Hello all. My husband had his band placed 18 months ago, and to date he’s lost 180 pounds (down from 600 pounds). One of the many changes that have happened has been the different way he now relates to food. When you eat half a stick of butter in one sitting, well, you’ve got problems…. He also tells me that he used to go to the drive through and order 2 or 3 full combo meals and scarf them all down before coming home for dinner.

Mike has now become a huge fan of cooking shows, especially Alton Brown. It’s pretty funny when he insists on giving me cooking tips. (One of the reasons my first husband left me was because I “was too good of a cook.”)

I don’t know what my current relationship to food is. I suppose I need to sit a while and ponder that before I have my band placed. I’m not a binger, I’m not a stuffer, I do use food as a reward, although I’m trying to change that to rewarding myself with other non-food treats. I do love really good food, and I love to feed my friends and family really good food too… and unfortunately, it shows. I’ve seen a couple of different therapists as part of diet and “non-diet” programs, and they were baffled because I don’t have any eating disorders, which seems to be unusual for someone with my BMI.

I would like to know how other people have noticed that their relationship changed with and to food.

Thanks in advance.

Nancy, I think that is a wonderful compliment! It means, like Leatha has often said, "I ain't no quitter!"

I sat alone crying and eating while another little girl sat cutting herself. I'll never understand why people have to be so lonely when there are others crying out for friendship. But there was food, inviting us in, comforting us, and stabbing us in the back at the same time.

Marie, I bet my snail is slower than your turtle.

I don't think so, Pat! I've been "poking" along for about two months now.

thats funny Harleynana! I wonder how fast my lady bug will be?? Maybe i will need to switch to a butterfly!

Greg I must say that you talk of our stories bringing tears to your eyes and here I sit with tears in mine when I read your last post it made me realize why I 've been on this sight evey single day since the first day I found it COMFORT AND FRIENDS THANK YOU ALL!!!

You snails and turtles have come along way and I think you both should be proud of that!!!! APPLAUD.... APPLAUD....

bumped this thread!!

Jammin & losing- what does that mean when you bump a thread? Iam still learning this site. thanks

It means that I went back to it and made it come into the new post again so others that are new to the sight could find it!

Oh I see now- thanks for teaching. And if you know how to get a photo posted I sure could use the help. I have no idea how to find out what the url?? is on a photo. Just not great w/computers. Thanks

I'llsucceed :

I'm not to good with computers myself. I do know there is a thread somewhere that tells how to post a picture. I will try to find it and bump it for you okay?

that would be great ! thank you very much.

Thank you all for sharing your stories about food. It helps to know that I am not alone. I didn't start gaining weight until I moved in with my husband in 1997. I was 175 then, and now....

I attribute it to the fact that I would eat more to feel as if I was getting my fair serving. He would eat so much more than me, and I had this feeling inside of me like he was going to eat it all up and now leave me any at all. So, I would eat even when I wasn't hungry so that I felt that I would have my share in the end. Even to this day, when I see him eating something I like...I worry if he will eat it all and there will not be any for me at all.

I’ve been thinking a lot about food lately, and how I interact with it. The more I read this board, the more I gain a better understanding. Of myself, of others, of my husband. Lisa, I was thinking about what you said about going to the grocery store, and how you hate it there. Not me, I love to go grocery shopping. Back at home we have an upscale market chain called Larry’s Market. Oh, man, I love shopping at Larry’s market, even if I’m just going in for basic stuff. A trip to Larry’s is like going to a bookstore or a small toy store; I get the same sort of relaxed feeling when I’m there. Wow, isn’t that interesting. Hmmm, I’ll have to think on that some more.

The feeling I get at grocery stores is one of … possibility, especially at Larry’s. “oh, I could make that for dinner” or “oooh, truffles” (no, not the chocolate, the mushrooms…) “I could make ciopino and invite people over!” (it’s a spicy Italian seafood stew)

I always have a candy in the house, or an open bar of chocolate or bag of M&Ms. I buy the medium sized bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms.. and it will last me about a month and a half or two. I have a can of Pringles I’ve had since December, unopened. It is all about the possibility. If I have these things near me, I don’t need to eat them. Talk about your comfort food.

Now ice cream on the other hand, well ice cream = love. This I learned also from my Dad. And a feeder boyfriend--he called it “ice cream therapy.” Whenever I was feeling especially depressed or down, he would take me out for ice cream. Hmmm. Oh yes, good ice cream is a drug of choice. I used it when I was in such pain from carpul tunnel, chocolate chocolate-chip ice cream… Ice cream never seems to stay in my freezer long. I just realize that I haven’t had any in a month, and that is saying quite a bit for me…

One of the things I am doing to get ready for the band is learning to chew-chew-chew every bite I eat. I realized that I was a gulper, hurry and eat fast. (Part of that is no doubt because if there was food on our plates after my dad would finish his, he would poach off everybody’s plates…. He didn’t do this all the time, but often enough that it caused action.) I’ve noticed that some of the food I regularly eat isn’t worth eating. It isn’t worth the time and effort it takes to chew it to smithereens.

And like Lisa, I’m a night eater if I don’t eat Breakfast. And lately I’ve gotten into the bad habit of only having coffee for breakfast.

I still don’t know how my relationship to food will change once I’ve had my band installed. I suppose all I can do is continue to look at my current relationship with it. Otherwise, how will I know how it changes, or to change the behaviors that have lead me to needing the band?