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Why do some folks try to ruin this forum?

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

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  • BigViffer
    BigViffer

    I don't know if I am considered a vet or long time member yet, but I can relate to some of them. I have only been a member of this board for a little over a year. The number 1 thing I see that brings

  • Alex Brecher
    Alex Brecher

    Thanks to everyone who has been contributing to this discussion in a positive way. I am sorry this discussion needs to happen at all. I try very hard to maintain a positive environment at BariatricPal

  • Dub
    Dub

    Are you serious ? I've found @@VSGAnn2014 to be one of the sweetest and most supportive people I've ever encountered. Clearly you have her mistaken for someone else. You must have bumped your h

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At the risk of continuing to assault the deceased equine...

I'll offer up my spare change, FWIW.

I'm still a newbie for the surgery (hoping for August), and relatively new to the boards (signed up in Jan but really got more active around April/May). But as I've said several times, I've been around the interwebs since the AOL days and everything in between.

I gotta say, there's nothing new going on here. I have witnessed the newbs described here who get all butthurt when someone says they really shouldn't have done the 128oz steak platter 3 days postop. I've seen those newbs pout and carry on saying that this site is too negative, and they're going elsewhere to play. Presumably where they'll be coddled and patted and told everything they want to do is OK. Frankly, in my experience and opinion, don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out. You can't please all the people all the time, it's a short road to insanity. Then I've seen veterans start snipping and sniping at each other in passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive ways. A lot of these seem to be "my way is the only way" arguments (straws and soda, anyone?), and a lot of them seem to be personality conflicts. The veterans will then use the whining of the newbs and use that as a club to beat the other vets they don't agree with. Again, nothing new here.

As someone who has participated in more online boards than I could possibly count (and administered my fair share as well) over the 20-some-odd years I've been on the 'net, I can tell you there is no solution to this. It would be lovely if people would just pass over posts from people who make their blood boil, and liberally use the block feature if they can't manage it. It would be lovely if newbs would get the chip off their shoulder before posting. It'd be great if people would abandon the "my way is the only right way" mentality. However, this is reality, and there are humans involved. From a board management perspective, if you over-moderate you lose people because they don't like being censored. Under-moderate and it becomes a regular blood bath. You have to find the middle road, and just keep reminding people to play nicely in the sandbox. This is one of the better moderated boards I've seen... not too heavy-handed but managing to keep the nastiness from escalating past a point.

As a newb to the surgery, I deeply appreciate the veterans who are sharing their experience and opinion. I don't agree with all of it, but I'm not in a position to argue as I haven't been there yet. So I just absorb it all, ask questions to clarify, and try to play nice. I really hope that the vets won't abandon the boards for a private forum or off-board community. I have already learned so much from more people than I could list here and be reasonably sure I got their handles right. :)

Anyway, I think the board is awesome, Alex and the other mods are doing a bang-up job, and everyone needs to follow the Bill and Ted philosophy: Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!

@@theantichick you make several good points, but as one of the "vets" I don't really see the in fighting. I suppose I miss alot of the drama...and I guess don't notice this because I don't read posts about straws, soda, and the 3 week stall. It's better that way. :)

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

From a board management perspective, if you over-moderate you lose people because they don't like being censored. Under-moderate and it becomes a regular blood bath. You have to find the middle road, and just keep reminding people to play nicely in the sandbox.

Absolutely. I was a moderator on a board once and it's a really fine line to walk.

Now Dub, I'll lay money on the fact that you probably have a great recipe for horse. You mentioned the word 'skewered'. Is that because you were thinking laterally maybe?!

No such recipes, my friend.

However......spent 5 weeks in Japan and while there I went native.

Thank the Lord above that the weekends were mine....all mine....and I could hop aboard trains and get back to Tokyo & Kyoto for some menus that were more in line with what I was accustomed to in the states. Hard Rock Cafe spared my sanity on those weekend getaways. The weekdays were spent further out in the "country" areas where I was working. The stuff I ate was.....well....by our standards here.....vastly different.....but everything was perfectly prepared and tasty.

Funny story is that one of my co-workers was dead set on sticking with KFC, Wendy's and McDonalds while we were there on one of the trips. He contracted a bad stomach virus while there. I'd chose to go all in with their food....their culture.....had a blast and came home no worse for the wear.

And as far as the skewering comment goes........I've been working a long string of consecutive workdays with a few more to go.

Trust & Believe that I'm ready to do some skewering. It's becoming an undeniable need that must be met. I can't wait until my next day off when I can skewer my back out !!!!!!!!!!!!

Kampai !!!!!!!!!!!!

@@LipstickLady

Can I bait you?

I'm very good at it...

In fact, I'm often referred to as a Master Baiter....

What?

Oh ok...

I'm going...

Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just me? Whew!

21 pages long now and still nothing solved, nor has anyone given in to any others points....so I have to ask....was this post REALLY worth it?

What a waste of time :rolleyes:

Oh, I think this thread has been worthwhile.

Many changes have taken place.

Many rants have been vented.

No longer is "the elephant in the room" going to be able to be ignored.

Yes, this thread has been very worthwhile.

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