It has been a really long day, followed by a dinner out with multiple margaritas, so I am ready post my first LBT Rants and Raves post.

I won't follow the herd anymore. Ever. I stopped doing that years ago when I realized that I made every decision based upon how I could make the most people happy (or prevent conflict). That's simply not healthy. And it takes all the fun out of life.

I hate absolutes. Absolutely hate them. I can't stand to lump a group of people together for any reason. All people at LBT are not sweet and perfect. All people at OH are not cheerleaders and ***** supporters. All Muslims are not extreme radicals. Not all of us Texas women are Southern Belles (ok so that one is debatable). All women are not subservient (ok I know you ladies agree with that one). We are all, quite simply, just people.

I don't want to be told I have to do something because it is the Christian thing to do. Are you my priest? My rabbi? My high priestess? Where do people get off on judging other people????? I don't freakin' get it. Each of us have own spirituality or lack of it. Each of us have our own moral core - although some are harder to identify than others. Don't attack me because I don't agree with you - hire a yes-man for that job - it doesn't pay enough for me to take it. And don't push your personal belief system off on me.

I like most people. Really I do. And I get along with most people. Some people just get to me, and I don't have to like them. There is no rule about that. There is only one person on my bad list at the moment, and if I ever get a personal apology that person will come off the list. You and I don't have to like the same people or have the same ideas to be friends. I prefer friends who are different from me. If I wanted everyone to be like me - well then I would become a hermit(ess) and just have ME for companionship.

I love our differences. I love the passion in which so many of us debate what we believe in. I just hate the herd mentality that says we all have to believe the same thing, or like the same people, or hate the same people....because ya know what? We don't. We are different. Our differences make us unique and teach us more about life than any book will.

And one more thing. I rarely drink and I really love Margaritas! :whoo:

No, you are attempting to read between the lines of something I wrote. There is no reason to do that and what you are coming up with is quite inaccurate. Instead of reading between the lines it would be much better to read the actual lines.

One thing I am not is passive aggressive. I'm about as blunt as they come and my biggest problem in life is that I bottom line everything.

Well..I am responding to two of you back and forth. I will not try and straighten it out...I wasnt saying you were passive aggressive.I was saying the pack mentality comment was...sheesh..I dont even care that much...

Here is the honesty you wanted...Ms prutte..or whatever I am done with..I dont know her and am not going to go round with her on her doublespeak..huge waste of energy.

I like OH and have good friends there. I am glad you are happy on LBT good for you. There is no use arguing which one is better to who..that would be like arguing because my favorite color is yellow and yours is blue.

Sandy is not OH to me. She is a member and the fact that I dont bash her doesnt make me a groupie. She is a member whose posts I dont even see that often because she responds to newbies and I am not new.

There are negative sides to all internet forums..including this one. I see that too. First and foremost I am a banded individual and take away from OH what I can and leave the rest. It was hugely beneficial for the entire forum (in my opinion) when Wendell left..and many felt that way, not just "friends" of Sandy (whoever they all may be) I wouldnt know all of Sandy's friends as it doesnt interest me in the slightest..It would be like checking my neighboors phone bill to see who he talks to..who cares????

I dont like how Dee was treated on a thread that I started to out her as a troll. (sound familiar Michelle) I tried to reason with her and did not attack her...but because of her own lies and threats others are scared of her as they have a right to be. I believe she was banned from LBT too..so thats good..she needs to be off the internet..even though she wont stay off.

I am here because I was asked to read this thread. I defended myself against Wendell's negative remarks (which if that is the worst that is ever said about me I can live with it).

There is some hypocrisy here...in all honesty...not one of you has said anything negative about Wendell and its all about Sandy. The funny thing is ..I dont care if you bash Sandy...I dont even know her. You have all made an olympic sport out of it. Wendell has made his bed on other forums and can lie in it...no need to be harsh with the rest of us that dont call him friend. His name never even comes up because no one cares where he went....and why waste negative comments on someone whose moved on?....

I have feeling that you and I would have had similiar thinking in other areas of life...I would have liked to have gotten to know you better. Susan has told me what a wonderful friend to her you were. But alas..my whole person is judged by what team I am on...which I am not even sure what team that would be...I guess the pro-OH-not-a-Sandy-groupie-dont-care-what-Wendell-is-doing-as-long-as-he-leaves-my-name-out-of-it-team.

Well..I am responding to two of you back and forth. I will not try and straighten it out...I wasnt saying you were passive aggressive.I was saying the pack mentality comment was...sheesh..I dont even care that much...

Fair enough, I may have misunderstood. I thought it was directed at me.

I like OH and have good friends there. I am glad you are happy on LBT good for you. There is no use arguing which one is better to who..that would be like arguing because my favorite color is yellow and yours is blue.

I suppose it does look like I am arguing about which is better, LBT or OH. And you are right, it is a preference. I point out the issues because that seems to be the place where newbies start out before they find there are many band forums. If they are chased away, that isn't right. My real intent was to point out how others see OH and the pack mentality. It's not good for newbies and they really are the people that count the most on a forum IMHO. Or perhaps I should say they have different or "more" needs than an old timer type person. They are the LAST people that should be chased away.

