, the pain, hormones anything but what it really was--feeling bad and sad about what I let happen to myself. I watched it, lived with it, suffered it, and I didn't fix it until it was nearly too late. I couldn't do it alone and never could all the 43 years of my life. I was shy of doctors 'cause it seemed like every time I saw one for anything at all I would get that serious stare and a reminder that I was fat, very fat and "I" should do something about it. I wish just once a doctor would have said, "Let me help you!" But, I needed to advocate more strongly for myself and I never did because I was so ashamed and so lost in myself about eating. "YOU SAVED YOURSELF!" How wonderful that is! You, all on your own, decided you wanted to live and be pain free, active, excited about waking up, working, reaching out to new people and making new friends and letting go, once and for all, to your suffering and self loathing. You just need to take that one last little step where you forgive yourself and move on. Maybe you do need to seek the help of a psychologist or maybe you can wake up and see things a little different, but one way or the other, you should not suffer mentally over it for any length of time, any longer. Support groups can be very useful here too. Chin up!

I think we all have a moment of "Dang, I'm never going to be the same! Sure that is true, but still inside YOU ARE STILL YOU, we need,you,Your Youness makes the world better for you just being you. Sure you or your insurances paid your money, made your choices, now tug up your Big boy or girl undies, plaster a big smile? upon your face and get on with life. Life is worth living, doesn't come with instructions unless it is a book you personally find holy, but you'll get through every challenge and keep moving. No one wants to stand still and risk someone else having to,dust them, being a statue isn't half as much fun as being,a people. Wave as you go by, we all are travelers on that road.

3 hours ago, BurBur said:

"YOU SAVED YOURSELF!" How wonderful that is! You, all on your own, decided you wanted to live and be pain free, active, excited about waking up, working, reaching out to new people and making new friends and letting go, once and for all, to your suffering and self loathing.

You are so wise and so kind to reach out to me when your own struggle has been so much harder. Thank you. I'm putting a card on the wall next to my computer that says "I SAVED MYSELF!!" so I can remember.

xoxo

And Ally I too shall post such a card because it is so true. We have to Each be the one who saves Us. In the dark of night, in stormy times, we have to believe in ourselves, and step bravely,into the future. Love and Sunny Days Ahead, ya gotta believe it!

You are both so sweet! It's the phrase I tell myself anytime I feel a little case of the "ickys" coming on. And darlin', my struggle is no harder than yours or anyone else. It's just different and I have a super great attitude about it all (most of the time ). It only gets better e'ery day.

No reason to feel that way! You are doing amazing, and just keep remembering that. Personally, I got so heavy because I love food so much. Food made me extremely happy, but it was only when I was eating. Then, when I woke up in the morning, I felt disgusting and hated myself. I hated always thinking about food and how happy it made me. I am scared I am going to go back to my old ways, but I hope I can fight through and this sleeve will keep reminding me to stick with it. Good luck!