Family and friend rejection

[logen000 15]

Im 20 years old so my parents and fiance know about the surgery and thats it. Tonight I told my extended family and they freaked not supportive! I left my fiance yesterday because he was so mean about it! Has anyone had this happen. I keep reconsidering it because of peoples attitude... help please i really want this really bad

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[Healthy_life2 8,319]

@@logen000

This is your decision, not theirs. You don't need anyone's approval. If you want this...Then do it. Make no apologies for living your life.

[Hollyhock 62]

Wow! That's awful. Maybe you can find a support group where you can meet other people who are experiencing what you are and will be supportive to you. And you are very young. Why spend life with someone who does not support your decisions?

[logen000 15]

@@logen000

This is your decision, not theirs. You don't need anyone's approval. If you want this...Then do it. Make no apologies for living your life.

Thank you

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[Aggiemae 739]

Is you finance over weight? How about your family members? Very often these reactions are about their issues with weight. Someone else making changes threatens them.

You are so young and your life is just starting. Please don't live your life to please others. And, as Hollyhock just said, think carefully about getting married to someone who gets angry at you for wanting to improve your appearance and health.

My experience that my fat friends have been the least supportive. Even the ones who don't know I have had WLS but notice that I've lost some weight manage to piss me off. One of them recently told me she thought I'd lost enough weight! Seriously? Um... I weigh 235 POUNDS, I am morbidity obese.

[logen000 15]

They are arrange of sizes. I hope they come arround. I gave my fiance 3 months to adjust to it and he called it a unnecessary surgery and didnt support me so i broke the engagement off yesterday. It's really hard thanks for you guys ... Atleast you all support me

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[Aggiemae 739]

My only regret about WLS is that I didn't do it sooner.

Where are you in the process?

[logen000 15]

My surgery is on tuesday

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[Sixcrowes 24]

Is you finance over weight? How about your family members? Very often these reactions are about their issues with weight. Someone else making changes threatens them.

You are so young and your life is just starting. Please don't live your life to please others. And, as Hollyhock just said, think carefully about getting married to someone who gets angry at you for wanting to improve your appearance and health.

My experience that my fat friends have been the least supportive. Even the ones who don't know I have had WLS but notice that I've lost some weight manage to piss me off. One of them recently told me she thought I'd lost enough weight! Seriously? Um... I weigh 235 POUNDS, I am morbidity obese.[/quote

Maybe he is just trying to make you feel good by saying its "unnecessary (meaning he loves you the way you are)". Sounds like he thinks you are doing it just for insecurities and looks. Which is understandable. Try not to be too hard on him. He just needs more education on it.

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[biginjapan 647]

@@logen000

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.

If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

[logen000 15]

Thanks everyone !!

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[Mrsmcdaniel55 18]

Thanks everyone !!

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I have had people tell me that I am taking the easy way out. My surgery isn't till the 16th. But I know that there is nothing about this that is easy. It is hard. Hard to stay on the liquid diet. Hard to make the decision. Just keep your head up and know that it is not about them. You are doing this for you.

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[jhmingo 8]

Do what's best for you and your health everyone is not gonna be supportive think about how good u feel when the weight comes off and how much healthier you will be. But most of all do it for you.

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[Tufflaw 463]

Don't waste your time with negative people, even if they're family. I was lucky and got very positive responses from my family and friends. My wife's aunt was very negative and got on the phone and started telling me how I shouldn't do it, it's dangerous, I was going to get sick, so I just hung up on her and haven't spoken with her since. Life's too short, you know?

[theantichick 2,204]

Most people need education about what science is learning about the factors of being overweight, and what lifestyle changes can and cannot do.

My response is in my blog (see link in my sig about "Easy Way Out"). Once I share some of that information, most of the people in my life have been supportive. Those who haven't, I don't have time for them.

Good luck, and remember that you have to take care of yourself first. People will come around, or they will show themselves the door. It's hard, but your life will be better in the long run.