Well BP FAM , I'm back again with a rant. My husband and I were talking last night and he made comments in how he wished I never had this surgery. He stated that my butt has gone almost away and he felt all unneeded to do was tone up and lose my belly initially. Well, first of all, I don't know how you tone up 242 lbs with BMI 0f 39( which was my initial weight and BMI). So.... he proceeded to run his mouth about all the things I can't do like drink gallons of sweet tea, eat cake and Cookies, go to restaurants and eat appetizer , entree and dessert.. You know all of the healthy stuff that led me to be 242 lbs in the first place. Well, I was really hurt by his comments. My rebuttal was how much healthier I am , I am a lose size 10 as opposed to a tight size 16, I am no longer out of breath with walking 20 feet and I am able to exercise. I like how my body has changed and I told him I love my size. Well, he said "you don't have to be attracted to you, I do and you only needed to lose a little belly but now your butt has gone down tremendously " well needless to say I was pushed to my breaking point. I was like if you don't like what you see, go and find you a thick chic with a donkey's ass. I'm not even at goal yet so I'm gonna lose more and just ticked that he would say that to me which made me feel a lil insecure about my looks. Then I snapped out of it. I have posted pics on my other forums but I will put my last one here as well. Not tooting my own horn but I worked hard for these results . I had surgery in Dec 2016. I am just like dang I can't win for losing .i really thought I was doing good . My pics show one week after surgery on left, middle is 1 1/2 months post op and last pic on right was about 2 weeks ago.

2 minutes ago, Dknal2 said:

There are many issues in our relationship, you are correct. I never ever try to play victim and accept all responsibility for my part in how our marriage has gone down. I was broken when he met me due to my family situation and I was so desperate to be loved so I accepted a lot of crap that I shouldn't have and that hurt and despair from my mom just transferred later to being from my husband and I never sought help to deal with the first bad situation. So maybe it is my fault. But I am strong enough to acknowledge my weakness and brave enough to know when my season has passed. I feel that is has passed with him and the weight coming off was just a way of me shedding some of the past and when that happened, I started to feel empowered and wanted what I have longed for for such a long time. I know what I deserve and that's love and happiness and peace. My husband has issues of abandonment with his mother and father because he was partially raised by his grandmother for a big portion of his childhood while his mom n dad traveled country in military and he holds resentment towards his parents for that. So, in a strange way , he was broken as well. He didn't get that motherly love and I think that affected him majorly as well with how to love a woman. I just know we probably could have both used counseling. But we were young. It just got out of hand and became a very bad situation for myself.

I am broken, but I'm not shattered.

I agree you are strong, and I believe you are a becoming stronger as well. (I like your quote and I like to believe it describes me as well, "I am broken but strong".) I probably didn't take the time to write all my thoughts, so forgive me for not communicating more admiration for you than I did, that was my mistake. I admire your courage to face your issues and make changes. It is unfortunate when the people closest to us become obstacles to our success instead of resources.

26 minutes ago, mtatanna said:

First off I have to say u look damn good . And your husband isn't really doing his job because this surgery no matter how long u did u need that support from ever that u hold dear to u .U don't need negativity around because it sometimes get to u he is suppose to be up lifting u not makin u feel bad u know but u did this for u to make u happy and more health .

I agree... thank you so much for encouragement.

15 minutes ago, BigUtahMan said:

I agree you are strong, and I believe you are a becoming stronger as well. (I like your quote and I like to believe it describes me as well, "I am broken but strong".) I probably didn't take the time to write all my thoughts, so forgive me for not communicating more admiration for you than I did, that was my mistake. I admire your courage to face your issues and make changes. It is unfortunate when the people closest to us become obstacles to our success instead of resources.

Thank you and I respect your comments. You were not out of line , I appreciate you commenting.

I agree... thank you so much for encouragement.

No problem because I know exactly how u feel cause someone that I consider like a boyfriend was very negative the day I was having surgery and I had to cut him off because you can't tell me you love me but don't support me you know .

There are many issues in our relationship, you are correct. I never ever try to play victim and accept all responsibility for my part in how our marriage has gone down. I was broken when he met me due to my family situation and I was so desperate to be loved so I accepted a lot of crap that I shouldn't have and that hurt and despair from my mom just transferred later to being from my husband and I never sought help to deal with the first bad situation. So maybe it is my fault. But I am strong enough to acknowledge my weakness and brave enough to know when my season has passed. I feel that is has passed with him and the weight coming off was just a way of me shedding some of the past and when that happened, I started to feel empowered and wanted what I have longed for for such a long time. I know what I deserve and that's love and happiness and peace. My husband has issues of abandonment with his mother and father because he was partially raised by his grandmother for a big portion of his childhood while his mom n dad traveled country in military and he holds resentment towards his parents for that. So, in a strange way , he was broken as well. He didn't get that motherly love and I think that affected him majorly as well with how to love a woman. I just know we probably could have both used counseling. But we were young. It just got out of hand and became a very bad situation for myself.
I am broken, but I'm not shattered.

It is NOT your fault.

Girl keep on doing you. Men can be so catty for a lack of a better word. You look great. I wish I was there as far as weight. I'm sure if you had enough time you could point out all his flaws, but you love him regardless the way he is. They really become afraid that someone could possibly be interested in you too.

7 hours ago, lornasaurusleeve said:

It is NOT your fault.

I do accept some responsibility in this because a lot of stuff I accepted , I shouldn't have and that's y its gotten to this point as of now. I never try to play victim at all just share my experiences. But I do know I don't deserve to be treated how he is treating me . As I said before I'm broken but not shattered. I will be ok. Thanks Lorna ?

6 hours ago, Erma Antwine said:

Girl keep on doing you. Men can be so catty for a lack of a better word. You look great. I wish I was there as far as weight. I'm sure if you had enough time you could point out all his flaws, but you love him regardless the way he is. They really become afraid that someone could possibly be interested in you too.

God forbid another man would find me attractive, lol ?. I know a big part of this is insecurity but a bigger part is control. I'm tiered of both so I'm gonna continue to get smaller and reach my goal. Regardless of how unattractive or how much of my butt may go. It feels so good to be able to wear a size 10 and have the waist to be loose. I have come to far , physically and mentally, to turn back now. Thank you so much for the support.

Just checking how everything going?

"I am broken, but strong." I love that. I hope that things are going better for you.

4 hours ago, KaylaWls1216 said:

Just checking how everything going?

I'm doing well... thanks for checking on me. Just figuring out my map and taking everything as it comes. But I'm ok ?

You look amazing. Your Husband should be proud of his determined and healthy wife. I have a friend that had marriage issues after she lost a lot of weight. Her Hubby got jealous and insecure. It took a while for him to realize she still loved him and only him. Men are wired differently. He is taking out his insecurities on you. Not fair. Sorry.

But.. you go girl. You look amazing!

3 hours ago, Redmaxx said:

"I am broken, but strong." I love that. I hope that things are going better for you.

Thank you so much... things are okay for me. Staying strong and trying to focus on my weight loss and exercising.

2 hours ago, AngAng said:

You look amazing. Your Husband should be proud of his determined and healthy wife. I have a friend that had marriage issues after she lost a lot of weight. Her Hubby got jealous and insecure. It took a while for him to realize she still loved him and only him. Men are wired differently. He is taking out his insecurities on you. Not fair. Sorry.

But.. you go girl. You look amazing!

Thank you so much.

Just a quick reply, My husband has done the same thing to me and keeps tell me I'm to thin and I also an not at goal. I went from a right 16/18 to a size 6/7 junior. I've never been able to wear junior because of my thighs which I no longer have. And you look great.

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