Sandy is not OH to me. She is a member and the fact that I dont bash her doesnt make me a groupie. She is a member whose posts I dont even see that often because she responds to newbies and I am not new.

I don't believe anyone has claimed you are a cheerleader, a groupie, etc. To be really honest I PMed Susan earlier tonight when I read your first post here and point blank asked her if you were one of "them" :Banane10: or not. I honestly didn't know. As I have explained earlier, I didn't create the list of cheerleaders, I merely coined the term. I never did have strong opinions about who behaved in that manner. I knew a few of them but didn't know if I agreed with the entire list when I saw it. I really didn't spend enough time over on OH to know one way or another. I just know I was chased away as a newbie so of course I am going to have strong feelings about a few folks.

I have to think that some opinions have changed about Sandy since the truth came out. The only claims I have made are things that can be found on line. The stuff I know about her personal life I never posted. There are things I found in my research on line that had absolutely nothing in the world to do with her posting, her false claims, etc. Even I have my limits. :Banane10: I would never post those things, they *are* personal. But her false claims can be easily demonstrated via public records.

Those that would continue to defend her knowing what they do now... you have to admit, that would make people look at them with a raised eyebrow. I don't know if you are one or not. I really don't spend much time on OH. At best 5 minutes daily but I usually don't go there at all.

There is some hypocrisy here...in all honesty...not one of you has said anything negative about Wendell and its all about Sandy. The funny thing is ..I dont care if you bash Sandy...I dont even know her. You have all made an olympic sport out of it. Wendell has made his bed on other forums and can lie in it...no need to be harsh with the rest of us that dont call him friend. His name never even comes up because no one cares where he went....and why waste negative comments on someone whose moved on?....

I don't personally complain about Wendell because I have nothing to complain about. He's always treated me well, his posts here are informative to newbies, he has been good to me, and he has been there when I was ready to pull my hair out due to band issues. What would I complain about? He's said some things that I tend to disagree with regarding the band and I posted explaining that I disagreed with him and why. But honestly, I can only think of one time and I don't even recall what the issue was. It was something quite minor as I recall.

When issues here, on this very thread, were getting a little out of control on all sides I posted and suggested that people stop. I'm not a moderator here, my suggestions mean nothing. It was a request on my part not to let this thread turn into a bitter battle between people. I much prefer a place where we can finally air out differences. That post wasn't directed at any one person and I don't think it came off that way. I directed it to everyone, including Wendell. So your claim doesn't really work.

There is no hypocrisy, I like Wendell so why would I say anything negative about him? I am not aware of any laws he has broken, he isn't claiming to be a licensed nurse when he isn't... if he was doing that I'd be writing the same things about him as I do Sandy. I'm not being harsh with any of you. Not in the least. I don't give a rat's back side who anyone's friends are. But those who continue to defend her in light of the information that is public record... that's an issue. That goes to credibility. And no, I'm not saying you are defending her. I know, you are reading between the lines but there is no need. I write what I mean. I may not do it well, but I still write what I mean.

Sandy has offended a lot of people in a variety of ways. She has made huge claims that have been proven to be absolute lies. People don't like her, many people on LBT are here because of Sandy. They couldn't stand it on OH.

I have feeling that you and I would have had similiar thinking in other areas of life...I would have liked to have gotten to know you better. Susan has told me what a wonderful friend to her you were. But alas..my whole person is judged by what team I am on...which I am not even sure what team that would be...I guess the pro-OH-not-a-Sandy-groupie-dont-care-what-Wendell-is-doing-as-long-as-he-leaves-my-name-out-of-it-team.

I tend to agree that there are probably many ways of thinking that you and I are similar. Chelle may cringe at this but you know, I think if there was no such place as OH or LBT I might like Chelle in real time. I don't agree with her always but I don't agree with my best friend all the time either. I do think there is that passive aggressive thing going sometimes with her posts but I have issues with my posts too, we all do. I offer my opinion when it isn't always asked for.

I'm just glad we finally have a place to air our differences, express our issues, and hopefully move on.

Susan:

I finally figured out how to read this thread in its entirety. (not familiar with LBT) I was trying to read with an open mind and understand what you wanted me to see. I think your last response ....the one that I am quoting here..is the bottom line, am I correct?

Yes, there is another thread on R&R that deals with Sandy's unethical behavior as well.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f80/why-do-i-do-myself-42361/

I don't think anyone in any of these discussions would want someone to receive bad information from an unqualified person.

I have feeling that you and I would have had similiar thinking in other areas of life...I would have liked to have gotten to know you better. Susan has told me what a wonderful friend to her you were. But alas..my whole person is judged by what team I am on...which I am not even sure what team that would be...I guess the pro-OH-not-a-Sandy-groupie-dont-care-what-Wendell-is-doing-as-long-as-he-leaves-my-name-out-of-it-team.

You can't be on THAT team - it won't fit on the T-Shirt! :Banane10:

I am on the likes-most-everybody-loves-good-debate-hates-mean-people team.

