The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I don't know where my last post went. But it was made to lipstick lady

Sent from my SM-G930T1 using the BariatricPal App

I deleted it. Stop posting these negative posts asap or your account will be suspended.

Amen!

Life's too short !

Here is a mango flower

I don't know if I am considered a vet or long time member yet, but I can relate to some of them. I have only been a member of this board for a little over a year. The number 1 thing I see that brings out the negative comments from veteran members though is newbies asking questions that have obvious answers that could be answered by either looking at a few threads only a couple of weeks old or using the search feature. Threads like:

• Soda/Pop consumption
• Stalls at only X weeks out
• Can I eat pizza?
• Can I drink beer?
• I've eaten half a deer carcass and I don't feel full
• I don't want to read the literature my surgeon gave me and I am too lazy to call them so I will ask the question here just like a hundred other people that have done the same.
• Drama queens/kings and pity partiers that don't want to change and are only looking for justification for not changing their lifestyle.

In those cases, when you see them over and over and over, it's hard to either take them seriously or not be jaded. Then there are the people that create profiles merely to spam or cause uproars. Me personally, I just avoid posting for the most part. I did not join for support rather I joined for information. I have made friends with a couple and as a consequence found support, but that was a lucky result of my contribution to the forums.

My advice, get what you need and ignore the rest.

That is a great rant [can I eat half a deer? he he he] But the other side to this is it does create fresh content which seems to help with search engine optimization, so they may be annoying redundant posts, but they also drive in new people who are interested in improving themselves.

On another board I am on, the people are not particularly supportive and sometimes really vicious. I can usually spot the "trolls" but I have PM'd the ones who were rough in their response to me if they seemed to have a point. When it was no longer a public "who has the biggest attitude contest" they often have good points that have been helpful to me. Am I trying to be their "online buddy." NO. I am not here nor there on the internet for electronic friends but for information.

Possibly I have developed tougher skin, or I just skim past the snark, but I really have been impressed with the supportive nature of this site. I have found it to be remarkably honest and very real sharing of struggles in relationships esp. with the changes that come from WLS, as well as the food and health discussions. But the encouragement keeps me coming back. I do love hearing about people's successes.

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

Amen. @@Alex Brecher -- please?

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

Amen. @@Alex Brecher -- please?

Good idea! I will work on putting something together.

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

Amen. @@Alex Brecher -- please?

Good idea! I will work on putting something together.

This site has too many forums as it is. The reason people post in the wrong forums here is there are a bewildering array of (mostly inactive) forums.

You need fewer forums, not more.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

Amen. @@Alex Brecher -- please?

Good idea! I will work on putting something together.

This site has too many forums as it is. The reason people post in the wrong forums here is there are a bewildering array of (mostly inactive) forums.

You need fewer forums, not more.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

I agree that there are too many forums, but there does need to be a forum for people who are passed all the beginning stages and need to talk about long term maintenance without having to worry about hormonal butt hurt and indignation. I don't even mean that harmfully. I'd daresay many if not most of us went though it, some of us were simply more able to hide it.

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

Not trying to be snarky, but isn't that what the VIP area is supposed to be about? If it isn't, it could be.

I have a simple solution. Create a PRIVATE vets forum where people who have a few years experience can post without having to worry about a simple sentence being misconstrued.

Sometimes vets are snarky, but most of the time it is just that people are so quick to be offended, so quick to feel "yelled at" when that isn't the intention. I don't read the forums as much as I used to; but most of the nastiest insults and name calling I have read have been written by the "victims". I get it that WLS an emotional topic, a huge life changing experience, lots of ups and downs and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, too bad that isn't reprocipicated.

Not trying to be snarky, but isn't that what the VIP area is supposed to be about? If it isn't, it could be.

that, and people have to realize that the people they may be irritated with may either already be vets, or will become vets if they hang around and those posts will still be there. so that may be a recipe for more infighting among those who want to go there. which can not be a good or positive thing. I am assuming the forum rules would still apply.

@@Alex Brecher

A private forum for veterans??? Is that really necessary??

I mean yes, veterans can have their own place to post on. But it seems counterproductive for us newbies.

When i was a newbie, i came to rely on the experience and wisdom of these veterans... they were supportive and gave valuble information that a newbie could never give.

What we will create is a newbie forum with no experience or valuable information.

I know of late many people have been jumping on the "everyone is mean and rude" bandwagon and i really don't see what the issue is.

Personally, i have had most of my support from @@LipstickLady , @@VSGAnn2014 , @@KindaFamiliar , @@CHM , @ & @@Christinamo7

I find their posts are real and informative... and they can also take a joke... and lighten up a very dreary day when i am having one. I have only ever seen sarcastic comments in reply to when a poster instigates it..

I find that many people expect that posts should be posted as to how THEY would write it.... but the whole point of a forum is to have different personalities and opinions.

Honestly if this forum became overly moderated and one gets slammed for having an opinion or sense of humor i would most definitely go elsewhere...

I really hope it doesn't come to that... everyone should either reply with info that is useful, relevant or funny ... or not post at all.

I actually had a read of my first few posts yesterday... i don't know what i would have done without these "veterans" back then... i was an emotional mess... they helped put things back in perspective.

So to all you veterans out there.... thank you.... thank you for your support and taking the time out of your lives when you no longer need to... to give us newbies your wisdom, encouragement and a kick up the bum when required.... this forum wouldn't be the same without you ☺

I don't see the problem being vets giving "tough love" responses to posts. I did not hear people complaining about this. I have however seen vets turn what others have said into this to make it sound as if the offended are being wimps i.e, butt hurt.

It seems to me that the complaint is that others (and not always vets either) have responded to questions from newbs much too often with comments dripping of sarcasm and arrogance. It is difficult to openly ask questions when you don't know if you will be a target.

I come to Bariatric Pal for information and the experience of others - mostly from the veterans. I would most likely not bother with this any longer if the veterans have a private forum instead of posting in the usual forums.

don't worry @@KristenLe I don't think they mean to post exclusively on a veterans forum, just as an option. my issue is whatever they vent there, if it is identifiable the people they are venting about would eventually become veterans and have access to read old posts, and to me that is just a problem waiting to happen.

@@ridgerunner

Guess that is the nature of forums isn't it?

There will always be trolls, there will always be differences of opinions and there will always be people who take things the wrong way...

Its all about interpretation... what someone may see as sarcasm, another will see it as a joke. So regardless of what is said... someone is always bound to feel like a victim

This is a debate that will never be won, because every person is different and interprets things differently....

I just hope that people can relax a little and not make this a forum where everyone just whines and supports and enables each other... i do not want to come to a forum where i am scared to crack a joke because i might offend someone... i want to laugh too!!