Hello, I'm Thom, first post here.

I'm not usually one to share, but I need some advice here.

I had the VSG on 12/1, and everything had been going well till today. So let me give a little back story. I broke my back two years ago, had several spinal surgeries including a 3 level fusion with hardware. I gained 70 lbs while hurt. I'm not able to be very active, so I chose to have the sleeve to loose weight. I went from $115k+ a year to the state max on workers comp, which put a big strain on us financially. In October, comp cut my checks till I have a hearing in front of the industrial commission to determine my life long compensation amount. So we've been living on her income alone.

Today, when im 6 days post op, she wants to call me names because I couldn't cook the kids supper. The smell of food makes me nauseous after surgery. Then she tells me I'm a bum, because of this surgery, and has been treating me like ****.

I really don't know how to deal with this right now. I've never been emotional in my life, but this surgery has affected me some how. What should I do?

The irony of this post is that I have repeatedly, over and over again, seen you personally insult people.
It may be that you reserve that behavior for strangers and behave differently with people you know IRL.

It's not that odd that someone has love and sensitivity towards people that has their heart.. It seems obvious that anyone would behave differently. I'm not sure what your point is bringing that up. This post is about someone in an emotionally abusive relationship. Are you insinuating that your shocked he doesn't go round insulting his spouse because he may say some harsh things to people online ? I hope that isn't what you are saying.

10 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

I'm very real. Your shallow and gross

This is ad hominem attack directed toward ME instead of the topic

@Alex Brecher

Edited December 10, 20178 yr by Apple203

11 hours ago, JohnnyCakes said:

i guess you nodded off during that whole “in sickness and in health” part of the ceremony. i feel so bad for your husband.

@Alex Brecher another personal attack for expressing a different opinion

Edited December 10, 20178 yr by Apple203

10 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

You sound really uneducated and in some kind of world were no one else is.

@Alex Brecher ...and MORE personal insults...

Edited December 10, 20178 yr by Apple203

50 minutes ago, Apple203 said:

@Alex Brecher another personal attack for expressing a different opinion

1 - seriously? you’re a grown woman tattle-telling on people?

2 - nothing i said was a personal insult to you. you explained how you treat your husband, and it’s my objective right to say that i feel sorry for him. why would you take offense to that if you think how you treat him is just fine?

3 - if anyone is breaking forum rules, it’s you. a guy starts a thread because his wife is essentially emotionally abusing him during his recovery, and you start defending her and telling him he deserves it? again, just wow....

[mention=1125]Alex Brecher[/mention] ...and MORE personal insults...

You do sound uneducated.how is that a personal attack. You are sat here blaming a victim of domestic abuse. It's disgusting.

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A man comes here to share he is in an abusive situation and your advice is to blame him for her abusing him. It's not nice at all . Would you act the same if it was a woman who is coming to share emotional abuse be honest apple?, Or did you not know men can be abused ?

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This is ad hominem attack directed toward ME instead of the topic
[mention=1125]Alex Brecher[/mention]

You don't me to get real what was that ?

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[mention=1125]Alex Brecher[/mention] another personal attack for expressing a different opinion

Him saying he feels bad for your husband is an attack ? Is he not allowed to feel bad for someone .. ?

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Ugh I came here to read posts about wls not insults and immature name calling. To the original poster.. best of luck to you. I hope your wife comes around and u two can work out your issues. Merry Christmas people

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2 hours ago, JohnnyCakes said:

3 - if anyone is breaking forum rules, it’s you. a guy starts a thread because his wife is essentially emotionally abusing him during his recovery, and you start defending her and telling him he deserves it? again, just wow....

straw man

ˌstrô ˈman/

noun

1. 1.

   an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument.

1 hour ago, dreamingsmall said:

You do sound uneducated.how is that a personal attack. You are sat here blaming a victim of domestic abuse. It's disgusting.

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ad hominem followed by straw man

ˌstrô ˈman/

noun

1. 1.

   an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument.

1 hour ago, dreamingsmall said:

A man comes here to share he is in an abusive situation and your advice is to blame him for her abusing him. It's not nice at all . Would you act the same if it was a woman who is coming to share emotional abuse be honest apple?, Or did you not know men can be abused ?

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straw man

ˌstrô ˈman/

noun

1. 1.

   an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument.

straw man ˌstrô ˈman/ noun

1. 1. an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument.

Is that a yes or a no ?

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straw man ˌstrô ˈman/ noun

1. 1. an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument.

I'm not a man. I'm a woman. Misgendering is not necessary to prove your point.

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Guys all I can say is we need to support the op he sounds like he is in a bad place right now

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Hello, I'm Thom, first post here.

I'm not usually one to share, but I need some advice here.
I had the VSG on 12/1, and everything had been going well till today. So let me give a little back story. I broke my back two years ago, had several spinal surgeries including a 3 level fusion with hardware. I gained 70 lbs while hurt. I'm not able to be very active, so I chose to have the sleeve to loose weight. I went from $115k+ a year to the state max on workers comp, which put a big strain on us financially. In October, comp cut my checks till I have a hearing in front of the industrial commission to determine my life long compensation amount. So we've been living on her income alone.
Today, when im 6 days post op, she wants to call me names because I couldn't cook the kids supper. The smell of food makes me nauseous after surgery. Then she tells me I'm a bum, because of this surgery, and has been treating me like ****.
I really don't know how to deal with this right now. I've never been emotional in my life, but this surgery has affected me some how. What should I do?

It appears that it's not just the surgery that's in play here. I think she's tired stressed and a few other things. But no excuses for her. Often people hurt the ones that love them because they can get away with it. Stay calm, this time is best used to heal and think. Don't react immediately no good comes from that.
And sorry you're going through this