Vet Search

[ausmith 374]

Wow I can’t believe the lack of Vet topics we have in this part of the forum. My Husband and I will be 4years VSG next weekend. When I first started researching VSG for us this was my bible. The amount of Vets that had so much good advice and were willing to share it freely. I know we all get on with our lives but I also know that we each have our own struggles and concerns.

Let’s try to be there for each other and make sure those that do pop in or comeback know that we want to help and that we appreciate them sharing their experiences.

[ssflbelle 829]

I completely forgot about this forum until I saw your posting. I was never allowed to post before. Now that I am 21 months post op I qualify as a Veteran. But hardly any Veterans are left here to chat with. Good to see you came back. Maybe others will too.

[James Marusek 5,244]

I think what has happened that cause the loss of many veterans is conflicts on the board. There are many opinionated individuals in this world. Many of them are newbies and many times they offer unsound advice. When a veteran chides in and tries to correct the advise, they are verbally assaulted. So it is a little like a free for all.

Just remember as a veteran that one important quality to have is a thick skin.

[ssflbelle 829]

Yes James I think you are right on as to what happened and needing a thick skin. I first joined in 2015 when I was researching about the sleeve and waiting insurance approval. Lots of great veteran advise was given to me along the way. However the boards have certain changed since that time and I am finding myself in here less often because of it. Good to see you are still around and doing so well 4 years later. I am still trying to get to my goal and waiting for approval for the second Excess skin removal surgery even though I am not at goal yet.

[Introversion 1,876]

Since this forum regards those with 1+ years of experience as 'vets,' I am considered one since I am 2.5 years out.

Nonetheless, I am leery about posting in this forum because many people are not truly seeking advice. Rather, they are fishing for validation of their poor decisions. Examples include:

1. Snacking on nutritionally bereft junk before they hit goal (chips, Cookies, popcorn)
2. Rigid thought processes (e.g., dichotomous thinking, "always" or "never ever again")
3. Getting "back on track" after a massive regain without addressing the root cause. You can lose a 50-lb regain, but you'll regain it all plus more once the next crisis hits since you never addressed your emotional overeating tendencies. Losing a regain without tackling the root cause is like taking pain pills to treat a brain tumor: both tactics help the symptoms and ignore the cause.

So, to avoid being shouted down by those who only want feedback that fits neatly into their worldviews, I post in other forums.

Edited October 14, 2017 by Introversion

[summerset 5,265]

A lot of people maybe also left because they simply go on with life.

I stopped posting on boards about WLS long ago and started again when I had my revision. Now I notice again that I'm not really interested anymore in posting a lot. One of the reasons is that I recently started another education so I have other things on my mind but I also notice that I don't have anything constructive to say about a lot of things.

I can understand the need to make snarky comments about certain things (as so many of the vets that left did) - but I don't do it. It's a very destructive thing to do so I rather hold my virtual tongue.

With time it's tiring to read about the same stuff and I feel that what I have to say about certain things is not what people want to hear.

[shedo82773 1,236]

17 hours ago, ausmith said:

Wow I can’t believe the lack of Vet topics we have in this part of the forum. My Husband and I will be 4years VSG next weekend. When I first started researching VSG for us this was my bible. The amount of Vets that had so much good advice and were willing to share it freely. I know we all get on with our lives but I also know that we each have our own struggles and concerns.

Let’s try to be there for each other and make sure those that do pop in or comeback know that we want to help and that we appreciate them sharing their experiences.

Hi, I am also over 4 years out. The majority of us vets have moved on, so to speak. Right after I came back to this site, something had happened and there were some bad feelings and then the next thing I knew poof they were gone. Keep coming on and maybe we can get some of the old ones to come back.

[summerset 5,265]

10 hours ago, shedo82773 said:

Keep coming on and maybe we can get some of the old ones to come back.

Hopefully not. The last thing this site needs are local bariatric heroes with a know-it-all-attitude that are all about people needing to "wear their big girl panties" when dealing out their so-called "tough love" and behave like crybabies themselves when someone dares to talk back in the same manner.

