So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Amen sister, preach it! I just don't understand at all, if someone loves you they WANT you to be healthy. Obesity takes years off of peoples' lives. If the person you are with doesn't want you to live a long and healthy life kick them to the curb!

I do think you hit the nail on the head, though, when you said you settled for your first husband. Sadly I think many people settle because they think they can't do any better

Edited October 2, 20169 yr by laceemouse

Amen sister, preach it! I just don't understand at all, if someone loves you they WANT you to be healthy. Obesity takes years off of peoples' lives. If the person you are with doesn't want you to live a long and healthy life kick them to the curb!

I do think you hit the nail on the head, though, when you said you settled for your first husband. Sadly I think many people settle because they think they can't do any better

Or they feel like they dont deserve better.

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Yes. ladies, please don't do that! There are good men out there! My husband is absolutely amazing with support. Never left the hospital, even though my mom and dad offered him multiple breaks where they'd stay with me. Walked with me in the halls. Even turned on the heated seat before I got taken down to the car to help relax the pain. (On low, we are in NC where it's still hot as heck).

I keep worrying about spending money. You all know this journey isn't cheap. We bought a new blender yesterday and I almost died, but he tells me over and over his top 2 priorities are my health and happiness. I am extremely extremely blessed. But my reason for sharing is there ARE men like this that are real. Don't settle for anything less. You deserve the best person who is out there for you.

My Dad always said a marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100 and both people give 100% of what they have to give. He swears it's the secret to success.

Anyway. Loopy, you are 110% correct.

I was 45 when I found my man. I won't waste your time with details, but do not settle for less. I used to say I would rather be alone than with a with a husband who won't come home, and I was alone for awhile. Never dreamed what happiness was ahead of me.

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Yes. ladies, please don't do that! There are good men out there! My husband is absolutely amazing with support. Never left the hospital, even though my mom and dad offered him multiple breaks where they'd stay with me. Walked with me in the halls. Even turned on the heated seat before I got taken down to the car to help relax the pain. (On low, we are in NC where it's still hot as heck).

I keep worrying about spending money. You all know this journey isn't cheap. We bought a new blender yesterday and I almost died, but he tells me over and over his top 2 priorities are my health and happiness. I am extremely extremely blessed. But my reason for sharing is there ARE men like this that are real. Don't settle for anything less. You deserve the best person who is out there for you.

My Dad always said a marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100 and both people give 100% of what they have to give. He swears it's the secret to success.

Anyway. Loopy, you are 110% correct.

You have any amazing husband so far mine has been very supportive I haven't had my surgery tho yet I hope he continue to do the same as he is now. I have never been hospitalized or bed ridden I have always taken care of the kids and the house so I'm curious to see how he steps up to the plate when needed to lol. I kinda hope them he sees my job is not always so easy also. LOL

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

You will be just fine Genn!

Agreed Geen you'll be fine, he sounds like a good egg. And Loopy, I'm happy for you! The good ones are out there [emoji4]

Edited October 3, 20169 yr by rolosmom7

My husband is far from perfect, as am I, but has been pretty darn amazing throughout this process too. I gotta give it to him. He's very nurturing. He took good care of me as I recovered, plus took over all child care duties of our 9 year old son. For the house I have a once a week cleaning service, so no vacuuming for me, unless a box of Cheerios spills lol.

I think some women just don't think they deserve any better. It's sad.

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Yes. ladies, please don't do that! There are good men out there! My husband is absolutely amazing with support. Never left the hospital, even though my mom and dad offered him multiple breaks where they'd stay with me. Walked with me in the halls. Even turned on the heated seat before I got taken down to the car to help relax the pain. (On low, we are in NC where it's still hot as heck).

I keep worrying about spending money. You all know this journey isn't cheap. We bought a new blender yesterday and I almost died, but he tells me over and over his top 2 priorities are my health and happiness. I am extremely extremely blessed. But my reason for sharing is there ARE men like this that are real. Don't settle for anything less. You deserve the best person who is out there for you.

My Dad always said a marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100 and both people give 100% of what they have to give. He swears it's the secret to success.

Anyway. Loopy, you are 110% correct.

My husband is being the exact same way. He stayed at the hospital all 3 days, only leaving when I asked him for a change of clothes and to get himself something eat. He slept in my room with me and I'm sure the nurses loved him because he had them show him how to put on my compression leggings and get me in and out of bed so I didn't have to bother them constantly.

He has been my savior thru this whole thing. All women (AND MEN!) deserve a partner like this!

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

I was 45 when I found my man. I won't waste your time with details, but do not settle for less. I used to say I would rather be alone than with a with a husband who won't come home, and I was alone for awhile. Never dreamed what happiness was ahead of me.

I am 37 and I have never had a boyfriend, but that is because I refuse to settle. I won't just take what I can get. I, too, would rather be happy and single than miserable in some relationship.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Did you watch the follow up episode? She divorces that dirtbag and starts dating again

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

I was 45 when I found my man. I won't waste your time with details, but do not settle for less. I used to say I would rather be alone than with a with a husband who won't come home, and I was alone for awhile. Never dreamed what happiness was ahead of me.

I am 37 and I have never had a boyfriend, but that is because I refuse to settle. I won't just take what I can get. I, too, would rather be happy and single than miserable in some relationship.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

.

I have so many single friends, sweetheart, and I tell them what I learned 40 years ago. I would rather be alone than to be married and ALONE.

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you.

I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died.

Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Did you watch the follow up episode? She divorces that dirtbag and starts dating again

Thank God!!!!!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

My husband didnt leave my side. Slept in the uncomfortable chair with his bad back. Made sure to get the nurses when I needed them, was the bad cop when my anxiety went through the roof with the beeping of machines being empty of iv fluids, did everything for me. Takes care of everything I ask for with no hesitation and just a really great guy.

Never settle.

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

Yes! I had a brief and awful marriage to a man who, when I had health problems, literally said, "I'm not doing this." We divorced after a year, and I spent my 30s mostly on my own, with brief relationships here and there but nothing particularly significant (well, one of them led to my son, so that one was significant in its way!). I happen to have a very decent and supportive boyfriend of 2 years now, but I see that as incidental and not "the goal" or the key to happiness, or the forever happy ending. Chances are, it's not going to be the end of the story for me...just based on my history and temperament.

As a previous poster said, being in a couple while being truly alone, or worse, being oppressed or abused on any level (this is not the same thing as compromise in a relationship, which of course is important when it's mutual and grounded in respect) is no prize in the lifelong question of "single or coupled?" Not even close.

Edited just to add: in an abusive relationship of any kind, physical, emotional, verbal, the decision and ability to leave can mean a lot more than "getting a backbone." It's often a matter of getting the resources (often emotional) to reject gaslighting that may have gone on for years. And in many cases the abused/disempowered party literally doesn't have the resources (money, a ride) to leave. So as important as it is to remind people that they don't have to put up with unsupportive partners, it's also important to remember how common it is for people to be stripped of their power, or taught to believe that they have no power, and to be supportive of them as they come to new understandings about their options.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Edited October 4, 20169 yr by hats123