Does this sound condescending to anyone else? Maybe it just irks me so much because of my own situation. I’ve got a few people tripping over themselves to let me know how proud they are of me for having the surgery... mostly family members.

I am pretty open about having had surgery- so I know that opens me up to this sort of stuff... and comments like “before long that dress will be like a tent on you!” ??

But what really grinds my gears about this “proud” comment? I completed my Masters degree this year also and these same people barely said a peep about it. I’m sorry, but in my mind getting an advanced degree is an accomplishment... having weight loss surgery to improve my health is just a smart medical choice. Obviously it’s something I’m working hard at... so yeah, it is an accomplishment, but I just feel that the “I’m so proud of you” comments are really, “I’m so proud that you’re going to be thin and attractive.” It just really kind of highlights how much importance some place on physical appearance and a number on a scale above all else.

I am not trying to diminish our struggles or experience with weight-loss surgery. I know we all fought for this and worked for this, but I’m pretty sure most of the ones telling me “I’m so proud of you” are probably the same ones who will think I took the easy way out and didn’t work hard enough to lose the weight. I was working plenty hard at this BEFORE surgery. I got to the point where at 340lbs I could actually do a push up, plank for 2 minutes, and make it through a 45 minute spin class and not die.

I have a family reunion in a few weeks and am already prepared to clap back when someone tries to give me their opinion about my body and my decision. So yeah- this is my contribution to the rants section. ??

Another cringe worthy,one
"Oh he was too good for here" So the earth is stocked with maladjusted, emotionally disjointed beings. Never seemed that way to me before
"Oh,you'll forget soon" That was a person I loved why should i be ordered to forget them?
He or She was only a cousin,Aunt, Uncle. Hmm only mourn First Degree Relatives?

I get this all the time, but I'm super proud of myself too for doing such a great job at getting healthy. This does not bother me because these people all care about me and are genuinely proud that I'm getting healthy! Go me!

Say "Yes I'm pretty proud of ME!" Then Try to change the subject.

I’d take it. It’s someone being kind in a way that they know. Your appearance is a tangible thing. It’s front and center. Your degree is not. Take kindness when it’s presented. There isn’t enough of it in the world. Don’t bristle because it’’s not the exact kindness YOU want.

Listening to everyone I agree and kept thinking how badly we want to WIN this weight loss. But It makes me think we will always be judged by our outside. Thin or fat so we were judged before and we will be judged after WLS. How many time before surgery would someone tell you You are so pretty and is so intelligent and a delight to be around but if you could get your weight under control you would be amazing I heard that too many times myself and then the other side of it a lot of my very thin friends you’re so beautiful and you’re such great shape you know it’s too bad that you keep getting missed on those promotions at work. People. What can we do ? Right. But having 2 masters and weight loss surgery and to be successful at all of this and home and family makes you a roll model for all women regardless of age and body type. Thank you for sharing with us. :)

YEP YEP YEP. News flash everyone: I have always been smart, kind, hard-working, hilarious, and even, yes this is hard to believe, attractive. This is about my joints and my health and managing an addiction. But fuck, I’m glad to know that you all thought I was so hopeless before this.... (grad degree, college professor, mother of two, homeowner, award winning writer—but FAT???? Pearl clutching.)

And guess what, just like my friend,above,I Am the,BEST DANGED ME That it Possible. If you don't find that,enough, your problem, not,mind.?

On 08/11/2018 at 12:29, heyprofessor said:

YEP YEP YEP. News flash everyone: I have always been smart, kind, hard-working, hilarious, and even, yes this is hard to believe, attractive. This is about my joints and my health and managing an addiction. But fuck, I’m glad to know that you all thought I was so hopeless before this.... (grad degree, college professor, mother of two, homeowner, award winning writer—but FAT???? Pearl clutching.)

Exactly this!!!!! A million times over this. As if being fat was about the worst thing in the world for a person to be and just negates every other accomplishment you’ve had.

Or not having kids. I’ve got a killer job and so does my husband- but because we’re fat and haven’t procreated, we suck at this life thing... poor, poor us.

I have almost two masters degrees and was successfully teaching . I had lost 120lbs with my band prior . I’m sitting at the hospital post my revision right now . No one said they were proud of me . No one needs to be proud of me . I also need to express I did this for my health. This was not about fatness or beauty but purely health. I’m ok with losing that poor health identity

Congrats on your degree hun! Focus on that. Share less of your journey to avoid those condescending remarks and ignore it because most of them genuinely do just mean it in a nice way anyway. Lastly, just keep doing all the amazing things that you do, dont look for validation from anyone about any of your successes.