However, if you're really missing them quite a few can be found at Obesity Help.

[shedo82773 1,236]

I didn't say I missed them..I really didn't have much to do with them..But I did catch some of the RIF RAT stuff going on. Yes, they did strike out at some and "The big girl pantie thing was going on. They were kind of mean from what I saw. I really don't buy into the "TOUGH LOVE STUFF". You don't have to be mean to others just to make a point!!

[FLLyssa 27]

Since this forum regards those with 1+ years of experience as 'vets,' I am considered one since I am 2.5 years out.
Nonetheless, I am leery about posting in this forum because many people are not truly seeking advice. Rather, they are fishing for validation of their poor decisions. Examples include:

1. Snacking on nutritionally bereft junk before they hit goal (chips, Cookies, popcorn)
2. Rigid thought processes (e.g., dichotomous thinking, "always" or "never ever again")
3. Getting "back on track" after a massive regain without addressing the root cause. You can lose a 50-lb regain, but you'll regain it all plus more once the next crisis hits since you never addressed your emotional overeating tendencies. Losing a regain without tackling the root cause is like taking pain pills to treat a brain tumor: both tactics help the symptoms and ignore the cause.

So, to avoid being shouted down by those who only want feedback that fits neatly into their worldviews, I post in other forums.

Curious what other forums you use, I am almost 3 years out and feel the same.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

[FLLyssa 27]

A lot of people maybe also left because they simply go on with life.
I stopped posting on boards about WLS long ago and started again when I had my revision. Now I notice again that I'm not really interested anymore in posting a lot. One of the reasons is that I recently started another education so I have other things on my mind but I also notice that I don't have anything constructive to say about a lot of things.
I can understand the need to make snarky comments about certain things (as so many of the vets that left did) - but I don't do it. It's a very destructive thing to do so I rather hold my virtual tongue.
With time it's tiring to read about the same stuff and I feel that what I have to say about certain things is not what people want to hear.

I'd like to know about your revision, what did you have done? Did it help?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

[mi75 1,241]

I agree with James on this. There has been a mass exodus of many of the vets that were here when I started my journey. I agree there are a lot of newbies in all of the forums attempting to give advice. While i'm glad they are all here, truly i'm glad they have found this site, it's a little tough to get advice on my regain by somebody who admittedly hasn't even had their surgery yet.

I have been very selective about which forums I post in and read from now, because there is a lot of information that doesn't apply to me.

[BigViffer 3,545]

Most of us vets that were fairly prolific in the past just aren't wanted by the new members the past year and a half. When putting out fact, not feelings, brands you as a bully or insensitive, the incentive to contribute diminishes. More and more it appears as though people are more concerned with feelings and popularity rather than actually living better.

I think the straw that broke the back was the marshmallow peeps conversation. There are very few topics that I bother commenting in anymore. People are just not worth the time to type out the information.

Oh, and the vets that are gone aren't coming back even if they wanted to. They were banned. Some with good reason though.

[ausmith 374]

Thanks for your comments I for one do miss the opportunity to speak with someone about where I’m at and how others coped with it or are coping with it. I know for a fact when I went to have my operation I went in with a wealth of knowledge that I got from this site. I don’t always agree with everything that was said but if I didn’t, I moved onto another thread. One that I did agree with or that gave me answers or something to think about.
Loosing the Long term Vets will never be a great thing.

[bellabloom 2,469]

Hey, I’m a vet about um 4 years? I guess 4 in December. I lose track. I check in on these boards now and then.

I don’t spend much time on here for a couple reasons.. one being that I’ve just moved on with my life and weight really isn’t a big factor for me anymore.

The other is that for some reason in my generation of 2014-2015 vets there were some serious assholes. Mean, snarky, judgmental, all or nothing, never eat again etc jerks.

But I do like to check in now and then and help people out. I’m always up for a pm and I will get back eventually! [emoji6]