What kind of 'fat' person were you?

[LouLou22 15]

Hi all,

Am new to the site so please be gentle

I love reading everyone's posts.

A little back story... I had the band when I was near 300lbs. I lost about 126lb after giving it my all, exercise became my friend and I was absolutely loving life. However, I always had trouble with the band. I hated the unpredictability of it - some days I was fine, others I could be throwing up multiple times a day. To cut a long story short, I am having a band to bypass revision at the beginning of November (after putting on nearly 5 stone). Am very excited!

However, I'm sitting here feeling pretty disgusting after eating a family size bar of chocolate. I want to say that's the only thing I've eaten, but that would be a lie. So my question to you folks...what kind of fat person were you? Did you have have a mega sweet tooth? Gorg on takeaways? Just eat large portions?

I suppose I ask because I am intrigued as to how you coped with this change post surgery? I most definitely have a binge eating disorder which I am looking into seeing a therapist about. When I had the band, my food portions weren't cut drastically overnight (apart from the initial period). It took nearly 6 months before I had any restriction, so worked my butt off during that time and took advantage of my new found motivation.

My concern going forward is that I was always have this obsession with food...that I will always search for that 'full' feeling, that I will push it further than I should. Not out of greed per se, but more out of self sabotage (I seem to enjoy feeling rubbish about myself, it's what I'm used to).

I'm scared of my life being dictated by food...or perhaps it always will be and I just need to deal with that? I just don't want to be fat anymore...or lose all the weight again, but just to put it back on again.

I'd be interested to hear if anyone has felt the same and what your experiences are?

Sorry for the rambling.

Lou

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[James Marusek 5,244]

After my RNY surgery 3 years ago, I completely lost my hunger. It was not difficult to drop the weight when hunger was not constantly continually gnawing at my bones. After surgery many times I had to force myself to eat. This loss of hunger does not affect everyone with RNY but it does for many. About a year after surgery, my hunger returned but it was not as strong as pre-surgery.

[jess9395 5,448]

I was also a binge eater. Did the mental part of it before surgery. Mostly fast food/greasy stuff. Occasionally sweets but even then it wasn't candy it was donuts/cookies/cake.

Post op sleeve really changed things for me. No more appetite, no more desire, very few cravings even years out now. That combined with the mental work I did with a therapist has proven a pattern for long term success for me.

I really do think RNY and Sleeve produce an endocrine change that the band does not. Check out this podcast the doctor talks about the research suggesting this:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/weight-loss-surgery-podcast/id662443588?mt=2&i=350189278

[Gary Bentz 102]

I was a "closet" fat person. Everybody knew it but me.

Sent from me to you!

[Djmohr 6,965]

I was a sweets person and yes, I still am. I dont think it will ever go away and leave me alone. I cope most of the time by getting my mind off my sugar cravings....I crave chocolate in particular.

So, i try different methods to get me to stop thinking about it. Keeping my hands busy seems to work the best. So i get on here, or i crochet or i play games, go for a walk, do the dishes, take a shower.....you get the idea.

That being said, there are times when i give in and have some chocolate. I will say i am now rather picky and prefer dark chocolate which i guess is better for you anyway as long as you dont eat a whole bag.

I try using pudding or Protein shakes but after two years, i simply want a piece of dark chocolate that is cold from the fridge.

If you are binge eating you really need to talk with a therapist to work through that. The bypass will give you immediate restriction that releases over time. In the beginning i was lucky to fit 2 Tablespoons in my tummy. Now depending on what i am eating i can eat 1 to 1/2 cups of food. So it is important that i stick to the right foods.

You can do this but you definately need some coping strategies because the surgery definately doesn't change your brain.

[Cervidae 2,389]

I was a carb fiend! I basically only ate ramen noodles, white Pasta, white bread for a period of several years, during which I ballooned to over 400 pounds. I was really messed up at the time, and carbs made me feel the most full. I never really binged, though I certainly ate more than I should have. Mainly I was just always eating. I was NEVER ever satiated, never felt secure because I was never full and the only security I knew at the time was "okay, my stomach is full. I'm okay." Then the carby sludge would pass through my stomach and I would be starving again, and the cycle would continue. Scary stuff.

[LouLou22 15]

Hi all, thanks so much for your responses. It really helps hearing about other people.

Number 1 item on my agenda today is ring around for therapists...

Just want the bypass now! 4 weeks to go... However, this gives me some time to try and sort my head out somewhat.

Thanks all again for your time and responses. Keep up the good work, love hearing all your stories.

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[trekker954 421]

I know it's always recommended to find a therapist but what exactly is their advice that is so helpful.

I've talked to therapist now and then but never felt they were worth their fee.

