Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

So, I've been pretty vocal at work about me having wls. Mainly because people have been asking questions about me losing weight or avoiding certain foods. I don't see a reason to lie our withhold the truth. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about it. I'm excited!

Anyways, this lady at work keeps commenting on the way I eat now & what I eat. I had skinny popcorn ther other day & she's like "Should you really be eating that?"

Then today she asked me how I could eat my lunch so quickly & that much food shouldn't be consumed so fast. I don't think I ate unreasonably fast & why are you paying attention to how fast I eat anyways???

All I know is if this lady doesn't get off my back, I'm going to snap. She's the only person I've had trouble with so far. If you were me, what would you do or say to this lady?

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say.... Are you considering weight loss surgery, too? I can hook you up with my surgeon:)

It's possible that she, herself, has had bypass in the past and she had a different experience than you're having. I know other sleevers who are horrified I ate 1000 calories a day at 3 weeks...even though I'm following my doctor's orders precisely. Because my doctor's orders conflicts with theirs....i'm wrong and there's no winning. LOL:)

I think you should investigate why she's so interested.

I'd ask her if she's had bypass herself.

When she says...Should you be eating that? Ask...her if she's a secret bariatric surgeon or bariatric nutritionist? Because surely her expertise must be coming from some hidden formal education.

She'll undoubtedly counter.....Well, I'm just concerned that you're going to hurt yourself and blah blah blah...

To which you should respond.....Thank you for your concern, but what, exactly, gives you the right to address my medical issues? I don't recall soliciting your input.

She'll blather on about trying to help.

Say....I don't experience your comments that way. I experience them as criticism and harassment. Kindly stop.

And then change the subject and try to end on a positive note. Ending on a more positive note is important. You do have to work with her...and she might just be too dumb to realize she has no business commenting. For all you know, she lives with someone who nitpicks everything she eats. Try to give her that benefit of the doubt and let it go.

Should do the trick.

Edited by Creekimp13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve it. The next time she makes a comment, get uncomfortably close to her, look her right in the eyes & quietly tell her, "With all due respect, you aren't helping." Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a work environment so make sure you have a measured response. If she continues to make comments that make you feel uncomfortable then simply tell her that you appreciate the concern but you're handling things fine on your own. If she pushes further then flat out tell her that you would like her to stop commenting on the subject. If it goes any further then take it to HR. That way you've done your part and you can go to HR with a legitimate complaint. Also never hurts to have a witness around if she's making these comments in front of others.

I would want to snap as well but when these things happen it's often you who end up being the one sitting across from HR. Speaking from years of experience being a supervisor. It's one thing to be vocal about having WLS and having to expect some people to voice their opinion, which IMO is fine even if they don't agree with it. It's the people that continue to go on and on and on and on about it that become the problem and don't know when to stop.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I completely understand .....I've had a lady at work go on and on for months it's funny she never said anything about it prior to me having the surgery but afterwards all I heard was "you can die" " you can die" " you can die" well, I'm not dead, I'm very healthy now and I'm doing great. I stay away and avoid her at all cost....

Sent from my LGL84VL using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would just say, thank you for your concern, but I got this....and smile....


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The reality is that we as humans want to try and drag everyone onto our level, it is the tall poppy syndrome, if you rise up for any reason people will try to cut you down. We do it to sports heroes, we do it to celebrities we do it to our friends who work for or are presented with promotions, even if it is only in jest (every joke has a seed of truth to it).

I would just continue to rise above her attitude towards you, use it as another form of fuel for this journey, show her that you can and you will better yourself.

When it boils down to it im sure it comes down to she is insecure and needs to project that towards someone else, unfortunately that person right now is you. Along this journey you will find haters and they may come from the most unexpected places but just rise above, be better than they are and show the world what you can truly be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×