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Oh, how easily we sabotage ourselves...
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I just have an observation about my journey (short as it might be: I was sleeved on 5/23/16). I had to go through a comprehensive program before I could get a referral to the surgeon. Nutrition classes, support groups, psych eval, exercise classes, smoking cessation lectures, monthly weigh-ins...pretty much the whole shootin' match. I was explicitly instructed on every aspect of the surgery of my choosing. I was given a goal weight to reach and was not to gain ANY weight or I got to go back to the beginning and do it all again. Once I completed all of this "stuff", I would advance to the next phase. I am sure this is no surprise to anyone here by now; it's pretty much the gold standard in weight loss centers of excellence. So here's the part I am finding the most fascinating and INFURIATING: I did it all flawlessly. I sailed through that program and got approved for surgery in three months. Then, I endured my two week pre-op liquid diet like a champ. Never cheated once. I reached my surgery goal weight and all was well! Fast-forward to today. I have done everything by the book...and NOW I can't seem to lose ONE damn pound? Wasn't the surgery supposed to make things happen? Wasn't it supposed to be a great tool that might even make things a little easier? I am so disappointed in myself and the "process". The thing I hate most of all is this: I can't seem to relax and let this happen. I just wake up every morning, still at the same weight, and keep on keepin' on. And I ask myself: What have I done ANY of this for? I am so afraid I will end up the same fat person with the same fat problems, only my insides got rearranged and I went through a lot of sh*t to lose 30 pounds. And then I pray. I pray for success. I pray for patience. I need this to work. Is it going to work?
Disclaimer: I am in no way meaning this to be a pity party, and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just needed to get this off my chest, and maybe hear from someone who also struggled like I am. Nothing more, nothing less. Thanks for listening.