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[Cervidae 2,389]

@@trekker954 therapists are just people. Some of them are going to be better than others at what they do, just like some people are better at being diplomatic than others. I've been in therapy since I was 10 and I've known more mediocre ones than good ones, but once I found the right therapists for me, they made an enormous difference. There's also a definite length of time you need to go to one before you even know if it would help or if the therapist and you connect with each other. You may have even passed up a great therapist by giving up way too early. It's a process; they can't just bandage our emotional wounds and send us on our way with a pain killer, thus fixing our problems. You have to work with them over a period of time to first identify what the issues are then figure out how to solve them or, in many cases, how to cope with them. They are trained to help you help yourself, rather than telling you how to magically fix a problem. The best therapy I've had was more like talking to a friend that will never judge me and figuring out my own problems through introspection and hard work, and my friend was there to guide me and encourage me and give me unbiased, objective opinions and advice. It can be great if you really try and give it some time! It's saved my life more than once and helped me lose 250 pounds and take control of my life and health, all things I never really believed I could do.

Edited October 6, 2016 by Cervidae

[RJC5197 282]

When I had my band 20 yrs. ago, and got so used to eating the wrong foods, because proper food like meats, veggies, fruit ETC... would get stuck. So I progressively learned that sweet and smooth foods like ice cream and chocolates, and high calorie shakes gave me quick energy and I depended more on them as my body got worse in accepting anything good for me.

The RNY fixed the problems and I am so happy that I can now eat anything I need to, to be healthy, and not would only pass thru. I have no sweet tooth anymore, and stay away from it to make sure I do not get into that habit ever again. My world opened up for me and hope the same for you.

[LouLou22 15]

@@RJC5197 This is exactly what happened to me. 'Normal' food did not go down, but chocolate and biscuits would all too easily slip down. So I got into a habit of eating sugar in replacement of proper meals and I haven't managed to get out of that habit. Even now when I can have normal food, I will always choose a sugary bowel of Cereal over anything else for dinner.

I was originally looking at the sleeve, however the RNY I am hoping will help with my addiction to sugar. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, and I (strangely) hope I am one of the percentage of bypass patients that suffer from dumping. However, am fully aware this may not be the case and I have to work on eating proper food and staying away from the white stuff.

With regards to the therapist, I just want/need someone to dig into my brain and help me figure out why I punish myself with food. Because I don't feel good after I've eaten a whole packet of biscuits; I feel sick. But I will continually go back for me. I think, like most people have suffered with weight related anxiety, I've just always felt I deserve to feel like crap. Because a fat person isn't allowed to be happy are they!

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[Raynbolite 302]

Binge eater...big portions...I never seemed satisfied. I wasn't an unhealthy eater...tons of veggies and fruits...just ate a lot. Eating was my coping skill and I used it. My hubby was the same, so we ate and coped together. We're both post op now...I did the sleeve and he did the bypass. We're both learning new skills, I have a therapist and am learning everyday. Lots of challenges ahead, but I know we can do it...just like you can.

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[mrsNilla 304]

Carbs, my frenemy...

I also liked eating in the evenings, instead of during the day. My portions have always been reasonable, but was snacking too much before bed time.

I was seeing a nut for a year to correct my habits and in November I'm getting my RNY "insurance".

Nilla

[JulieNOLA 44]

LouLou, I have never been a binge eater. But I've LOVED to eat. Growing up in New Orleans, life kinda revolves around good food. I had to reprogram my mind to look at food as nourishment and not pleasure. Realizing that I ate when I was sad, happy, bored, celebrating was a revelation. Turning your focus to your new goals is so important! I'd want to go get a couple of donuts and force myself to keep driving and pass it up. The success of not cheating made me proud and feel empowered until it stuck. This was all with my band. I had problems with it and converted to RNY on 9/27. So I'm back at it new again. But I like the idea that now I have the fear of dumping syndrome to keep me from sweets and fatty/fried foods. Best of luck!

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[DeletedMember 715]

I was never a binge eater, and never much of a snacker. I just really, really liked food, so when I sat down to a meal, I could put away a TON of food. A couple of big burgers and a bunch of tots or a huge plate of gnocchi and about 10 pieces of buttery garlicky bread, etc etc.

In some ways I feel fortunate, as the RNY makes that behavior impossible (not eating the wrong foods, but eating that quantity). And since sweets, snacking, binging were not really my issues, as long as I'm vigilant, it's sort of a miracle.

The one thing I have wondered 1,000 times since surgery is if "normal" people experience hunger like I did. It never really occurred to me pre-surgery, but I have realized that it really isn't hard to lose weight and eat healthy if you're not starving. Initially I had no hunger at all, and although it has returned over the last few months, it's a completely different sensation. Now it's more of a gentle reminder that I need to eat, but is easy to ignore if food is not accessible, etc.

This was not the case before. I would become RAVENOUS, and there was really no option not to eat. The longer I held it off, the more food I would want to eat when I did eat.

So, I wonder, is what I feel now more "normal" than what I felt before? Is this the type of hunger that "normal" people experience their whole lives?