Oops, I did it again.... I threw humor into a debate situation. Somehow I don't think I will ever be able to stop doing that.:heh:

Originally Posted by Chelle B

Not sure what your point is.

I accept all friends requests and have 366 on my list.

Work-n-prgrss has 234.

Nancy B has 43.

DANG! I need to get some more friends!

After a few exchanges, begin to use a corruption of your opponent's name (from the article Wheetsin pasted earlier in this thread)

It is not msprutte.......

wrk-up-sndysass- or whatever your name is. It is mrspruett. (Difficult for some maybe)It is embarassing for you, I am sure. Being caught being in a lie on a public forum and all.As I said before YOUR NAME was never mentioned here before you began posting in this thread.

I would hope that people would follow the advise of their surgeon, and not follow anyone's advise on the internet, licensed, unlicensed, or layperson.

add to last post--oh, and the reason you don't know me is because I do not post at OH. I am a member there and sometimes read (or used to). This board is where I post and if you came around on a regular basis , you would already know that.

I would hope that people would follow the advise of their surgeon, and not follow anyone's advise on the internet, licensed, unlicensed, or layperson.

Sorry, I was trying to respond to Susan's post.

I would hope that people would follow the advise of their surgeon, and not follow anyone's advise on the internet, licensed, unlicensed, or layperson.

I would hope so too but you know there does seem to be a common problem with most surgeons. Look at the newbies on any banding forum. They don't know anything! By the time I had my own surgery I read until my head hurt, I researched, I asked questions, I did my work. I had a pretty good idea of what I needed to know in order to make the decision and I had some idea of what to expect after surgery.

The questions from the newbies still amaze me sometimes. They don't know if they have a post op diet, they don't know the difference between clears and fulls, they don't know the absolute basics. How many are shocked that they have no restriction before a fill?

I think it is a combination of information overload to patients and doctors not explaining anything. How many docs explain WHY the post op diet is so critical? People think it is a matter of swelling and as soon as they can eat food, they do. If swelling has gone down enough that solids go down, they believe they are good to go. They have no idea what it is that is healing.

If docs would take some time and explain about the reasons for the post op diet the chances are more folks would stick to it.

I spend a lot of time explaining the "whys" of things. Why is the post op diet critical, why is a fill that is too tight dangerous, etc. Why aren't the doctors explaining this? I've read too many people comment that they learned more about how the band works and why we do the things we do on the boards than they ever learned from their docs.

While I completely and totally agree with you about following your own surgeon's advice, I'm not really sure they are giving out the information that people need. People will spend months researching a car they are considering - but surgery... they leave it up to their doc to make the decisions.

I don't get it.

I would hope that people would follow the advise of their surgeon, and not follow anyone's advise on the internet, licensed, unlicensed, or layperson.

Sorry, I was trying to respond to Susan's post.

I don't think Susan is on this forum right now. Maybe she will see your advice later. I think a bunch of people have decided to abandon posting on here. Something about beating a dead horse or something like that....I guess I will join them:rolleyes:

I don't think Susan is on this forum right now. Maybe she will see your advice later. I think a bunch of people have decided to abandon posting on here. Something about beating a dead horse or something like that....I guess I will join them:rolleyes:

I don't care if she responds, I just was trying to put my post in the right spot.

I think it is a combination of information overload to patients and doctors not explaining anything. How many docs explain WHY the post op diet is so critical? People think it is a matter of swelling and as soon as they can eat food, they do. If swelling has gone down enough that solids go down, they believe they are good to go. They have no idea what it is that is healing.

If docs would take some time and explain about the reasons for the post op diet the chances are more folks would stick to it.

Shame on the docs that aren't explaining this. I see it every day on the various boards though. "I feel fine and can eat anything, and I'm only 1 week post-op". They never post before they eat, but then they'll come on and ask if they did any damage, after they ate the pizza!

How about those that claim they didn't know they weren't supposed to eat pizza but they are worried they did damage? If they didn't know they weren't supposed to eat pizza, why are they worried?

I would hope that people would follow the advise of their surgeon, and not follow anyone's advise on the internet, licensed, unlicensed, or layperson.

Sorry, I was trying to respond to Susan's post.

I would hope so too, but a lot don't, in part because there are pseudo experts like Sandy all to ready give out crap advice. I was and am very fortunate because my doc answers all of my emails straight away. In fact he called me twice during the week after my surgery to make sure that I was doing ok and to see if I had any problems or questions. I also have a NUT that I can email. I think a lot of questions are asked on forums that should be answered by the persons doc or NUT. I think new band patients should be encouraged to ask their doc all of this stuff. If patients raise the bar a little in terms of info they request from their docs it makes them better for the future patients too. When someone like Sandy takes the place of their doc and gives out info like "blended up meatloaf is a liquid" it crosses the line between support and providing bad nutrition/medical info. I saw so many people dissing Wendell on OH for "the sake of the newbies". Well it turns out there is someone on OH that the newbies should be advised about and it's not Wendell. Where are all those "newbie protectors" now?